Had enough.

[mrsbounceisflat]

I've had mental health problems for a number of years. Until recently spent the past couple of years mainly in bed. The past few months I have been doing more with a lot of support but I just don't feel I can carry it on. It's all to much, the only thing that keeps me going is my son.
I have also run out of my anti anxiety medicine which is probably not helping hope to be able to pick up on Saturday, but can't face going out to get them on my own.
I've sh'ed today but it's not enough I just can't cope.

How are you feeling today mrsbounce

Still feel crap,being self destructive rather than using positive coping skills. I spoke to my OT and she's tried to break things down for me so life doesn't seem so overwhelming, but it's not really worked.
The house is a tip, we need to get the Christmas tree up and to top it all off I have my PIP assessment next week.

Can you tackle one small thing at a time? Sounds like you've done well so far in getting out of the last couple of years - can anyone get your medicine tomorrow for you?

I'm trying to keep it one small thing at a time, have been out to do the food shop tonight as it's quieter at night and gives us more time to do stuff tomorrow. I'm alright going out with my husband so as long as the drs have got the prescription to the chemist, I'll be alright if not the chemist will give them me as an emergency.
Thanks it really helps to know someone is listening.

Ahh well done and your DH sounds like mine, he is supportive of me at the moment while I'm having a wobble.
Good you can get your pills tomorrow either way, that must be a bit if a relief. I've just started on citalopram and it's making me feel v sick!

Early days on new meds are always tough, but hopefully you will find that they'll help.

Have you had any support from the NHS, therapy or similar? I'm starting on Thursday with telephone appointments. You probably have but could be worth trying again, or a different sort?

Hi again, I've got my meds so hopefully they'll help a bit.
I'm very lucky for support in the area I live, I've had a CPN for years but am now only seeing her monthly because I have an OT and support worker. I've started going to a weekly support group which has been a challenge to say the least as I'm not very good with people.
Today I aim to get the Christmas tree up and then I'll go back to bed.
It's good you're getting some support, make the most of it.

Oh well done for getting them. Do you think any of your support people could up the time you get with them?

And that's incredibly brave to go to a support group, I'm really outgoing and confident and I don't think I could manage that!
Really hope your needs kick in and take the edge off.

years so she's knows me inside out.

That didn't work I lost my whole post, basically i said I can't really get more support unless they think the crisis team is necessary. I think with new workers it's taking time to build up trust with them.

Do you feel better for a bit after seeing them?

Yes, but I don't feel I'm being completely honest with them. Disappointed to have woken up today, it means I have to deal with another day.

Oh that must be horrible, I'm so sorry you feel so bad. Does your medicine treat depression as well? Could you try a new one to see if it can tackle both anxiety and depression?

Could you tell them all this when you next see one of them, maybe their support could get a bit more regular if it helps?

I'm on anti depressants, an anti psychotic, and something for an anxiety. I go through waves of feeling like this and just try and ride the storm. I guess that is what I have to do this time.
I have my group tomorrow which is run by the OT and support worker so I will try and talk to them.
Apart from my husband and son, nobody would realise I was struggling as I just plaster on a smile. My husband has been great this weekend and has done some of the tidying in the lounge, he's off tomorrow so he said he will do some more.

Good you gave your group, try to tell them if you can, I know it's not easy though. Your DH sounds lovely.
I really hope this fucks off very soon and you feel a bit better over the next couple of days, it's a really horrible feeling I know. I had pnd and then ante natal depression and wouldn't want to go back to those times.

Although I do feel it creeping back from time to time hence the tablets now, plus a lovely new wave of anxiety! Hoping a break from work will ease it a bit.

Anxiety is shit, I've just been reading your other post I started on citalopram when I hadPND a long time ago and found it very helpful, although can't remember what side effects I had. Just try and hang on in there, until they kick in properly.

I think the sickness is going slightly now so it will be easier to stick with them! Hoping they start to help soonish although it's only been a week! I'm impatient.

How was your meeting today?

I went, but I didn't talk to anyone. I'm at present trying to pluck up courage to phone the Samaritans, the last tine I called them I didn't find them overly helpful. Our local mental health line has just been discontinued.
I'm alright when I can SH but can't really do that when my son is home and he breaks up from school tomorrow. I have no idea how I'll survive the holidays. I have an appointment with my CPN on Wednesday and also my PIP assessment.
I only carry on for my son.

Oh mrsb I feel for you so much. It's not long till weds, do you think you can tell your CPN how bad it is for you and ask them to help you urgently?
I just looked at mind.org.uk and there is a number you can ring tomorrow and two that are open till 11 and midnight, one called SANEline and one called CALM maybe they might have someone more understanding at the end of the phone?

here is the page

Just read again, CALM is for men. But maybe one of the others might be ok?

Sounds like you have a good plan with one small thing at a time, and you have made progress and are understandably exhausted.

Second the mind website for helpful numbers. Do you think it is worth calling one of them anyway even if you didn't find last time helpful?

So sorry you feel this way