I guess there is a pretty fine line between stress & depression, so how do you tell the difference?

[pinkchampagne]

I have suffered from PND, which felt a very out of control experience, and this is what I always assosiate with proper depression.
However, just recently (well, over a good few months), I have been really struggling with sleeping, having the odd panic attack, feeling very nagative about myself, and most of all, I have been really struggling with being a decent mother. I have episodes of shouting too much because I'm not coping & then feeling tearful straight after.

I have been under a fair amount of stress recently, and put most of these things down to that, but having had a bout of depression in the past, I am always a little cautious it may be returning.

How can you really tell if it is stress or depression setting in?

I am trying to avoid heavy ADs & convincing myself I can cope, but at times I am not so sure I'm doing such a good job myself.

That all sounds really stressful. But, on the bright side, you have a whole new life to look forward to, a new home where you can make all the decisions.

Do you have close family members (parents, sisters, brothers) who are supportive about the worries you have over your son?

Yes I know, Anna, and I do feel quite positive about my house, but I am very scared at the same time.

Family are very ante DS getting a label, so do not feel he should be assessed.
I had a major row with my dad about DS's difficulties, just before Christmas.

That's really bad luck if your family aren't totally behind you on your son. But it sounds to me like fear and ignorance rather than bad feeling - in what way does avoiding the diagnosis mean you don't have the disease? Would your father feel that way if you (say) found a breast lump? Would he want you to not go to the doctor in case you found out it was cancerous? Basically your father wants his grandson to be OK, which is totally healthy and loving. He is frightened for him too. Maybe if you wrote those feelings down you could win him round? Because it sounds to me that you could really benefit from family support on this. Maybe a counsellor could help you with the wording of a letter?

Feel free to tell me to shut up if I'm getting too personal.

They tell me I must protect him from getting labelled & tbh I don't think I will be able to do much to make them come round to the idea. My dad thinks a lot of conditions are just nonsence!
I must admit, I was in denial myself for a long time too, but I realise now that DS does need some kind of extra help & nothing will happen until he has been assessed properly.
Anyway, I won't go on about all that too much on here, but the worries involving DS, on top of the stress with the breakdown of my marriage is what tips me over the edge at times.
I am doing a lot better this week than I was last week though.

Hmm, difficult, they obviously are in deep denial about the problem. Is there anyone else close to you and your son (someone who loves you both) who is not in denial and who you could lean on a bit for support? Or is there perhaps a local support group that you could use?

My partner comes from a family absolutely steeped in denial (his brother died of AIDS, family totally in denial about his homosexuality, couldn't help him come to terms with himself (so he could take care of himself) as he was growing up and still can't talk about it...) and I often have a hard time getting my partner to admit to difficulties and anxieties, even after such a terrible experience. But I do go on and on and on (as gently as possible) until things get sorted... we still have some way to go though.

Sorry to hear about your partner & his brother, Anna.

The only other person who is behind me in what I am doing & loves my son, is his father.

PC - it was a long time ago, I just wanted to illustrate that I know something about denial and the devastation it can wreak on families, and that I do believe in trying different routes to try and get people to see the light about situations that affect them and those they love.

Do you and your son's father at least manage to get along on this issue?

H agrees that we need to do something to help DS, and does back up what I'm doing.

Sometimes H & myself get on ok - we have had to try & make things as amicable as possible, as we have to live together atm & don't want to make it anymore unpleasant for ourselves or for our children.
It hasn't been the easiest of times though, that's for sure!