I have a DD who is 3 in a few weeks and we just have no relationship. I love her, and I would die for her but I just find myself wishing she wasn't here. She's lovely. She never tantrums, never cries, has a beautiful heart and soul. I just feel like such a shit mum. I find it such a huge struggle to sit down and play with her, or go out and do things with her. It's just us, her dad isn't involved. I just feel like she deserves so much better. I have BPD and I do have my bad days but even in my good days I struggle. I don't know what to do because she deserves the world and I can't even give her a smile most days!