Just been diagnosed with BPD and feeling really down

[FaithLoveandHope]

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety years ago after experiencing trauma but I've always felt it was more complicated than that. I finally got referred to the primary mental health team about 6 months ago who referred me to the psychiatrist. He's now just diagnosed me with BPD. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I feel completely lost with it all, I feel like there's something wrong with me, that there's a fundamental flaw in my character. Since being diagnosed I've felt so down and anxious and tiny little things really bother me and I get really angry and then internalise that anger which makes everything feel worse. There are only a couple of people I've told about the diagnosis as I feel there's so much negativity and judgment towards that diagnosis which I really can't face. I feel like I'm falling apart tbh ;(

Faith the majority of the people that are diagnosed are young women that have been sexually abused as a child. In essence it is victim blaming.

https://www.thefword.org.uk/2010/06/borderlineperss__/
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http://www.academia.edu/2080856/Borderlinee_PersonalityDisorderrPatriarchalBoundariessofSanityySelfanddSex

writhesafely.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/how-psychiatry-blames-the-victim/

I have BPD and I've not been sexually assaulted

Faith the majority of the people that are diagnosed are young women that have been sexually abused as a child. In essence it is victim blaming

That is so untrue and you are also wrong for making that kind of statement.

I used to work for MIND a few years ago, and I met both men and women that had been diagnosed with BPD and none of them were sexually abused as a child, BPD is one of the more serious mental health problems they say that the only cure for it is psychology and 5/10 it doesn't even work.

OP are you aware that you can claim disability benefits for your illness?

There is so many ignorant people on this forum it is disgusting.

LoveYouSweetheart it is a fact that 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are female, there is a huge gender bias. According to a lot of research there is a massive link between childhood sexual abuse and developing BPD as an adult. That's not to say everyone that has a diagnosis identifies as female or has experienced childhood sexual abuse - but this will be true for the majority of people diagnosed. It's not horrible or disrespectful to say it, quite the opposite. Instead of victim blaming and saying "oh well it's your fault you behave like that" we can look at things from a different angle and say "no wonder you have problems with trust and regulating your emotions, your trust was broken as a child and you have been violated. You are incredibly strong to survive all of this. You are doing an amazing job!"

Talking about sexual abuse is always going to be uncomfortable, but drowning out people's voices and denying their experiences is not helpful.

Anyway OP, I'm glad you are comfortable with your diagnosis and you are receiving support, I wish you all the best.

FruitCider No it isn't a fact, where are you getting this resource from?

LoveYouSweetheart have you not read the literature in this area? It's pretty well established! Even Mind agrees.

http://www.mind.org.uk/media/42894/understandingbpdd_2012.pdf

So does Rethink

www.rethink.org/resources/b/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-factsheet

So does Mental Health Foundation

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/p/personality-disorders

So does the NHS

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx

So do the Royal College of Psychiatrists

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/personalitydisorder.aspx?theme=mobile

How many resources would you like?

And actually there is a growing evidence base to suggest that many women with ASD are misdiagnosed with BPD. But out of respect for the OP if you wish to debate this topics please set up a new thread.

Well I am telling you I've got BPD and I've never experience any abuse as a child or being sexually assaulted so you shouldn't assume everyone has with what your reading and finding

Fruit even if it is more of a female diagnosis that doesn't make it any less true. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me with it was very adamant it wasn't my fault and although it probably was as a result of sexual abuse as a teenager that still didn't make it my fault and he didn't in any way come across as victim blaming, more just trying to help me understand why I feel the way I do. I'm not sure your out of respect for OP statement really rings true given the amount of links you've left and actually you come across far less understanding than the system you seem to be against (i.e. psychiatrists etc).

Love no I didn't know that. I'm actually currently off work sick with a physical illness. My employer is unbelievably crap and will probably do anything to get me dismissed so they no longer have to pay me SSP so I may very well have to look into benefits sometime soon until I can find something else. It's something that causes me great anxiety and has caused my mood to spiral quite a bit the last few days - the worry of what on earth do I do if I do essentially get fired and how on earth do I find another job when I have no self confidence and self belief, I can't do the job I'm trained to do and have absolutely no sense of what else I could do.

lizzy is quetiapine something that you can take when pregnant? I'm very interested as I can't see me coming off it any time soon and at some point DP and I would love to start a family. Our biggest concern though is my mental health but my issue is if the only way my mental health can be stable is by taking medication then where does that leave me in terms of what I can / can't take during pregnancy / whilst ttc.

75% is a huge number it definitely isn't 75%.

That's like saying 75 out of 100 have been sexually abused.

My doctor said there's no definite answer if it could or couldn't affect the baby so her advice was to be off any sort of medication until at least 13 weeks and take it from there.... there's different forms and medication and low dosages that could be given depending on your mental and physical health

75% of people diagnosed are female is what I actually said! The majority eg more than 50% have been sexually abused as a child.

Creating a whole diagnosis based on strong female emotions then labelling women as "emotionally dis regulated" by giving them the diagnosis is sexist in my opinion, as is it the opinion of many of my colleagues. In fact my colleagues and I do not refer to BPD at all, we refuse to use the term and state "complex trauma" instead. Because it is usually linked to some sort of complex trauma (not necessarily sexual abuse). It is not a disordered personality. I hate the use of the term "personality disorder" as it dismisses the experience as something untreatable and they are still commonly used as a diagnosis of exclusion. Mental health nurses are becoming more critical of psychiatric diagnoses and I believe this is a good thing, it allows for more person centred and therapeutic care rather than treating everything with medication.

Sorry if my initial ramblings were not clear. I just do not believe the biomedical model is the answer to everything. I also think that BPD is currently seen as "the" diagnosis of the decade and is being handed out left right and centre, a bit like bipolar was 20 years ago. The trends in diagnosis and treatment are of great interest to me, and that's why as a nurse I look at symptoms and not labels!

Fruit could you please discuss this elsewhere? None of this is particularly helpful for me. I don't agree with what you are saying in terms of a whole diagnosis being on strong female emotions. There is a huge difference between normal female emotions and flitting between being incredibly happy one moment to being completely suicidal the next, to feeling okay one minute to irrationally angry and almost in a fit of rage the next. I dislike the term personality disorder but think the diagnosis of BPD (or EUPD) can in some cases be immensely helpful in helping patients (including myself) understand their thoughts and emotions.

Couldn't agree more faith

Thanks Lizzy to you too. Hopefully when it comes to ttc DP and I will find a positive way forward when it comes to medication

FruitCider I don't know why you even mentioned sexual abuse no one wants to hear that.

FaithLoveandHope If you have a care co-ordinator she can fill out the forms for you.

And also I know a lot about the drug Quetiapine, many of my clients were prescribed it, the side effects are dreadful and it's very very hard to come off it.

Love I guess I've been very fortunate and not had any side effects. No idea what it'll be like to come off though. I'm under the care of primary mental health team but I've only seen them twice - once for initial assessment and then once for the psychiatrist appointment. I guess technically I still see them as I'm doing a CBT course through them but the person leading that doesn't want to get involved with any of our personal issues. If I saw the original person again could she help with forms? Would it be ESA I'd be entitled to? I'm not sure if I really want to go down that road as I hate being out of work but as it stands I need to keep all options open.

You would be entitled to ESA that's what I am on at the moment I am the same but I've really struggled with my mental health for over 8 years and the last year has been the worst but I've
Got my little boy and baby no 2 to focus on and need to get myself better before I even think about work x