This has been playing on my mind for the last fortnight and I'm not sure I can continue with my current counsellor as a result of it.
I posted previously about hitting my DP and getting arrested (see linked thread).
I spoke to my counsellor about it a few days later as I was 100% in the wrong, it shouldn't have happened and I know what I need to work on but need help doing it. I know categorically that I never ever want it to happen again and it shouldn't have ever gotten to that stage.
I've always tried to be completely honest with my counsellor even when it's been difficult to talk. I told her exactly what happened.
She first massively judged him for calling the police because I "only hit him" (that was her not me). I believe had absolutely had every right to call the police and I think he should have called them tbh! She was bang out of line saying that and i bet if the situation were reversed nobody in their right mind would tell a woman she was in the wrong for calling the police on her physically violent partner.
Then she accused him of abusing me because at times he shouts in an argument. She also said I've had so much going on lately it's no wonder I snapped and that counselling brings up all sorts of feelings that can be difficult to deal with. She then proceeded to give me some information on the Freedom Programme Mr right Mr wrong and abusive men.
What the actual fuck? I'm sorry but that is so far off the mark it's unreal! And it doesn't matter how much someone has going on. There is no excuse for physical violence.
Apparently, shouting at someone is as bad as physical violence and is also abusive behaviour. I disagree in that shouting at someone in an argument who is also shouting at you is not abusive, it's just an argument, albeit probably unhealthy.
The only thing he does on the "Mr wrong" list is shout. He does the vast majority of things on the Mr Right list. I think the only thing he isn't always is consistent but that's because of his mental health issues (think for example he enjoys walking one week and then the next week wants nothing to do with it, so very understandable in the circs).
Up until this point I've always found her really helpful. But after this I just don't know if I can continue with her. Part of the deal with DP staying with me was that I stayed in counselling. I don't want him to think I'm giving up but equally I sure as hell don't want to tell him what she said. And I sure as hell don't think I can open up to someone who came out with as much bullshit as she did last session. I haven't seen her since, have made excuses such as working late and being away.
Wwyd?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3172537-Can-we-move-on-from-this