Anyone with experience of borderline personality disorder?

[officiallycrazy]

I've just been diagnosed with it and am scared...

Have the same thread in health . Wasn't sure where to post this.

Anyone?

Please.

Thanks, muminfife. I did look at the mind website, thank you. I really need a bit of moral support.

Everything seems a bit pointless now. I think that's why I'm scared - I thought I was just unhappy & depressed and now it seems as if there is more to it than that - something that isn't curable as such. I just wanted to be told I'll get better.

BPD is a catch-all diagnosis. As I understand it it describes people who often through inadequate mirroring or worse when infants (roots are usually pre-verbal) have difficulty maintaining secure relationships and regulating their emotions. Most specifically desperately struggling against a feeling that they might be abandoned.

BPD is pretty prevalent, we all know someone that could be classified as BPD. Long term psychotherapy can be very effective, but long term as in years not months.

Don't be frightened. This like all psychiatric diagnoses is a label by which a range of symptoms can be rolled together and identified by mental health professionals.

Imo, it is certainly NOT incurable. But like I say, the best results seem to have come from longterm therapy, and accessing this is difficult if you do not have enough money.

Don't be upset by what is a label and also someone's opinion, many psychiatrists hesitate to diagnose bpd or any other pd for fear of people becoming more unwell....
See your gp for refferal for counselling, also MIND website may have link for local support group,
I would also try for a second opinion aswell.......

second MTP in terms of it being an opinion too.

sorry MTC! Not MTP

Thanks so much for your responses. I am really very grateful. I feel very alone atm.

I might look into that book, muminfife. I don't feel much like reading and my mind is whirling, but I think it may help to have something to focus on. What you said about being so desperate to convince the health professionals you were coping that you weren't very honest about your feelings really struck a chord. Having read up on the symptoms of bpd, I think I may have more traits than I realised but am very embarrassed to admit it. I just want everyone to think I'm ok because I want to be ok. Depression is one thing, but having a flawed personality is another

Your situation was awful, muminfife, I'm so sorry. I haven't been through anything as horrific as that so I really shouldn't complain. I'm glad things are better for you now. {{hugs}}

I hope you're right Sophable - that this is not incurable. I just want to be a normal person. I feel like I now have a label on my head saying 'mental'. I know I look the same from the outside and my friends have no idea about this but I feel like I am no longer an ordinary member of the public - I have a personality disorder and that makes me a bit of a freak. A liability...

I don't think I can go through with getting another opinion at the moment but maybe I should. This has been really hard to take - just as my life was falling apart, I was told this and now have nowhere to turn. I am worried that DS will be like this too and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can cope with being unhappy but being suicidal is horrible.

Sorry, I'm waffling. I am having therapy but don't have anyone in RL to talk to so it helps to get my thoughts out on here.

Thanks so much for listening.

Hi, hope you are feeling abit less anxious...no expert on these matters but one of my family is a very experienced psychiatric nurse, he tells me that most people have a borderline personality disorder of one degree or another, he told me i had a very slight personality disorder! I was furious and felt quite offended, however, it makes me who i am, and i like me.
Also if it makes you feel anybetter a mate of mine is a very good GP,...also once told she had borderline behaviour disorder!
Can;t all be perfect.

Yes, I was diagnosed 18 months ago. It really threw me but explained much. A shock & a relief but also a label. No-one knows except psych, dh, parents. Neither my siblings nor my friends.

My psych said pretty much the same thing, alcyone - that it is not uncommon and that lots of very high functioning people have it. You're right, we can't all be perfect but to be told your personality isn't 'normal' is so hard to take. I am sure many people can get through life perfectly well with this but I don't see that happening to me.

Allcoveredup (I'm guessing you are a regular), how do you cope with it? Do you get any help? Are things any better?

I get lots of help, thank God. I've been prone to the black dog all my life; diagnosed with chronic depression as a teen, 8 years of psychoanalysis, countless years of psychotherapy and lots of meds. It's been better with my current therapist (been seeing him for 10 yrs) & since my life has stabilised with getting married & having dc.

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Officiallycrazy, hope you don't think iwas being flippant in my last post,apologies if this is the case. I realise that this is a really hard time.......crap,now i sound patronising....best wishes,thats all

My friend is considered to have a personality defect. She is my friend and nothing else!! You will be fine. I am so very proud of her, her and her two children are coming to stay with me at Easter. I can't wait. She is a musician first and foremost and she can be who she is when with me. Does this relate?

danae: 'other mums who effortlessly just seem always to be happy and laid back with their babies.'

Don't believe the hype darling, they DO NOT exist...in fact mistrust deeply anyone that gives the impression that that always seem to be happy and laid back full stop, let alone with babies!!!

I've also yet to meet anyone that wouldn't fall under some category of psychiatric diagnosis...we're all on that continuum, and again, those that appear least 'dysfunctional' can be the most ime.

these are not defects in people. I feel it is inappropriate to look at it this way. Would you call someone that was beaten as a child and therefore fearful of violence 'defective'. It's not a useful way of looking at it.

Hi officially crazy - I have worked professionally with people who have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder - and it really is not all bad news ... although the "label" is not a particularly pleasant one and many "borderline" patients have campaigned to have a better was of describing their issues !

The good news is that people experiencing the problems that you would need to have to get this diagnosis CAN and DO make positive changes to their lives. As others have said, it often stems from an experience poor/inconsistent parenting as a child. Understanding this and learning new strategies to cope in/with relationships can really improve things.

There is a specific type of therapy called Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) that works really well with BPD, and it is time bound - so doesn't go on for years and years.It links childhood expereinces with current behaviours and helps you see patterns that can be altered. There is also a therapeutic community in Sutton called the Henderson Hospital which is a fantastic place which has helped many people with this diagnosis. It is normally a year committment , which is virtually impossible with kids - but they do produce interesting literature and run an outreach service I believe.

Hope this rambling message is of some help !

ohhh, yes CAT has had very good success with BPD...sorry! They offer it at Guys in London too don't they?

Yes sophable they do - the training centre is based there. Lots of good books by Tony Ryle about it - he "invented" it !

hhhmmmmmmmmmmm.... i only saw the other thread first! i posted on that. here is what i posted, below. havent read all of this thread but am going to now....
please dont feel crazy. I was diagnosed with having a mix of borderline/+ other personality disorder about 5 years ago now. At first it was a very frightening thing to be told, but to be honest, like someone else said i think, the medics use it more as a diagnosis tool. I researched it like mad on the internet at first, but although i fitted the type on some things (prolific self harm, low self esteem, probs with relationships) other stuff was way off the mark.
There are sites you can go to for support, but be aware of these....i found they can "draw you in" and not necessarily help.
dont be scared....you are still "you" at the end of the day, label or not.
if you would like to chat anytime just let me know and i will leave my email addy for you.
Take care of yourself x x

by the way, since diagnosis and various sorts of help, im now married, settled, and continue to go out to work, its just that i need more support in some areas of my life.
hth.

Hi officiallycrazy
Please don't feel scared of your diagnosis... though I understand why you do. I am also officially crazy. Diagnosed variously with longterm unipolar depression or 'bipolar II' depresssion (manic without the highs) depending on whom I see. The diagnosis was 10 years ago now (& came as a relief, I thought I was just a useless social failure) and I no longer see myself as 'ill' (except on really bad days...) just as someone dealing with specific problems that happen to have a certain name, depending on who is looking at me. Depression is a big part of my life and of me, dealing with it is my challenge.

My mother had BPD. I am pretty sure she wouldn't be diagnosed with it now; although she and I will never get on, I have to acknowledge that she doesn't exhibit the same symptoms that she did. She never took antidepressants but was in therapy for 15-20 years and no longer experiences the same levels of acute anxiety or rage. So you and your life are very likely to change if you have the opportunity and support to take action- I hope you are being offered therapy/treatment?