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Mental health

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Original poster

I've looked for a differnet topic to put this in because I don't want to be here but I am feeling sad so it's got to go here.......

50 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 08/02/2007 20:30

I'm so pathetic.

Dh is going away this weekend, taking ds1+2 with him. Ds3 was going to go too but we decided for him to stay here with me and Ds4 instead.

anyway, Dh wants to take ds3 now and I don't wnat him to go be because I don't want to be here alone with ds4.

I'll be lonely here all weekend with just ds4 for company so I want Ds3 to stay here with me.
Yes, it'll be lovely having a some peace and quiet but I just don't wantto be here alone.

There no-one I can visit wothout driving for over an hour which isn't a good idea when I'm up half the night with a 3 week old.
I know I won't sleep well while they're away because I'll worry about what they're doing. I won't be able to catch up on sleep during the day either for the same reason....

Bloody hell, my life really does evolve around the kids and Dh and if they're not here I have nothing at all to do.

How pathetic is that??

OP posts:

misdee · 08/02/2007 20:32

as pathetic as me the other day, when i home alone with dd3, and it struck me that i have no friends close by except personal clown to call in on.

Nemo2007 · 08/02/2007 20:32

not pathetic at all I would be the same. In theory would love the idea and probably b**ch a little I dont get time etc but when it comes down to it I would hate it.

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 20:33

Have you got some friends that you could visit/invite round?

PandaG · 08/02/2007 20:35

This is not pathetic LTH. YOu have only just had your 4th child, and it is not surprising that the majority of your time centres around your family. My 2 are 4 and 7, and are going to my Ps fo rthe week next week, amnd I too shall be lost without them.

Can you go out and have a bit of you time this weekend? Have your hair cut or something similar, pamper yourself a bit?

Maybe just sit and put your feed up, feed DS4 and read a good book all day? Can someone come to you for coffee, if underrstandably you don't feel like driving.

We're here too if you are feeling lonely.

May I give you a (((((hug)))))?

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 08/02/2007 20:36

Typing this out has made it feel even worse because I have't got anyone to say it too....

My social life really is inside this fucking computer...I love you all but bloody hell, its crap.

OP posts:

malaleche · 08/02/2007 20:39

Know what you mean about the social life being inside the computer! Havent you got any friends or relis you could invite over for the weekend?

misdee · 08/02/2007 20:39

LTH just think, you can grab the nappy bag and go out. no rushing little ds' to ge their coats hats gloves etc on. you can stroll leisurely around, go for walks, eat when you want not be rushed for meals by 'muuuum i'm hungry'. you might even get to pee in peace (i dont get that luxery lol).

This weekend could be a wonderful break for you with just ds4 to concentrate on. I'm sure you will enjoy it, but its that fear and niggles before it happens that is bugging you now.

WanderingTrolley · 08/02/2007 20:40

I don't think you're pathetic at all.

With four kids, you will go from a chaotic, noisy household to a near silent one. (unless your boys are a hushed order of monks)

That's a huge change.

And I have come to learn that one is never too old to want company of the un-nappied kind.

Who can visit you, can you get a train/bus anywhere, can you get a lift/taxi?

PandaG · 08/02/2007 20:41

OK LTH, where are you? Would you be prepared to put a shout out for someone to come round and visit who lives nearby?

This is more than DH taking the boys away forthe weekend isn't it?

Where do you go to meet people? NOt far I would imagine at the moment, but do you do the toddler groups, preschool run etc.? Places where you might be able to strike up a friendship? Oh that sounds so patronising, I do not mean it to , just that you always come over as so lovely in your posts, and I want to help.

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2007 20:42

LTH, I don't quite know where you'd have found the time and energy to have loads of friends given that you have FOUR children. If it's any consolation a LOT of my friends are here too because a)they're fab obviously b) I can dip in and out, no effort or leaving the house because frankly there are days when I can't be arsed c)they're lower maintenance, see above and d) I meet a more diverse bunch here than I have the time, energy or inclination to do irl.
Hell, I don't know anyone that close to me either and you're similarly new to your area aren't you? Would you like to go and see anyone with just ds4 for the weekend?

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2007 20:42

And as you know I only have a poxy 2 children!

poppiesinaline · 08/02/2007 20:44

Where are they going?

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 08/02/2007 20:51

As mad as it sounds I would rather Dh go away alone and leave me here with all 4 Ds's all weekend....

I'll know where they are, what they're doing, what they're eating (or not as the case may be)That they're safe...etc etc etc.

FGS, I hate this. I hate that I'm sitting here in tears telling you all this bacuse I have no-one else to tell.

I feel like I'm turning into a lav/titania/any other mad Mner....

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2007 20:52

LTH you're not a loon
it's fine to tell us this stuff
it's fine to feel it
Can't you ask him to just not go?, it would be fair enough

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2007 20:53

Or can you ALL go?
Surely there's some middle ground other than you feeling upset at the thought of impending loneliness?

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 08/02/2007 20:54

Its not really something that can be cancelled.

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 08/02/2007 20:55

not really enough room for me and TBH I wou;dn't really wantto go where they're going (long story...not for Mn)

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misdee · 08/02/2007 20:56

can you go with them, or stay with someone else?

moondog · 08/02/2007 20:57

When I had just had my second,it was very important to me to have them both with me.

It's not mad.

nutcracker · 08/02/2007 20:58

Your not mad LTH, far from it.

I am always going on about never getting any time on my own without the kids but then I hate it if they are all out.

My mum can only have 2 of them at a time, and I am secretly thankful of that as I sit here with sod all to do on my own.

Dinosaur · 08/02/2007 21:00

I don't want to dismiss your feelings in the slightest - not at all.

But I just wanted to say that for various reasons that I won't bore you with, DH ended up taking DS1 and DS2 away on his own when DS3 was about three weeks old.

I didn't know what it would be like but in the end it was FAB. DS3 and I had the nicest, most indulgent time, vegging on the sofa, reading and watching old movies on Sky. When I could summon the energy, we went for a walk. I ate whatever I fancied, tidied up a little bit when he was asleep, and just put myself under no pressure at all. It has ended up being really, really memorable.

pinkchampagne · 08/02/2007 21:03

Sounds bliss, dino!

lucy5 · 08/02/2007 21:03

Lth you have to remind yourself you have only recently had a baby and hormones put a whole different slant on things. Isn't there a mumsnetter near you, that you could go and have a coffee with?

lucykate · 08/02/2007 21:07

no, its not silly to be down about this, especially 3 weeks after giving birth, it is usually about this time the baby blues set in. if they all do go, use friday to put things in place so you can enjoy the weekend too, send dh out to get you some nice food, cake and chocolate, magazines (not parent or baby ones) and a new dvd (one with a fit bloke in) to watch so you've got something to look forward to.

laze in the bath, paint your toe nails, you should be able to see them now the bump has gone , have a duvet day. is there anyone you could invite round for lunch, when my dh is away, i always invite a small group of friends round for a special lunch, you could try and post on all 60 threads in active conversations

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 09/02/2007 14:40

Dh is taking all 3 Ds's.

Just me and george here for the weekend.....I wish I had even the faintest idea how I;m going to fill the time.

I feel like I need a good slap!

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