It won't let me rest

[LEMtheoriginal]

Anxiety is going to kill me. Part of me wishes it would hurry the fuckup

Anxiety needs to fuck right off.

Are you on meds?
I'm on. max dose of sertraline and it's beginning to feel like it isn't enough.

Im on a fairly average dose of sertraline its set my restless legs off but i need more sertraline its not enough anymore i feel awful

I'm feeling the same today LEM
You have something nice planned for later?
I'm trying to get through half hour at a time. Then have a cup of tea. Actually still in bed as no oomph to do anything. Feeling a bit desperate.

One day at a time. But one worry follows the other follows the other. I saw my dd yesterday. She nearly had a panic attack at the thought of seeing all my work colleagues and it really upset me. Thankfully her cat seems ok. I made my dd like that.

I need to see an optician. I'm two years overdue - there are issues with my eyes. My sight is affecting my work but I'm too scared to go.

I think I need medication again. I feel like a failure.

Oh lovely. You didn't. How could you? I know the guilt feeling too well though. I see my worst traits in my very small children already. I'd hate for them to end up like me.

Go and get your eyes tested, you need to look after yourself. You do.

I'm not exactly sure what I need. Medication probably but I worked so hard to get off it. I'm terribly worried what next year will bring (failing health of relatives, moving, school stuff for DS). I want to go away as I know I won't be able to cope with it all.

No valuable advice unfortunately OP, just a ' I hear ya' Anxiety is the sporn of the devil and I'm waiting for the day when they invent an on/ off switch which can be implemented in my brain, so I can once and for all make Anxiety STFU!!! You are not alone,

I feel the same about medication. I am going to try and get some counselling in the new year but in all honesty I know I have to live with it. I'm just not sure I want to! Really. Anymore

Don't feel like a failure :-(

There's massive stigma around taking medication for depression and anxiety. Everyone thinks we ought to be able to deal with it but it isn't like that is it?

It isn't your fault your brain is being a dick and if meds can help them there's nothing wrong with using them.

I don't go around asking diabetics if they'll try and wean themselves off insulin, but people constantly expect mental health sufferers to stop taking medication.
It's really bizarre.

But anyway
One day at a time op. Or one hour at a time. It'll be ok

Hugs to all us anxious people - it sucks. Definitely don't feel bad about taking medication though - it's no different from taking inhalers for asthma or insulin for diabetes.

As to the optician, they can't possibly tell you anything worse than what you are afraid of, and probably they will just give you a new prescription and all will be fine! Hugs though - I know that feeling.

Anyone else wish they had an adult around to sort out all the things?
Like making appointments and sorting shit out?

Oh god yes! Also that bit when you're a kid and think that when you grow up you'll be all confident and in-control - what a bloody myth that was!

I really don't want to be a adult anymore - but I guess it's tough as I'm 47. Retraining to do something I should have done years ago. But I did something else as I thought I was clever - fail. My adult dd now suffering anxiety - fail. Probably my anxiety will take my job - fail :(

Aww Lem :-(

I don't think you can make anyone else anxious but parenthood it's a big old guilt trip and you'll always feel it's your fault even if it isn't.

Be kind to yourself

How are you doing LEM?
I'm sat sobbing into my 7 year olds arms. It's not been a great day

I'm on the @Smileandnod! I'm ok. Star wars was good and my daughter's cat Looks like she will survive (not out of woods yet). Had to leave Aldi in a hurry due to impending panic attack.

You have got to hold on. This time next year you'll be in your new house and much more settled. Try and hold onto that. Remind me if you have medication?

Its not been the best day here either my 9 year old is angry and anxious my adult daughter and i took him swimming with his younger brother it took me ages to get him out the house then he ran away in the pool fighting the pool because he cant swim jis school have been teaching him for over 5 years why cant he swim! He doesnt even enjoy the water anymore he now hates me because im going to "force" him to have extra lessons his anxiety has ramped up but he wants to know how to swim he is just so anxious about learning in a new environment

I don't have medication, only ...
We loved star wars too but then DS is obsessed and we are a star wars house.
Currently watching HP contemplating a G&T trying to hang on in there but I feel so alone.

Glad you enjoyed the film and that the cat is on the mend.

I'm about to have more wine!! I don't think it helps

It sucks im currently fretting ive damaged my car dam thing drives fine but i fell down a pot hole in the woods today and its worried me

I don't know that much about cars but if it feels ok driving it should be ok? I tend to reverse into stuff (posts, walls, trees) and damage our bumper. I'm not very good at driving!

How are you doing LEM?

The wine makes it worse ime, great at the time, more unsettled the next day.
GP has advised me to keep up daily running, enough to get my heart rate up, also recommended CBT. Also recommended anti-ds but going to try other stuff first.

CBT and anti Ds haven't worked for me. I'm beyond help it seems

Im on meds days like today I just want more

Hello - @Smileandnod I hope you are feeling better. I relaxed today for the first time - back to work tomorrow

It has been a terrible week LEM. Looking forward to being back at work (I think) as less time to dwell.
Not looking forward to unreasonable estate agents wanting to show people round every five minutes and the inconvenience of moving though. It's going ti be a very tough few months. One day at a time.