I guess there is a pretty fine line between stress & depression, so how do you tell the difference?

[pinkchampagne]

I have suffered from PND, which felt a very out of control experience, and this is what I always assosiate with proper depression.
However, just recently (well, over a good few months), I have been really struggling with sleeping, having the odd panic attack, feeling very nagative about myself, and most of all, I have been really struggling with being a decent mother. I have episodes of shouting too much because I'm not coping & then feeling tearful straight after.

I have been under a fair amount of stress recently, and put most of these things down to that, but having had a bout of depression in the past, I am always a little cautious it may be returning.

How can you really tell if it is stress or depression setting in?

I am trying to avoid heavy ADs & convincing myself I can cope, but at times I am not so sure I'm doing such a good job myself.

I'm not sure what I can say but please don't try to struggle with this alone. I know (from MN) that you have friends who will help you out - can you have a few hours by yourself? I know it's not a permanent solution but maybe a little break would help?

You don't have to cope by yourself... if it were a physical problem, I am sure you would seek help.

Can you chat to your GP? Are you having counselling? Is there a reason you want to avoid ADs?

Please look after yourself.

I have been to the GP about this, but told him I was sure it was stress rather than depression & that I didn't think ADs were needed.
He prescribed me Dosulepin, which is an AD, but helps with anxiety & aids sleep.
I was only to take one an hour before bed, and I started with them, but once my sleeping settled a bit, I cut them down, because I didn't want to becaome reliant on them.
They were only a very low dose & I am reluctant to take anything stronger for fear of possible side effects & then later having problems coming off them.
I also like to think I am coping with things myself, and sometimes I do seem to plod along quite well. I am managing to get through each day at work ok (although sometimes I'm less with it than other times) & I can laugh & joke with colleagues & friends, but when I get back home it can all go wrong & everything hits me.
Bedtimes can be the worst because you have no other distractions & everything goes round & round in your head - hence sleep deprivation.
I do tend to turn to alcohol to calm me down at the end of the day, which I know is not good & can also make sleep patterns worse, but I have just as many problems getting to sleep at night when I haven't had a drink.

I am having counselling & have had it in the past, but because she is ultra busy atm, she can only see me 4-6 weekly right now. It is very helpful though.

Think it is just the stress of my marriage breakdown, the added upset it is causing to family members, the buying of a house & the worries I have with DS1. I think I am just feeling a bit overloaded atm!

Don't get that much time to myself, but when I do it helps.
The children seem to be constantly pushing me with their behaviour atm & I just don't feel on top of things at all.
I did speak to my HV about it the other week because I was worried, and she said that she felt I wasn't depressed because I seemed quite calm while talking to her, but was probably very stressed.
Would normally change my name for this kind of thread, but I am kind of running out of names!

Calmness when discussing your symptoms - that seems to me to be irrelevant. Many of us wouldn't open up and break down in front of a health professional. The symptoms you describe PC are related to some degree of depression. I find the following site useful, but i can't do links! Its netdoctor.co.uk, then look for the depression section and there's a topic called "take the test". Its based on Goldbergs test for assessing depression, used by gps and pyschiatrists. I've suffered from depression on a couple of occasions myself, and when very stressed can feel my mood and motivation levels dropping. That I think is what you are describing - try the link, and tell me what you think. And also, AD's aren't the only answer, although they certainly have their place. Let me know how you get on, all the best to you xx

In my personal experience, depression becomes obvious because it remains through good and bad experiences, whereas stress is relieved by enjoyable things. Also, I have a 'black' feeling in my stomach that seems to hold emotions down and stop me being able to release them.

Depression makes me feel like there is no point to living, even for ds, because everyone would be better off without me. It's that simple really. Non-stop 'what's the point?'

You sound like your situation would cause anyone stress, so take help if offered and make the most of friends and family. You don't need me to tell you to avoid the alcohol!

It's not surprising you're feeling stressed with so much going on. Whether it's stress or depression, I'd address it the same way at this stage. Speak to someone - do you have friends/family that can give you some help just looking after yourself and giving you some time to relax? Then see how you go. Like you say, you don't want to ruch into taking Ads straight away.

You say you normally change your name fo this kind of thread. Do you think you'll have a problem opening up to people you know about this? I've always been very open about my pnd with friends and colleagues and have found it a huge relief not to have to hide it.

Thank you for your messages - I will take a look at that website, THG, thanks.

I don't know why I change my name for deep threads. I guess I do find it hard to admit I am not coping as well as I should be & I don't want to be seen as some miserable moany kind.

I do appear to cope quite well to those around me - they rarely see this side of me.
I remember my dad (who doesn't believe in depression) saying to me "No one wants to be around a miserable person" & I guess it has kind of stuck with me.
I don't feel this way if my friends are unhappy - I want to help them - but I always try to stay as chirpy as possible around them. I also go out of my way not to cry in front of people, and that includes my counsellor!

I know what you mean. When I say I'm very open about it, I'm open in that I'll say in a very chirpy way "you know I was diagnosed with pnd last week!" but won't moan about it unless I need a really good cry but I tend to save that for DH. Just thought that maybe if they know, they'll know to look out for you.

When I suffered from PND it was definite depression. I wasn't functioning as I normally would & would burst into tears & not know why I was crying. It felt like someone had got a marker pen & scribbled all over my brain.
I was forced to take ADs for a short while to get me through that, and within a couple of months I was functioning much better & able to come off them.
Since then, I do panic a little if I feel my stress is starting to lead me back to that stage again. I think it is probably stress as a result of my circumstances, but when I lose it & feel tearful, churny & like I am struggling to stay on top of things, I do worry that the stress may be turning into a bit of depression.

The boys have gone to my parents house with their dad, so I have a little bit of time to myself now.

BTW, when I say I don't want to seen as some miserable moany kind, that doesn't mean I see others in this way, because I don't. If someone I know is upset & down, I worry about them & try to help them. I will also try to help people on here where I can, so I don't quite understand why I fear others thinking I am some old misery when I get down, but I do!
I am an odd sort!!

I do hope it's not. At least, if it is depression, you've recognised the early warning signs so know to look after yourself.

How did you find coming off ADs? I've been on them for 4 months and feel ready to come off...will talk to my gp about it but would be interested to know how you found it.

I was only on a low dose of Citalopram (think that is how it was spelt!) & was only on them for 3 or 4 months, so didn't have many problems at all when I came off them.
You have to cut your dosage down slowly before stopping them altogether.

Glad to hear you are feeling ready to come off your ADs.

Pinkchampagne (this'll sound wierd and stalker-ish but I think I know a bit more about your situation from other threads but, with that in mind...)

You are doing a wonderful job. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to continue along as normal and convince everyone else (as well as yourself) that you are coping, and that is admirable BUT don't get too caught up in it... if you need help, it really is ok. If you do have depression, it isn't the worst thing in the world. That sounds flippant but what I mean is that it is very common, you aren't alone (although you feel it) and, although it is awful when you have it, things can and do get better. It is a very hard thing to get through, almost impossible at times...

Pretending to be ok is quite exhausting. When the kids are in bed and you are alone, it can be hard to control your thoughts - mine whizz around, making me feel more confused than I already am and being alone for too long isn't a good idea.

I'm glad the counselling is going well... I wonder if you could ask to be seen more frequently, just while you are feeling overwhelmed. My sessions are weekly and tbh, sometimes that is what gets me through the week.

You don't need me to tell you that drinking isn't going to help (and who am I to talk, anyway?! )

I'm having an unexplained 'good' day today, which is why I can talk about depression the way I have. Had I written this yesterday, it would have been full of doom and gloom! The cliches are true - take it one day at a time, one hour if you need to. Things will be ok...

There are some positive stories on here and I know you have some support in RL, if not quite as much as you would really like & need. I wish I could be more helpful.

Take Care of yourself - your boys need you.

x

Not stalker-ish at all, mamama - I guess it's pretty easy to work out who I was, and I did talk to you quite a lot! I have had to stop posting under that name now, and cannot keep thinking up new ones atm! How are things with you? Have things calmed down at all?
I didn't realise you were struggling with depression.

Not sure what's going on with me tbh. All is moving on at long last, but I am suddenly feeling a little overloaded & can get very down & tearful.
It's all been going on for so long now & now things are finally moving, I am starting to struggle a bit.
I also have a lot of worries with DS1 & I think it's all getting a bit too much!

Don't think I can do much about the space of time between counselling sessions, as they are done at my surgery & she is very busy atm.

Functioned ok at work today & felt quite with it, so have come to the conclusion that I am suffering stress due to circumstances rather than depression.
Spoke to the SENCO regarding DS1 & she is going to arrange for him to be referred for a developmental check.
Children have been behaving awfully since I returned home & I just can't cope with it all. How the heck am I going to get by on my own?

How are you doing Pinkchampagne? Hope you're OK. You are stronger than you think xx

God your symptoms sound really similar to what I have been going through for the last couple of months. Am ok at work and when busy doing 'fun' stuff, but feel really stressed and anxious when I am doing not very much, ie at home with my dd or with my family.

I feel that stressful life circumstances are the cause, rather than a chemical imbalance (if you get what i mean) so am reluctant to take ADS.

In the last week I have finally felt it lifting-- I have had a few sessions of counselling which I think helps, my counsellor tells me that supressing feelings causes anxiety and I am trying to be more honest and straightforward with people ( I have a tendency to sweep things under the carpet and pretend things are okay when they are not).

Other than counselling, the other things that help are exercise, red wine ( try not to have more thatn 2 glasses a night though) and booking a holiday-- having something to look forward to really helps.

I hope your stressed feelings pass too

Thanks. BJ, your feelings sound very similar to mine.

You can't tell the diference. If you try ad's (no idea what heavy ones are) and they don't work then you know it's pure stress - but stress leads to depression. Please, just do it.

PC, Im around if you need to MSN

How are you PC?

Things any better? Hope so.

You said 'all is moving on' - I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but from my own experience of all this (which, as you know, isn't dissimilar to yours) I can imagine. I find I tend to get far worse when 'something' happens. Now I have a time-frame in mind and an end is in sight, I am terrified and subsequently my mood and whole life seems to have taken a turn for the worse... sound familiar?

{hug}

Yes sounds very familiar, mamama!
Went out for a drink with a friend last night, which did me good.
Hoping today is a better one. I do try hard to stay on top of things, but I feel a bit overloaded atm.

Monkeytrousers - I was on Dosulpin for my sleep problems, but they were a very low dose & I only took them before I went to bed.
I am someone who likes to try & stay in control, so I like to try & do without ADs unless they are really needed.
I guess I was of the thinking that you only need to take ADs if you are suffering from depression & I am not sure whether I am just suffering stress because of all that is going on.
I worry about becoming reliant on ADs & not being able to wean myself of them.
I tried Kalms, but didn't notice much difference after taking them.
If things don't get any better with me, I will go back to my GP.

mamama - I hope you're ok.

Hiya, I'm ok - struggling a bit but muddling through. I know what you mean about wanting to cope without any help - I'm a bit like that - far too independent & stubborn for my own good!

But please, don't make things harder for yourself. You have a lot to deal with and it's ok to ask for a bit of help. And, if you have to take them, you won't become reliant on ADs.

I'm so glad you went out for a drink - would like just what you needed.

Sorry to hear you are struggling a bit, mamama. Are you taking ADs atm?

If things do get too much, I will go back to the GP. It's horrible feeling so low & stressed isn't it?

I do try & keep on top of things, and sometimes I feel I am coping just fine - almost too fine if that makes sense. But I think I don't allow my head to absorb everything properly & when it all does hit me, I get overloaded with it all & lose the plot!

I have had a few too many low moments just recently & this is why I started to worry about depression setting in.
Hopefully I will be able to lift myself out of it, but if I can't, I will consider ADs.