Starting to scare myself. ..suicidal thoughts

[RottenTomatoes959]

Posting this here so it dissapears.
Let me start by saying I don't want to,not really anyway and would probably never be able to go through with it but the frequency of these thoughts are getting a bit much. I'll be fine for a while and then bad for a while but the gap between the bad times is shortening.
I can't stop myself imagining it and googling ways to do it,like the least painful ways and how easy.
I know it's bad but I can't stop myself. I know I'd never do it and people would care but I don't really care.
Im probably talking shite but I'm worrying myself now.
sorry for the rant but can't talk to anyone in RL

OP, Im sorry you're feeling like this.

Do you think you could see your GP and tell them how you're feeling?

What is it that's making you feel so bad?
Is there anyone you could talk to in RL?
for you

What's going on at the moment?

Sorry you're feeling so bad atm. Have you heard of Eckhart Tolle, he spent years in depression with suicidal thoughts and came through it. He has loads of videos on YouTube, I find it so relaxing and helpful. Best wishes.

That's the thing though theres nothing going on,or should be anyway. Things are average. Obviously the general stressed of having a toddler and working but Im young(ish)so still live at home so get enough support.
I did go see my GP a while back and he put me on serlan but and I know this sounds ridiculous but I felt it made me worse so I stopped taking it

You mean sertraline? They take a while to kick in. It's a hugely stressful thing taking care of a child even if it's rewarding.

Doesn't sound like you have the right gp for you, speak to reception and ask them to recommend one

When thoughts like that become intrusive it can be very disturbing, I know as I've been there so understand what you're going through.

First thing is to see a GP and tell them what's been happening in your mind. They can help you with medication and possibly counselling to help. Believe me, when you are on your way to getting help it's a massive relief. Don't suffer alone.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. I understand, I've been there. Please speak to your GP again, it can take a while to find the right medication to suit you.

If the intrusive thoughts worsen, then you can go to A&E. DH took me earlier this year when my thoughts spiralled out of control and I was assessed very quickly by a member of the crisis team. They were lovely and supportive.

Take care

Thank you all for your kind comments. It's nice to know it's not just me cos I feel like I'm going crazy lately. I'm going to try get through this weekend and then speak to my GP on monday

Good luck with the GP on Monday, well done for reaching out, it's a brave step.

I was prescribed a very short course of diazepam (just 2mg 3 times a day), when I was at my worst. It helped calm down the intrusive thoughts until my medication adjustment kicked in. So there are always ways round things, never give up hope.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly - if you need it removed at any point, please don't hesitate to get in touch.

Thank you Lorna