Downward spiral.

[BeAwareOfTheBear]

I'm not sure if this is more suited to the MH board but I can't seem to get the 'new topic' link to work on there :/

I'm in a massive downward spiral. I have severe depression and anxiety (medicated, no other input from services). All I think about is hurting myself and how much I don't want to be here.

No children to worry about, no-one who's really all that bothered about whether I'm here or not tbh. I can't sleep. I spend so much time lying on the floor just.. existing. It took me an hour to work up the effort to log-in on my laptop this morning, I just stared at the stock photo on the log-in screen and couldn't think of a reason to do anything else.

I am so tired and so done with everything being so hard. No idea why I'm posting, other than to ask for a virtual hug or a kick up the arse to sort myself out?

You've done really well Bear I'm still pinned down but I have written it down to remind me to clean teeth. That's another thing I struggle with my memory! I just doze too, I can't switch things off just keep going over my past in my head.
My cats are good very easy going, I lost an older one in May and my dearest dog in July (think it might have kicked this off) In my 'previous' life I had lots of animals but I couldn't cope with them all now. I've never been able to keep house plants alive, thank god for fake ones eh 😃