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Original poster

Please help. Where can we get help for our son.

84 replies

ihatethecold · 15/08/2016 18:10

My son is currently talking to objects in the house like they are real.
He thinks his step mum has had a baby and he will talk to it in the pushchair.
(She is due this week but she clearly hasn't given birth yet)
He lives with her and his dad.
He was a risk suicide until recently and was hospitalised 4 times due to attempts on his life.
He is now on quitiapin and Duloxitine to help stablelise him.
He has a bad cannabis habit that is getting worse.
I also think he's using amphetamine type drugs because he hasn't slept since Friday night.
He was discharged from the crisis team about 6 weeks ago and he only has the GP to help him.
His step mum took him today because of the hallucinations and they said it's not a psychotic episode and to take one of his prescription medications and to sleep.
We don't know where to turn anymore.
We called the crisis team and they said to call the police!

OP posts:
Willberry · 21/08/2016 19:40

Gamerchick, not necessarily. When my DH was at his most unwell he wouldn't have anything to do with me as he thought that I was harming him and his family. He ended up homeless, home treatment team helped him get housibg in the long term but he was oncthe streets for a few nights before council got him into a b&b. Also as he's my husband I could not legally refuse for him to be discharged to our home as he has as much right to be there as me (not that I've ever wanted to do this).

OP not suprised you are struggling, its such a horrible thing to go through and just as bad for family members. I agree with that following the crisis they don't seem to remember/acknowledge what you have been through too. Having said that DH does carry a lot of guilt for the stress I've been through and tries to make it up to me, but I don't know if he even rememberscthe worst bits or realises what I actually go through. I'm still reeling from the last crisis a couple of months ago and anxiety levels are still quite high.

Be kind to yourself, take time to do things for you and allow youself time. Hopefully he will get back on track, and they can get his meds better ballanced. I would still push for crisis team to refer on to early intervention in psychosis team if possible as they have really helped DH in taking charge of his condition, rebuilding his relationship with me and getting back into work, still working on self management and pacing and dealing with stress but been seeing him nearly 3 years now and he's made huge progress.

Original poster
ihatethecold · 21/08/2016 19:57

Thanks wilbury.
I'm glad to read you are all in a better place.
My dh took me into town for some lunch and a wander around today.
It was really lovely. Just what I needed.
I'm going to take the grandkids out tomorrow to get their school uniform and I'm hoping my ds will be with us so he can spend some with time with his kids.
That's the plan anyway!

OP posts:
Willberry · 21/08/2016 21:06

That sounds good :-) I hope you have a good day. How old are your GC?

Original poster
ihatethecold · 21/08/2016 23:00

6 & 7

OP posts:
erinaceus · 22/08/2016 06:19

Crikey Willberry you and your DH have been through a lot.] I am glad you are in a better place now.

ihatethecold I hope that you have a lovely day today Flowers

Willberry · 22/08/2016 18:07

Aww, lovely hope you had a great day.

yup erinaceus but we're still smiling ☺

Original poster
ihatethecold · 22/08/2016 21:23

I won't lie.
It wasn't a great day.
I just can't see and end to it. Sad

OP posts:
FruitCider · 22/08/2016 21:32

Hi OP, has your son ever been referred to Early Intervention team? IRIS guidelines (along with NICE) state that any presenting to GP worth symptoms of psychosis should be referred to EI. Ring the GP and ask for that referral! It's appalling the GP has left him in this state without CMHT input actually.

dangermouseisace · 22/08/2016 21:33

is your son with you at the moment ihatethecold?

NanaNina · 23/08/2016 00:09

Is your ds having any support to get off the drugs he is using (not prescription ones obviously) but there are different sorts of cannabis (skunk is one of them) and far more potent and dangerous than cannabis. I think you said he was using other drugs too, and in someone with a pre-disposition to mental illness, they can cause a drug induced psychosis as you described. There are agencies that deal with helping young people to get off drugs - not easy for him I know.

Do you think it's the drugs that are causing the mental health problems or is he is self medicating with non prescription drugs because of the mental illness. Not always easy to tell I know.

It's small wonder you're feeling low - our children's pain is our pain as mothers and no matter what their age, they will always be our children. Try to look after yourself because then you'll be better placed to support your son.

Original poster
ihatethecold · 23/08/2016 06:49

He missed his appointment at the weekend with the home treatment team so they aren't happy with him.
They called his dad yesterday to say they will call the police if he misses his next one and they will refuse to see him again because he isn't engaging.
He did go to the local drug place but isn't engaging with them either.
He is being extremely selfish at the moment.
He just wants everyone for money.
The first thing he asked me when I'd just spent ££ buying his children shoes and coats for school was can I give him money for an Xbox because he's bored!!!
My head nearly fell off.
Not a word of thanks for looking out for the children.
He definitely uses cannabis as well as his prescription drugs.
He's not interested in engaging with his children. They are crying out for attention from him.
They're living 10 mins away from him and he has free access to see them. ( not on his own) they are in the care of a fantastic relative of his that has completely put her retired life of hold to care for the kids.

Everyone around this situation is so worn down by it.

OP posts:
FruitCider · 23/08/2016 12:34

Hi OP, have you asked his gp to refer him to his local EI service? You might even be able to refer him yourself. They have a more assertive approach and will offer you some support as his carer.

Original poster
ihatethecold · 23/08/2016 12:56

What's EI?

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 23/08/2016 14:07

early intervention (in psychosis)

dangermouseisace · 23/08/2016 14:14

It does sounds like you are in a difficult situation at the moment OP. Hopefully when he's better he might be able to see everything that you and the rest of his family have done for him. It's difficult to know where the line is where a person is being selfish because they are unwell, or being selfish because they just are at that time. To be honest I've just thought about whether I've said thanks to my parents for everything they have done and I haven't- I've only apologised so I must thank them. But I'm not psychotic so that is easier for me to do.

It is good that the home treatment team are saying they will call the police if he misses his next appointment- at least they are concerned, and will take action. What would happen after the police pick him up, if it comes to that?

Original poster
ihatethecold · 23/08/2016 16:15

Probably nothing.
It's a waste of time to send the police.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihatethecold · 23/08/2016 17:11

They will see he is ok and leave him to it.
Then the crisis team will discharge him and we are back to square one.

OP posts:
FruitCider · 23/08/2016 20:11

Ihatethecold please please please ask the GP to refer your son to EI!

dangermouseisace · 23/08/2016 20:21

well hopefully if the police pick him up and he is acting peculiar they will see that he is NOT ok and take him somewhere safe…As you said that he is using cannabis unfortunately the chances of him acting peculiar are high.

Willberry · 24/08/2016 22:26

Sorry not been around DH is needing a lot of support at the moment and it can be all consuming. I'm struggling a bit myself right now. I know how hard it can be. Right now your DS is completely in his own head and his own reality and probably not in a place where he can easily engage with you or the children. Its hard when you don't know whats going on in his head. My DH can totally disengage when hes very poorly.

The home treatment team will use the police to ensure your son complies with their assessments, they may apply for a home treatment order (like a section but to ensure compliance with home treatment) if they feel he is really ill. If they feel he currently has the mental capacity to make the decision not to see them then they would discharge him for not engaging. I agree push for referal to early intervention in psychosis team. My DH was under home treatment team for the first few weeks though before they refered to early intervention team. They delt with the immediate crisis but the real recovery started once early intervention team were involved.

How long has your DS had his symptoms for? Is this his first crisis?

erinaceus · 25/08/2016 02:16

HTT vary by area, according to different people who live in different areas and hence under different HTT.

Beyond that, Willberry speaks sense.

Willberry sending support your way Flowers

Original poster
ihatethecold · 25/08/2016 07:53

Thanks.
I must admit I have disengaged the past few days.
Needed to for my own sanity.
My middle ds gets his gsce results today so the focus will be on him.
I'll try find out today how his spot with the HTT went yesterday.
Personally I feel he needs intervention from a drug support service more than MH.
If he uses his meds properly he seems to be ok.
(I may be completely wrong about this)

But he won't engage with those services.
This isn't the first crisis

He was assessed by the crisis team in May/June after his 4th suicide attempt.
He was under the care if the HTT for 6 weeks but he started drinking heavily.
This resulted in him being very ill vomiting blood so he was re admitted to hospital.
Thankfully that frightened him so much he stop necking vodka.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihatethecold · 25/08/2016 07:55

Flowers for you Wilbury.

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 25/08/2016 18:37

hope your son got what wanted to achieve in his GCSE's ihatethecold. I suppose the thing is that MH services can, if it comes to it, force him to engage if he ends up so unwell that he needs to be sectioned. Drugs services, as far as I'm aware, are voluntary. Usually people that end up with some sort of addiction have MH issues that have caused them to need to escape from reality.

It sounds like you've all really been through it recently [ihatethecold]

Comejointhemurder · 25/08/2016 19:02

Hi OP. Just to say that a PP mentioned a 'home treatment order'. I think they're thinking of a community treatment order (CTO) which can only be applied if you're an inpatient on Sec 3 or sec 37 of the MHA and approaching discharge. And there are lots of criteria to be met before meeting the criteria for CTO and then you have to be assessed for whether it's appropriate or not and the person who is to be subject to the CTO has to essentially agree with it otherwise it's completely unworkable in the community.

I think CTOs work well for some people but not others and as I said, there is a lot of criteria to be met before it would be considered and the person HAS to be in hospital on sec 3 or 37 for it to be even thought of.