Don't want to leave the house

[Throughautomaticdoors]

Many of you are familiar with my ongoing rotavirus saga in that dd ended up missing the vaccine and a lot of my PND is caught up in feeling dreadful about this and so so worried about her being ill.

I was feeling a little better but I'm really tired with ds (7) off school and I'm getting even less sleep than before. I'm still expressing for Dd so I'm up twice a night at least. Sometimes more if she randomly wants an extra feed somewhere. Last night I spent three hours reading about rotavirus and people whose children had it really badly and this complete desolation has engulfed me again. I can't believe I've let her down so badly. I don't want to do this anymore. When ds goes back to school I'm not taking her anywhere ever again. We've been going out quite a lot as I can't expect ds to be in th house but we've been doing hopefully lower risk things rotavirus wise. We've avoided things like swimming (dd is never going swimming) and soft play (again she's never going in soft play) and stuck to parks, museums, geocaching etc. I've ruined her life because I can't do normal things with her in case she gets sick.

I feel absolutely certain that she's going to die. She still doesn't have a nursery at 7 months because I don't see the point in her having one. I want to rewind time and give her the bloody vaccination. I feel so alone in this.

[LondonCharlady]

Hi, I'm not familiar with your previous threads but if I'm reading this correctly, she hasn't actually been ill, you missed a vaccine and now you're feeling bad about it and have convinced yourself she will become ill?

Please don't be so hard on yourself, we've all made mistakes or forgotten things for our children and then worried like mad afterwards! It sounds like you're exhausted, perhaps a vicious circle, can't sleep because you're worrying, then exhausted which doesn't help your frame of mind. Could your boy go into a holiday nursery for the day, and could someone look after the baby, even just for a short while, so you can get some much-needed rest? Please talk to your GP about the PND if you haven't already. Also, perhaps don't read about rotavirus, it sounds like you're punishing yourself spending so much time reading horror stories! As I said, I'm not familiar with anything you've posted before but it sounds like you desperately need some help and lots of sleep, to see things more clearly and feel stronger and more positive.