I wish I could kill myself.

[heatherxo]

I really do. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. My mood swings just won't stop and no one is giving a Fuck!! I try and try to explain what's happening to me (to docs) and they do nothing everytime.

I've had a great 2 weeks. GREAT. Like I've been on top of the world, best mood ever. No set backs, nothing. Everything was great.
And today. Boom. It's honestly like my head has exploded. I'm feeling shit, I've cried all fucking day. All I can think about is how much I hate myself.

Surely this isn't right..? I know I'm gonna feel "depressed" now for a couple weeks before I mysteriously feel amazing again.
Someone help before I lose my mind

I don't have much to say, but I didn't want to not reply.

Keep asking for help. See another doctor?

I get a bit like this tbh. Not to the same extent, I don't think, but very up and down.

Keep going. Keep talking. We're here to listen x

I didn't want to read and run. Someone will be along soon to give you some real advice.
Please hold on, think of what made you feel good last week. It hasn't all gone, I bet.
I'm sorry I can't say much more but I send unmumsnetty love and hugs xxx

💞
It's not right and it's so hard.
Can you think of it as waves. Know that you will feel better.
And go back to the GP urgently, or A&E with your post and title printed out or screenshot onto your phone.

I'm sorry you're not getting any help

One question, though, you say you felt 'amazing'--is it possible that you were either hypomanic or manic? I sounded very much like yourself before I was diagnosed with bipolar. I didn't realise that my mood was 'too' amazing.

I just don't get it.
I feel like I'm living inside my own head and that nobody else is here except my son.
I feel like the doctors don't help. I feel like I'm sinking and it's just getting worse. The mood swings are terrible, I honestly feel like a totally different person each time.
There is something wrong with me and I need help but they aren't listening.
What do I do?

Have you had therapy and if so, what kind?

I'm currently in counselling. I did it before and it helped a lot so I thought I'd try again. It kinda helps but not so much as last time. I'm on sertraline too.

Would I have to go through my gp to see a psychiatrist? I think maybe I need to see one, but as I said, the gp's don't listen
X

Hi OP,

We're so sorry that you're feeling so low. We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Yes, you need to go through a GP to get referred to a psychiatrist. GP's are often not very experienced in dealing with mental health, although there are some who specialise. It might be worth asking if your GP practice has someone with a special interest in mental health.

You say two weeks good, two weeks bad? Is it always like that? Could it be something like premenstrual dysphoric disorder?

I hope you find some answers soon.