Depressed or just bored and fed up?

[p123]

Hi this is my first post, I need some advice but don't know where to turn.

Basically I have a brilliant H a delightful 2year old and a nice home. However I feel completely down or I did a few weeks ago. I went to the GP who gave me some Prozac. My H thinks they are working as my mood is lighter BUT I?m not sure if I was depressed in the first place or just in a fed up mood for a while.

I have had a rough time since I got pregnant and had a missed miscarriage before that after tying for three years. I had hyperemisis all the way through (and Was hospitalised) and was forced to leave my job. Also during the pregnancy I suffered acute pancretitis and nearly died.

The birth that was supposed to be an at home water birth ended up as an emergency caesarean after I was 3 weeks over due. Then my daughter was born with the cord wrapped around her neck.

Since then I have had my gall bladder removed, problems with my caesarean scar and celulitis in my arm and hand and am currently not able top eat much or yawn as my Jaw has seized due to stress.

My one Vice has always been drinking wine every night (for the past 10 years). But I am too ashamed to tell the doctor this. But am secretly worrying that it has given me these health issues although the doctor tells me I have just been extremely unlucky.

I feel like I have woken up one morning looked at my life and thought my god why me and since then I feel like my way of doing things my daily routines etc are boring and or wrong i.e. not what other people do.

Has any one been through anything similar situation? My Husband works shifts, I have always been a loner so no real friends, I don't drive either so feel really stuck.

ANY ADVICE, TIPS, ROUTINES TO SHARE etc.

Bumping and sending hugs. Somebody useful will come along soon but in the meantime, I think you seem to be beating yourself up a bit about things.

The birth may not have been how you planned, but resulted in a lovely, healthy daughter; so don't worry at all about the fact that you didn't get the home birth you'd wanted - the outcome is by far more important than the process in this instance!

Don't compare yourself to others either, if at all possible. We are all just trying to do the best for ourselves and our families and weighing ourselves up will always make us feel as if we are somehow less than others - really not true; you will be doing so many things every day that prove you are a great mum - remind yourself of them!

Friends - you'll find plenty on here!

The drinking is the main thing in your post that concerned me. This is the thing that you need to talk to the doc about I think. In any case, I'm sure that you won't want to be drinking AND taking Prozak. Do try to be brave and go back and see him again.

Hope you get plenty more posts from people with more helpful ideas than mine but didn't want you to feel alone. x

Cut down on the booze
Do some exercise
Get a p/t job or involve yourself in thecommunity in some way.
Throw away the medication.

I can relate to the drinking thing. Have been drinking up to a bottle of red pretty much every night for the last few years - escaping the problems I suppose- but am the same as you, too embarassed to tell GP. Howver am worried that I am causing myself serious damage. Do you feel that you're depressed? How old is your dd? Do you have any friends locally? What do you feel is wrong with your routines?

I haven't been through anything like this, but I couldn't let the post pass by without offering some support (I hope).
I can only offer you help from my own experience.
I went to the doctors and said I was feeling a bit crap and couldn't shake it off. He immediately prescribed me prozac. I wanted some more practical advice, I think, even a referral to someone to talk to. What do you think would really help you? My HV was far more helpful and practical.
What are your daily routines? Where do you think they don't work? Are you a SAHM? It IS boring this job, make no mistake!
My DH works away alot so I'm often on my own, especially on weekends when everyone else has family times. It feels quiet isolated.
Do you look after yourself, eat well, exercise, how much do you drink? Is it excessive? Sorry for all the questions, but I'll help if i can. If you want.

Thankyou Yes i am a SAHM ,but i am a "childcare expert" so i don't want anything on my GP srecords.

I dink over a bottle of wine a night but don't think im addicted as i didn't drink anything two nights last week.

I walk every where so exersice ok and am a vegetarian and we don't eat reay meals or convinence foods ,D is allergic to eggs too so we are very careful about what we eat.

Went to Gp today and she wants me to stay on tabs fo r6 months i said i would try three.

Tried to say i was worried about the wine but she just said we all do it.

I just feel so all alone i have been with H for 16 years amd he is ever so supportive but has a tough job and i feel like i am bringing us all down.Although from the outside nobody would suspect.

I don't really know what i feel is wrong with my routines.Yesterday woke up when D woke up at 7.30 feeling sick(appartently the tabs should ease off).Waited to see if she would go back to sleep .
H at work otherwise he gets up with her and i try to go back to sleep.( I have always liked my sleep but don't drop off that easily with out drinking)These tabs seem to be helping me sleep at least well most of the time.
Brought D in to my bed for a cuddle as always.
Got up at 8.30 dressed and breakfasted D.Cleared up.
she played in her room (next to bath room )and i had a bath and got sorted.
D had snck.
did washing used PC whilst D played next to me.Took her out on her bike for 30 mins.
Back for lunch,tidy up more washing ,Dishwasher etc.
She had a nap i had some lunch watched the news.
D up and had a snack played in her room.I pottered an though about posting on Mums net.
H home D Tea.went to Drs,all went out for coffee and to travel agents to get brochures.
Home H bathed a got D ready for bed i looked at holidays.we all read stories.Made dinner sat in front of tv at 8pm 10 pm i had a bath .Argued with H re i feel fed up.He went to sleep i came down finished wine Felt sad and went to sleep.

My suggestions:

Would suggest you take ds to some sort of class like 'gym joeys' (but not sure what age they start)- children are organsied into little groups doing simple actrivities, you go round with him, so you do not have to sit down trying to talk to other mums like at playgroup - but you and your ds are meeting other people and get out of hte house.

keep going with the prozac, try and get some CBT to help you find more positive ways of thinking, and also try to drink less

Hi, I can totally relate to your dilema. I've got a lovely 2 year old son and a 3 month old daughter, I too drink up to a bottle of wine every night and am a loner. My husband works 6 days a week and I just feel so helpless. I'm seeing my doctor today because im constantly in tears and feel a failure as a mother. One thing I am going to do is join a gym as I've just found out they have a creche, exercise is supposed to help depression apparently. I just need to be a better mother, my son is picking up on my depression and is acting up as a result.

Morning. How are you feeling today?
Don't actually think theres anything wrong with your routine - infact, you are doing an awful lot of things right. Its not too dissimilar to mine.
God, its boring huh?! Are you bored? Do you need more in your life?
Twice a week I go to the gym. DD started nursery 2 mornings a week yesterday so thats my gym time, beforehand she'd go in the creche for a couple of hours. On weekends (when DP is usually working and the rest of the world are off busy doing family activites...) I take the 2 boys too and they go in the creche. We are all happy and I don't go mad.
I think your GP is a bit out of order saying about the wine. The fact is if it bothers you, she shouldn't be brushing it under the carpet. Do you have a HV you can talk to? Alcohol itself is a depressive, so I am a bit surprised that she's dishing out the anti-depressents but not advising you on your alcohol intake. Not saying you shouldn't have them, but I feel that other avenues should be explored before drugs are prescribed.
Toddler groups can be painful, and you really have to push yourself forward sometimes otherwise parents talk amongst themselves. Try talking to the organiser and introduce yourself, maybe they will introduce you to some of the others? Seems so daunting thought.
How would you feel about not drinking for a week?

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This is really helpful and i am begining to think that i am just bored.I have had so many hospital appts etc since i got pregnant 27 in the last 12 months.This has meant i have been on so many antibiotics ,pain killers etc.This became 'normal'.now they are lessening i have all of this time to fill and don't know where to start.I am also not good at meeting new people.

My H tries but has a stressful job and just wants our lives back....

I have always worked in childcare so it was taken for red that i would be a stay at home mum and not pay for someone to do my job as it were.

I now feel like i am doing my paid job 24hours but not getting paid for it.

I basically went into work one day in early pregnancy.nearly collapased came home and because they wouldn't cut my hours i had to leave.

Since then due to all the health stuff i have not worked since.It feels like my life was taken away from me that afternoon and i had no say in it.

I kend to keep all this stuff to myself as we are very private people.

Rambling again!I will look at the recomended site and am not drinking tonight i over analaysle everything so all of this stuff is going wrong and round in my head.

What do you do all day? do you have a routine for house work/ shopping/ meals etc.

Thanks for all your help and sorry for rambling it is really good for me to let this out .Right lunch now then out for a walk got to go to the nurse for a blood test ,they think my iron might be low now as sore jaw has made eating really tricky!

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I have to confess I have a cleaner, so tend not to worry about housework. Sounds a bit poncy, its not meant to, but if I did it myself I'd never get the paint out and I'd be forever uptight. At least now I can be slovenly. We aren't well off, but frankly I don't go out (would rather have no social life than lose what help I have) and DP does no housework (thats why he pays, or I'd be on at him too - and he knows it). Also I do my shopping online, which helps enormously. I have 3 (5, 4 and 2) and no. 4 coming in June.
I'm forever having playmates to lunch or dinner so kids are occupied and I can sit on here or read the paper!
I'm surprised that your employers weren't more sympathetic. Do you think you have a case for constructive dismissal? Their lack of help would have not helped your physical or emotional state and would have been extremely stressful.
Oh, and have you tried St Johns Wort?
Lordy, in the time I've written this DD has found some red paint. Looks like shes appeared in a horror movie!

"never get the paint out"??? What on earth am i on about? sorry, utter nonsense.

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my only vice these days!

my little one is two ,i did start a case against my employers with a union but as i was pregnant at the time it all got too much.So i dropped it ,i really regret it now though.

don't underestimate how something like that can make you feel crap.
BTW sorry if I sound like an arse re 'only vice' . its circumstance, rather than choice!!

Also don't underestimate how much angst you can build up over a difficult birth. It was only when I had DS2 that I realised how much stress I had been holding in after DS1 traumatic birth. DS2's birth "healed" me IYSWIM.

How did you make the dicission to go though another pregnancy?I have always wanted more children.But don't want to go through the same truama again my H is also reaaly scared that something will go dramatically wrong a next time.

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I looked at the site really hard going.it certainly showed me how it can effect people.Maybe even me

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i am feeling okay today it has been really good to allow myself this time t think about what might actually be going on rather than reling on my doctor to work it out.Or just ignoring things

Good morning feeling good today didn't drink last night and didn't really miss it.Found sleeping hard though but persevered and was up at 7.30 to wake D instead of her waking me up.

Housework day today and am half way though cleaning the whole house.

have arranged to go out shopping later with D and my though so i don't stay in all day.

I've lost weight lately -'Great' but now none of my clothes fit'bad' amd clothes shopping when you actually need to try stuff on with a two year old is difficult at times.

Any way what are you all up to today.

decided not to drink again tonight either.