Need help and no-one gives a shit

[BBCNewsRave]

the crisis team will basically let me die.
I'm so sad, I've tried for so long. Just wish someone cared. Have dealt with so much but can't keep going with zero support. Not even a friend to call right now. it's all i have been able to do to get this far, no energy to fight services trying to get help and be treated like scum. They make me feel worse. I asked for help before it was this bad. i would give anything just to have someone to have a cup of tea with or something. No one cares, i dont matter

Hello, I feel as though I may be in the same kind of situation. I hope you managed to get some sleep last night because I know how traumatising being alone with no support can be. I have no family or friends left in my life and even my GP isn't interested in my issues, she can't get me out of her office quick enough! My local crisis team failed me massively and actually made my situation worse. I had no one to talk to and no one to help which just made everything 100 times worse.

I phoned my local MIND and even they said they couldn't help but when I contacted them again for help filling in my ESA form, I managed to get an appointment. During the appointment the woman helping me saw clearly how low I was and asked me about my support network. After admitting I had no one in my life helping me through any of this she offered me weekly talking therapy with her or another counsellor within the service.

MIND have been the only thing keeping me going for the last 4mths, while I wait for all the other services to give me the assessments and treatment I need. I go every week without fail and talk about anything and everything. My counsellor is amazing, I have never felt so comfortable with counselling. I had cbt and hated it, especially the question sheets you're forced to fill out at every session to put a figure on how ill you are!! MIND are a private charity so there's none of the pointless paperwork, just someone who wants to help and be the support you need during the time you need it.

Please see if you can get into your local MIND, I believe they can help you get through this. Please pm me if you don't manage to get an appointment and I will try and help you get in another way.

Thinking of you X

Hi OP, how are you doing? just wanted to check in and see how things are. is there anything you want to talk about?

Thanks for the kind messages. Too tired and deflated to reply properly. All mixed up in the head. Feeling a bit better than yesterday though.

Sending love to you OP. This thread has moved me deeply. You ARE extremely important, and matter enormously xx

Also woke up thinking about you.

I have a relative with long term MH issues.
I have been involved with her care though not official next of kin. I think if you refuse meds then they will not assist you, she said something about it to me a few years ago but I'm unsure, can anyone confirm? It's just that you have written that you have refused them, I think it's seen as non compliant behaviour.

I have considered getting prescriptions for anti-D's but just not taking them, Mittens. It is seen as noncompliance, yes. Although in my case a lot of the professionals believe me/understand that they do nothing for me so no point. GPs try to push them though (whilst simultaneously refusing meds for a very painful physical condition when I have a flare up - fortunately consultant forced their hand!).

The professionals I speak to - usually crisis team - will agree with me I clearly need therapy, and tell me I need to focus my energies on getting that. As if it's up to me! CMHT will not speak to me, will not discuss anything. When I was assessed in the past they just steamrolled all over me with their weird interpretations. I think because they know I have no support they will get away with it.

I actually have enough money for private therapy but none will see me as its too risky with zero support. Last therapist didn't believe me the NHS wouldn't help and it really messed me up being "dumped" by her.

I appreciate your kindness, thank you.

Also I ended up posting on fb and some people crawled out the woodwork to be nice from distant lands.... although one was infuriating, insisting I need to go and get help. Why do people not listen to what I say? Why do they assume I haven't tried even though I can explain in detail years of attempts to get help? It ends up feeling like an academic thing, having to provide references and examples of the shittiness of services because my experiences are just swept aside as invalid. And then I'm still not believed! People have abandoned me in the past because they assume I'm lying, not trying hard enough, or refusing help. And it's horrible to be "othered" and have people insist you need pills/psychiatrists when actually I am a human being who would benefit from some TLC.

Apologies for that rant, needed to get that out.

Rave,
You are not alone. You have support here from total strangers. There are people here who will give of themselves because we all understand what mental illness feels like.

I know I am very very fortunate because when I broke and became a man in a dressing gown, my wife stood by me and gave me the space to sleep and recover. It is very scary to think you are alone. But people will listen and help you as best they can.

Oh OP, I totally empathise with you when you say some people are not listening etc (re your 'friend' on fb) When I had a breakdown 6 years ago, I felt like a limp puppet on a string (against my will) with certain people forcefully pulling on strings, moving me hither & thither without my consent. I wanted to cut the strings, be human & free again, to do things my way! Which I'm pleased to say I did eventually. I knew the kind of help I needed, just as you do now. The way people going through a mental health crisis are treated, the way personal agency is stolen, makes me so upset & cross!
Throughout history, people with interesting minds (that's what we have) have been treated dreadfully. In times past, anyone with an imagination was deemed mad, and locked up! It's awful, as though things have vastly improved, there's still a long way to go, and sadly there are still vestiges of old attitudes remaining. Makes me .
I'm glad other people on fb have been kind, and as Itisnoteasybeingdifferent said, you have support here. I think many of us commenting have had issues of our own, and so feel genuine empathy.
Just to give you hope, there's light at the end of the tunnel. I will always be a sensitive, and somewhat damaged, soul, but I'm now a functional sensitive, damaged soul. I find joy in life now, and the breakdown I suffered (which I honestly didn't think I'd survive) is now a distant memory. So hang on in there, things WILL get better for you soon, I promise. Take care, and know you're among friends here xx

Well things got so bad I ended up going to A&E a few nights ago. Was really bad there, could see how to kill myself in the cubicle before they would find me and had to go and stand by the nurses desk so I didn't. Being alone in A&E all night really hammers home how alone I am. I'm not a bad person, I don't purposely harm people, so why aren't I loved but people who do nasty things are? I phoned a sibling and felt even more like a waste of space. They haven't been in contact to see if I'm ok, which again just hammers home that Im a burden and not wanted. I don't understand why people say depression makes you feel these things when actually the evidence is they're true. I'm not depessed, am I? I'm just shit.

Eventually someone from the crisis team spoke to me on the phone in A&E and said they would refer me back to the CMHT. However they then started talking about short-term interventions to "cope", no trauma therapy for me. I just don't understand why othwrs get help and I don't. The therapist I saw privately didn't believe my awful experiences with the NHS.

I just wish I was one of the people who mattered.

PAIN.

Period.

Darn, why do I always forget what it does to my brain?

Normal service will resume forthwith.

Thanks for the support everyone

Sending even more love to you OP I'm so sorry to hear you've been through such a hellish time. It's awful when our own minds refuse to play ball, and to add to that we feel misunderstood by the people around us.

This may sound like a cliche, but I reckon that in time it'll make you stronger. I came to the conclusion some time back that only I can truly know the truth of 'me'. I was continually misunderstood, and it used to distress me terribly, and I needed to explain myself, but then I suddenly got tired of doing that, and thought 'what the heck!' I just decided to let people think whatever it pleases them to think, and I calmly rest in knowledge that I DO KNOW (me and my truth), which is the important thing.
I'm probably not making much sense, but hopefully it sort of helps.

I'm glad you posted again, as I was worried about you, and have been thinking of you, as I'm sure many of the other posters have.

It's flipping awful to be in the grips of a mental health crisis. Having been there myself, I know the sheer hell of those thoughts & feelings, and all that surrounds them. I sincerely hope you get the help you need soon. In the meantime, please cling to the knowledge that things will get better. This storm will pass, and the peace and quiet of the morning after the storm is waiting for you.

You matter. You're important. Keep posting on here as much as you want & need. You are among friends xxxxx

All to easy to forget. You are clearly using a puter of some sort..
Set up a 28 day reminder to tell yourself you will feel shitty tomorrow.

Suggest you speak to GP about using the pill to help stabilise your cycle. Sometimes it can work.

urgent anyone tehre, v triggerd post say im spinster worthless

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread BBCNewsRave , and we really hope things start to look up for you soon -

Its
Pill makes me have constant PMT. Its just the day before can be extra hard. did keep a diary for a bit but no pttern other than day before period

You're not worthless BBC. Just be gentle to yourself, the OP of the thread about Bridget Jones had her own things going on. She posted thoughtlessly with terminology but it's no reflection on you.

It shows I dont belong in this world though.

I wish I had "normal" problems, where there was help. Not weird ones that make people dislike me.

also keema, it makes no sense - i have just been epxetced to get on with it, and treated as if overreacting when goin through big life things, breakups, abuse, homelessnes etc, so why am i epxetced to sort of mentally sort myself out in those situations, even whn ive asked for help nicely, yet someone who begins by syaing how horrndous it is to be compared to a pathetic single over 30 (who isnt any of those things)is treated differently? Why isnt she treated like i was/am when bad things happen to me?
it seems like i am expetced to have empathy even when in such massive pain i can barely see straight, when i have been triggered and made to feel shit by the person in question ...... yet others are not held to anything like such high standards.

Why is the other poster allowed to say somethig so unplesant and grossly offensive and be excused because she's having a rough time, yet I am expected not to react to that, and no understanding for me?

It's not the only safe place you have, as you had a lot of handholding elsewhere this week too.

She didn't say anything grossly insensitive, it was the way you interpreted it. She was very kind and understanding to you on that thread, as we're other people, despite the de-rail.

I'm just asking you to take a breath and try and think outside your current bubble before posting so you don't hurt yourself or others.

if the poster had just said "im having a rough time because..." id have had buckets of empathy. But she started by writing off a bunch of people.
i dont gte why i am treated differntly and held to different standards. And unlike the poster i dont have a shitload of therpay to help me! I am expected to be greatful anyway. why am i told by all, including services to basiclaly just lump it and think positive, yet someone with such a warped vie that bridget jones is awful isnt treated with the same attitude and expected to change their own thoughts?

saying bridget jones is pathetic and son on is grossly offensive
so us sinlgew over 30s are pathetic?