Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

TRIGGER WARNING - This may be a disturbing thread - So sorry

84 replies

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 22:42

Apologies as I have had a few wines AND a depressing and long conversation this evening. Anyway, my question is, has anyone lost someone very dear to them and wanted to 'get in touch' ? Via a Medium, Ouja board? Sorry again to ask.

OP posts:

Insomnibrat · 27/10/2017 23:15

Ok so i'm a bit 'woo' and strongly believe THEY will contact YOU if and when they're ready, in some small way, to let you know they're ok or send a message. When it happens you'll know.

I read Tarot but i'm not a medium.

Please don't rely on or play with Ouija Boards. It really isn't as simple as a few bits of paper and a glass.

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:17

A couple of weeks ago I had the most vivid dream. My DM was there. She didn't utter a word, just looked at me and smiled. Her eyes sparkled in the dream as they did in RL - As if she was still here. It as SO real.

OP posts:

Rebeccaslicker · 27/10/2017 23:18

I used to enjoy this as a teen. We were convinced Something was happening.

Read about the ideomotor effect years later!

www.bbc.com/future/story/20130729-what-makes-the-ouija-board-move

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:20

Yes I am Getyourrocksof - But I haven't had the guts or the organisation to do it yet.

OP posts:

hiddley · 27/10/2017 23:22

I really don't believe in mediums. It sounds like you have unresolved things you wish you could discuss with this person. I think grief counselling may help you in that regard.

And then, to go completely in the other direction, last year I stayed in my late grandmother's house (she had died the previous year). On several occasions, in the mornings, I would hear knocking on the front door or the bedroom door, but there was never anyone there. It was never a bad experience, and didn't frighten me (moreso woke me up and got me out of bed). I know logically that there is a term for this where you're transitioning from sleeping to waking and have auditory hallucinations, but I happily think that it was my grandmother getting me out of bed as it would have been an unseemly hour to still be in bed in her view. It's somewhat comforting to feel that she is still up there. Judging me. Lol.

ShoesHaveSouls · 27/10/2017 23:24

I prefer to think my Dad has 'gone on' - to whatever and wherever I don't know.

There are certain things that make me think of him - white feathers (I know that's a common woo thing). I always say hello to him when I see a white feather. And robins, because they were his and my favourite birds.

Not rational, I know. But comforting.

Cantspell2 · 27/10/2017 23:26

I lost my husband less than 2 months ago to cancer. He was diagnosed and died within 3 months and we knew he was terminal with a very short prognosis. We discussed his dieing but at no time did we discuss trying to contact him again via all the whoo methods. We talked about him being met by all who had gone before him who would be their to welcome him and look after him until it was my time to join him.
I am alive and he is dead. We will speak again and be together again but not in this lifetime.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 27/10/2017 23:26

I don't think Ouija does any good, love. Have you any RL support?

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:27

Bottles It was a fair comment - I just feel...pathetic to feel the way I'm feeling.

OP posts:

CanIBuffalo · 27/10/2017 23:34

You feel what you feel. It's not right or wrong. But it's what you do with those feelings that's important. I think it's very likely that your DM would want you to be happy. I'm a mum to adult children. Neither of my parents made it past 55. I'm 53 so it's something I think about a fair bit. I'd like my DCs to remember me and smile or laugh I'd want them to be happy because I love them in life and I'll love them in death. What would your DM advise you if she were here now?

GetYourRocksOff · 27/10/2017 23:34

You sound like your really hurting.

I'm sorry to hear you have thought of suicide but glad you haven't made any attempt.

What support do you need?

It doesn't matter if your bereavement was 10 days or 10 years ago. It's hurting you now.

Everyone has different thoughts about the afterlife and I don't think there's anything wrong with taking comfort from your dm appearing in a dream

I believe people don't vanish, their energy just changes. I lost my grandad 17 years ago and I always think of him when I see the wind blowing the the trees when the leaves are orange. Rationally I know it's not him, it's the changing of the seasons, but it gives me comfort. He loved this time of year.

Do you have any connections like that with your mum you can take comfort from?

LoafEater · 27/10/2017 23:34

I went to a 'medium' after my mum died. I still feel angry at how she exploited my total and all consuming grief. She saw me coming and used my sadness to make money, bitch.

liz70 · 27/10/2017 23:35

I'm not a medium or psychic or anything, but I have had someone who has passed on contact me. I didn't go seeking this person, use ouija boards, seances or anything like that. They came to me, and believe me it was the last thing imaginable that I expected. I've posted about it quite extensively on here. I agree absolutely with Insomnibrat. Nobody can "summon" or "call" someone in spirit to contact them. If they claim to, they're lying. I haven't done anything to make what happened to me happen.

Apileofballyhoo · 27/10/2017 23:42

Lots of people believe when you dream about a loved one it's them visiting you. I dreamt about my DM's cousin 2 nights ago and it was a fantastic happy dream and I woke up feeling great. I wish I'd written it down now because he was giving me a book and I'm wondering now what it was. He looked wonderful and very, very happy in the dream. He died a year ago and we weren't close at all though I was very very fond of him. Even remembering the dream has made me smile again!

On the other hand I lost someone very close to me 3 years ago and I still can't cope with it. At all.

Insomnibrat · 27/10/2017 23:42

In some ways, I think you need to find your own closure on this, maybe to say goodbye properly.

A decade ago I lost someone who I was close to, I just couldn't let go of it, couldn't get past it. I kept seeing things which reminded me of him so vividly. It sounds silly but in the end, I took an empty bottle of his favourite drink, wrote out the song lyrics which reminded me of him, some other little mementos and memories, put them all in the bottle, sprayed some of his cologne in it etc all like a time capsule. I took it to a place I associated with him and said goodbye at sunset as I dropped the it into the river and watched it disappear downstream.

I know i'd said goodbye and in a way I felt he knew i'd done it too. Like it was our last little activity together. It sounds so silly and twee but I was genuinely at peace after that.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/10/2017 23:44

I agree with PP that mediums are cons, or deluded. I went to one and thought I found answers. Looking back, I didn’t at all, everything was so vague and I’m angry for getting suckered in at a vulnerable time in my life.

But can someone please explain to me why ouija boards are dangerous (assuming ghosts and ghouls are not in fact real)?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 27/10/2017 23:49

IMO, oijjua board aren’t dangerous as item.its what they represent that’s the danger
The hope and or belief that that the object is a mechanism to contact dead
and there’s plenty of charlatans who’ll financially/emotionally exploit grief

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:49

First of all Cantspell I am SO SO sorry for your loss - I cannot begin to imagane what you must be going through.
And to all of you other truly lovely beyond belief MN's, THANK YOU.
(Disinterested - your user name is SO not right for you may I say).
I triggered this, and I mean only ONE, has been the recent news that a very close friend of my brother's friend's wife has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She really is one of the most beautiful human beings anyone could ever hope to have the privialage of meeting or knowing. Ever. And she is not going to be here much longer. AND she has 3 children. And a husband who loves her so so much. And because of all of these things, she should be here. For many many years. And she won't be. I will. And the worst of it is, I don't want to be. I don't. She SHOULD be - And I don't want to be and how screwed is that? In so so many ways. I feel ashamed and also I want her to 'take my place'. I know - this is pathetic and crazy - but I do. And yet I realise that life doesn't work like this. But I still feel that I shouldn't be here and that DM would know...something. What light to shed on this hideous extravaganza. Goodness knows.

OP posts:

Insomnibrat · 27/10/2017 23:52

CherryChasingDotMuncher
Personally I don't think we can assume ghosts, gouls and malevolent energies are not real. I'm sure everyone has polarized views about this but i'm not personally prepared to rule out one option or the other

If we assume that there is no such thing then I think the 'danger' lies in them being psychologically dangerous to someone of emotional or mental vulnerability.

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:54

Insomnibrat - That's so so beautiful - Not silly at all

OP posts:

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 27/10/2017 23:55

And I'm so sorry

OP posts:

Insomnibrat · 27/10/2017 23:56

fullofhope03

You're right, it's not bloody fair but there's no real way of calling up the deceased. Otherwise, crime detectives would just ask the deceased victim whodunit?

I still maintain they'll find a way of demonstrating they're still around though, personally. We're not without hope, I think.

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 28/10/2017 00:00

Apileofballyhoo Hug -

OP posts:

Original poster

fullofhope03 · 28/10/2017 00:10

GetYourRocksOff Mum loved nature. So I've 'inherited' that and always think of her and DF ( her in raputures and him saying "For goodness sake, come on Paula, get a move on!"

OP posts:

GetYourRocksOff · 28/10/2017 09:09

would she be stopping to look at the flowers and he'd be hurrying her up?

How are you feeling this morning?

Flip

1 2 3 4