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Dh ill - worried about dcs - help met o stop panicking

29 replies

nearlythree · 07/03/2007 09:48

Dh has a flu type thing and a massive temp of 39.5. Our dds were v. ill this time last yr with weird viral things and dd2 was hospitalised twice. It left me with great anxiety esp. as ds was born around the same time. Now we have ds my anxiety is huge, and I am terrified that the dcs will get whatever dh has and get really sick. Please help me to get a grip and put this in perspective!

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massagemum · 07/03/2007 10:02

Make sure that dcs was their hands each time tehy come into contact with dh., try to keep dh apart from dcs as much as possible. Plenty of fresh air for dcs.

They are probably going to be fine. but stock up on calpol!!

Mine have all just had virus/flu type thing as well as dd's also getting chicken pox. I just made sure that they were having medicine when they could to keep them dosed up and temp at bay. Barely warm baths to keep them comfortable and to keep them occupied (up to 4 in one day!!) Lots of good homcooked food that they enjoy (but don't worry if they don't want to eat to much) lots of dippy eggs in my house!

And plenty of juice.

Good luck to you

nearlythree · 07/03/2007 10:06

Thank you. Have opened all windows, we are washing hands like Lady Macbeth and dh is banished to the spare room.

So nice to talk to someone...

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nearlythree · 07/03/2007 10:53

The GP has just rung and is concerned about dh's stiff neck. He is coming out to us after lunch.

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ruty · 07/03/2007 11:50

oh help nearlythree that's all you need. glad the doc is acting promptly - remember flu can make you feel stiff too - but round here i think you'd be hard pressed to get a doc around the house!
Keep ds away from dh as much as you can and try not to worry. I know how hard it is. But keep us posted on what the doc says.

nearlythree · 07/03/2007 12:39

Hi ruty, thanks, think I am going off my head with worry - silly I know but after last year...I am sure dh will be fine but I am so scared that the dcs will get il, or that I will and not be able to look after them. A friend is having dd1 after school so just have dd2 and ds until bedtime.

Hope the doc gets here soon, I can't stop crying and feel so stupid.

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nearlythree · 07/03/2007 14:19

Dh has flu.

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DumbledoresGirl · 07/03/2007 14:23

Nearlythree, I can't make any promises for you, but I had flu about 4 weeks ago now and none of my children or even dh who shared my bed, caught it (mind you, dh and ds2 have been vaccinated against flu as they are asthmatics). Even so, no-one else caught it. I wasn't really up to seeing the children so dh kept them right out of my way for at least 3 days.

BTW, it won't help you now, but are you aware you can have the flu vaccine? It is normally only offered to vulnerable people eg asthmatics etc, but this year, I know they had some vaccines left over and they were available to whoever wanted it.

nearlythree · 07/03/2007 14:52

Thank you Dumbledoresgirl. My GP said these things are so unpredictable, and very often dcs get milder versions as they tend not to feel so achey. I guess we just have to sit it out. I'm going around wiping door handles etc. Just looked at the bloody NHS Direct website which is full of dire warnings about babies getting flu - must remeber to cut off my fingers next time I look at that, their information is so crap and I end up in a panic. Really annoying as our lovely GP says there is no flu here atm but dh went to see his Dad in Romford so probably picked it up there.

Think we should know within 48 hrs if the dcs are getting it. Dh is still in bed and I intend to keep him well away (although that is probably shutting the stable door.)

I sound like such a wuss, it's only 'flu but get in such a state about the dcs getting ill.

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cheeryface · 07/03/2007 15:10

nearlythree, i think i have found someone as worried about their kids getting poorly as me!

i feel for you, i really do, it's awful being so anxious.

we had the same situation with dh a couple of months ago, none of us caught it thankfully although ds1 has been ill since but from somewhere else.

nearlythree · 07/03/2007 15:41

Thank you. I never used to be anxious until dd2 got so ill the day after ds was born, I think the hormones threw me and since then I haven't been able to handle it.

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massagemum · 07/03/2007 15:55

Sorry, had to go out to toddler group!!!

Anyway back now.

Read the thread. You are doing the right things and its normal to worry.

You seem to be coping fine - so don't worry about being anxious.

ruty · 07/03/2007 17:23

as far as i know although flu jabs can be useful, they can't protect against all the different strains of flu out there, so although it is something worth asking the doctor about, i don't think you should worry too much that the dcs haven't had them. At least it is flu and not something even worse, although i know real flu can be bad. Fingers crossed for the dcs - i think the doc is right, if they do get it it may not be half as bad. Thinking of you nearly three!

nearlythree · 08/03/2007 09:55

Thanks massagemum.

ruty, thank you - I am so mean to dh, I was wishing him all kinds of horrible infections so long as none of them were catching and he could take some abs for them. Am still really worried about the dcs - just took the dds to school with ds in his buggy and all the other mums were doom and gloom about how ill we are all going to get.

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DumbledoresGirl · 08/03/2007 09:58

Don't think about them nearlythree. Remember what I told you. I had flu and did not pass it on to anyone else in the family. In fact, I can't think of any time when I have had flu in my life (at least 2 or 3 times before) when I have passed it on to the people living with me.

How is dh today? Have you kept the children well away from him?

nearlythree · 08/03/2007 10:30

Thank you DG. That makes me feel loads better - tbh I would have thought me or the dcs would be showing signs of it by now - dh was under the weather for a couple of days before it fully came out. He's still v. poorly - not helped by the spare room bed which he has just informed me is 'f**ing uncomfortable' - he's currently in our bed but I will kick him out later. Have kept him away from the dcs - he has been in the same room as baby ds briefly but o/wise only seen them from a distance. Usually he has ds whilst I do the school run but ds came too today - it's beautiful here and I've got all our windows and the back door open to get in as much fresh air as possible.

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DumbledoresGirl · 08/03/2007 10:32

It sounds like you are doing all you can. I especially like the windows open and fresh air coming in idea. That is the sort of thing I do! Good old fashioned, but (I think) effective, measures.

nearlythree · 08/03/2007 11:31

Thanks DG - am also making garlic bread for dinner!

Been thinking about this and most people class a heavy cold as flu - and they can be really nasty - they are v. contagious and do wipe out whole familes for a while. Maybe that's what people mean when they think we are going to all get it? But flu isn't like that - dh has no cold symtoms and if you spoke to him on the phone you wouldn't know he was ill.

(N3 takes wishful thinking to a whole new level...)

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ruty · 08/03/2007 13:06

don't suppose the dcs would take to munching on raw garlic?

It really is a beautiful day here - just hold out a bit longer - spring is really palpably coming now. Fingers crossed the rest of you stay in good health.xx

nearlythree · 09/03/2007 11:06

Dh has a chest infection now, GP coming out later. He did get a bit close to the dds yesterday evening - I'm treating him like he's uncleanand he's missing contact with the dcs. My nerves are to shreds and dh is climbing the walls. I don't know if I am being overcautious or if dh is still infectious - will ask GP later.

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DumbledoresGirl · 09/03/2007 11:44

Hang on in there nearlythree. Your poor dh does sound very ill. Has he got a tv and video/dvd player in his room? That is how I got through my flu, watching videos, as I did not feel well enough to read. It helped me to not feel too lonely too, as dh was keeping the children away from me and not visiting me much himself!

I hope the GP gives you the reassurance you need and you and the children stay well.

nearlythree · 09/03/2007 11:58

Thanks again DG - don't know where I'd be without this thread. Dh is sleeping most of the day and watching tv in the evening - I am going to bed with the dcs so I keep my energy levels up. He's just fed up he can't interact with the dcs or do much around the house. We don't have a tv up stairs but have a new portable dvd player he can watch once he feels a bit more up to it. I'm keeping well away which isn't helping him at all.

And a stupid mother at pre-school today thought it would be funny to make a big thing of keeping away from me once I told her dh had flu.

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldinghands · 09/03/2007 12:05

Aw nearlythree you have my sympathy. I am just getting over a horrid viral thing which knocked me off my feet for 3 days last week (and that never happens) and which I am still feeling the effects of now. I know it wasn't flu because true flu is worse, like you DH is now, but I had a temp of 38.8 which is high for me.. not sure I have had one that high since being an adult.

DS2 (6) who has cp also came down with it same time as me and he is still poorly, only in last couple of days is he starting to show a spark of interest in anything again, although even now just wants to lay around sofa all the time. This is as far removed as it could possibly be from how he normally is because part of his condtion is hyperactivity! I too am comparing all this to last year when he (although not I) was ill and he was like it for nearly 3 weeks. Although he is improving, I am not at all sure he will be able to go back to school on Monday, probably not in fact.

These viral things are horrid aren't they. And the secondary infections that follow them (think I have a sinus infection now that I am trying to ignore) but at least they can be treated with antibiotics.

Hope the DCs remain flu-free and that DH is on the mend soon.

xx

nearlythree · 09/03/2007 14:20

Thanks, Shiny. Am hoping the GP can give me some more reassurance re the dcs - I'm treating the poor man like he has a crystal ball. Sorry to hear about ds2 - I know what you mean - and cp too - FWIW a nurse friend said that after CP it's good to give them an extra week off to allow their white blood cells to build back up.

Really hope I don't get it, I can't bear not to be able to look after the dcs, I had about a month after ds was born where I couldn't look after the dds when they were ill and it was awful.

(btw dd1 went to her disco in the end...)

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldinghands · 09/03/2007 14:47

LOL I meant cerebral palsy not chickenpox, although poor old DS2 is probably going to come down with that too as DD has only just gone beck to school after having chickenpox (she is still scabby) so they have been home together all the time and totally exposed to each other!

(These acronyms can be confusing sometimes!)

nearlythree · 09/03/2007 20:18

Oh Shiny of course you did, how stupid of me - I know your ds has cerebal palsy! I've got chickenpox on the brain today, it's in the village again and two adults I know are worried they are going to catch it from their dcs. Hope that you and ds2 continue to get better and that dd didn't get chickenpox too badly - can be v. uncomfortable for girls.

Well, dh is remarkably better, his temp is down to 38.2 (from 39.5) and he can walk without looking like he is about to keel over. The GP says he is 'almost certainly' not contagious and tbh that is probably true - his chest isn't as bad as it sounded at 2 this morning and he isn't coughing. So he played with the dds after dd1 got home from school and picked ds up briefly - I am still worried but OTOH it will probably be better for my anxiety if we can function almost normally again.

Thanks to everyone who posted for helping me to stay sane!

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