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Mental health

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How do you know when you've reached breaking point?

37 replies

cottonwoolbrain · 19/03/2018 11:35

When getting up in the morning seems like a marathon?
When you dont answer the phone because you don't feel able to talk even if you know who it is?
When you just can't feel anything anymore? - not sympathy, not fear,not hate,not anger, not happiness or sadness... just numb?
When you lose all interest in your surroundings and you're just past caring that the sink is overflowing or the washing hasn't been done or that the livingroom looks like its been hit by a bomb?
When you feel sort of sick and on the verge of tears the whole time?
When doing even the simplist things seem like an effort?
When there seems no point in washing or showering?
When the thngs you do do - those necessary things are on autopilot - bath children, make food... almost like someone else is doing them..
When you comfort eat and put on a stone and a half in less than 3 months and don't seem able to stop
When you dn't want to go anywhere in case you have to talk to someone
When you think about killing yoruself but summoning up the energy to do anythng about it seems beyond you

When you feel as I do all those things at once... or don't feel them... or don't do them...

I'm so tired. There's a situation hitting our family that's been going on for 3 years. We can't do anything about it except wait and wait for other people because its so far out of our control. depending on what they do it could get far far better for indescribably worse... and I can't talk about what it is and I feel so alone and so useless and terrible mother and a shit partner and can't even confront the person behind all of this because it would make it worse....

and I don't know what to do anymoreand I'vehad enough and I'm breaking

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 21/03/2018 08:34

Hi lists
Hope today is another good day. I thought you did amazingly well yesterday but please dont push yourself too hard. You have a lot to deal with and no wonder it gets overwhelming.
My dad died at the end of jan and i have 2 disabled children so like you i feel i cant even begin to grieve esp as one has been in and out of hosp and awaiting another surgery.
Everybody elses needs have to come first but i am learning to take care of my own needs a bit better because i am no use to anyone if i am too overwhelmed
I dont care about mumsnet being ( supposedly ) unhuggy ( if that is even a word ) . I am sending you a huge hug of support. I am so sorry for the loss of your dad . Take it one day at a time and hope you can enjoy the sunshine and feel a bit brighter. X

listsandbudgets · 21/03/2018 08:40

Actually thirtyrock I think I will. Ive had breakfast now so maybe when Ive had my shower I will try going out. Other than school runs not been firther than local shops much recently...

The dishwasher can wait a while

flapjackfairy · 21/03/2018 08:56

Thats the spirit ! Good plan

listsandbudgets · 21/03/2018 14:01

Well I did.

I threw some washing in the machine, had a shower, hung it up and went out.

I walked for half an hour to a cafe in a park only stopping to buy a magazine on the way. Had hot chocolate and cake then walked to Sainsbury's bought a few bits for dinner and took the bus home. Was nice to get out the house - the sun was shining, the wind was blowing,the birds were singing and there were little children laughing and playing in the park...

house is still a tip but I feel better for doing something different.

listsandbudgets · 21/03/2018 14:03

Flapjack I'm so sorry about your dad, hard isn't it :( I hope your DC's surgery goes well - do they expect it to make a big difference?

YOu're right you know we're no use to anyone if we're over whelmed

flapjackfairy · 21/03/2018 14:15

Thankyou lists for your condolences and yes it is hard. I think it is getting harder as time goes on . I try to just deal with one day at a time which helps me.
Little one needs a different tube inserted for feeding into the bowel so hopefully will help in the long term. Anotherproblem solved then ( hopefully )
Your day sounds lovely btw. I felt better just popping out to the washing line ! Little pleasures are the best sometimes and i am currently enjoying watching it blowing in the breeze. Sad or what ? But i am going to savour a nice cup of tea and relax for an hour before the older one gets in from school. I live a real rock and roll lifestyle as you can no doubt tell Smile

Sarajandb · 21/03/2018 14:39

listsandbudgets - Depression for sure. Go see your GP. I suffer and how you feel sounds like how i get.
I've learnt lack of sleep makes it worse. Ask the GP for some sleepers if your struggling for a good nights Kip.
Could you get a sitter for a night off ? Have some me time, wine, bath or let your hair down ?
Invite a friend round for a coffee or a glass of wine socialising helps too.
One that does me in is house ! Clean house clean mind. If the house is a shit hole i feel worse but Cba to do it then feel even worse... Maybe tell someone how you feel ask for help a cleaning buddy or if you can afford to pay someone to blitz it to help you ? Or find it in you somehow to get it done trust me you will feel better.
Rope the kids in if they are old enough bribe them with pocket money ?
If you work all day.. take a sick day.. A day off with no kids.

If your usually at home all day.. u need to get out ! go for a walk meet a friend for coffee got to the gym something other than the 4 walls.

Talk to someone !! open up !!

Hope you feel better soon :-) xx

RJnomore1 · 21/03/2018 17:45

Well done lists.

I think it's really easy when things get on top of you to forget about self care because you feel guilty about spending time on yourself when you have things to do with your family. But it's really important.

UnimaginativeUsername · 21/03/2018 18:02

It sounds like today was a good day. It’s lovely to get out for a walk in the sunshine.

Talith · 21/03/2018 18:13

Some years are shite. Sometimes shite years follow shite years. Doing stuff on autopilot is seriously common. It's a strong response I think. I don't have any solutions but you're not alone and you are strong to try each day, even if it overwhelms you. I think setting small targets is a good start. I'd suggest paring down your list to start with so they are as manageable as possible.

cottonwoolbrain · 14/05/2018 11:12

Coming back...

I went to have blood tests taken on Friday. The nurse asked what was wrong and jokingly said she wasn't taking needle out of my arm until I told her at which point I collapsed in tears and told her everythng that has been going on. Upshot is they want me to have counselling... not sure I can face it.. not sure I feel able to analyse it all yet if ever.. counselling requires courage and I don't think I've got any left.

Yesterday walking back from the shops I cross the road and a van was coming towards me and suddenly I found myself slowing down and hoping for a split second it would hit me... it stopped,I moved on.. so frightened I could even think like that... ..

so out of control .. need to put the shit in a mental box and leave it there and I can't do it

OP posts:
RedPanda2 · 14/05/2018 13:07

Cottonwoolbrain I feel like this too. Going to docs but scared she might say in a fraud as I have no real problems but just can't function as normal. All my coping strategies are failing

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