Extreme feeling of 'can't be bothered'. Anyone relate?

[MerryMarigold]

Hi. I've posted this here, because I am currently taking anti depressants. I've taken them several times before (Citalopram) and they have been great. I had a tough year, we moved house, it's been very hard for one of my kids in particular, I left friends behind and the new house is hard work (there's so much to do, and it's very cold). Anyway, so I was starting to get to that place where you feel in the eye of the storm of emotions, so much so that sometimes I wanted to die to get some peace. I knew it was time to take some medication, so in Feb I went back on what I am used to.

Anyway, it did definitely calm me, though didn't seem to make me feel as better as it had before. I have started feeling like I just can't be bothered to do anything - in an extreme way. I can't say it's tired, but I would describe it as lethargic, an aversion to doing anything, Not all the time, but a lot of the time. It's not tiredness. I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and I know what that feels like. This has the same outcome, I end up in bed, but it's not a 'dead' sleep, more like I lie there half awake but I'm just there because I don't want to do anything else.

I particularly feel this about things that 'need to be done' - cooking, shopping, washing clothes etc. I have to force myself to do the bare minimum on those, and we have been eating so unhealthily recently, which I am sure is making this worth But even with other things, like it's my birthday coming up, and I can't be bothered to think about what I'd like to be given, or how I'd like to celebrate. I think my family are confused. I do some tutoring (occasionally) and part time voluntary work, and I just don't want to do that either. I feel ok when I actually start, but I feel dreadful beforehand.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so so unmotivated by anything? Could it be physical? Is it mental? Anyone experienced this and please let me know what it is/ whether you overcame it and how.

I'm so glad I found this thread, I feel exactly the same, and have done on and off for years now. I'm also on ADs and have had a bad few days, mostly spent in bed. I am so, so tired all the time, and have no motivation at the moment, plus I have various health conditions which make everything that much harder, as I'm struggling against pain most of the time. Can somebody please link to the other thread mentioned, I'd love to join?

MaryDolores. Here is the link: back pat list

Today I had tea at a friend's house. I am about drink a glass of water. Then fold some washing and have a birthday choc as a treat.

OncemoreintotheBleach (great name btw). I didn't know about dopamine being the motivation hormone. Will def look into things which help it. Maybe we can all become depression experts and help others.

Brilliant, thanks. The dopamine thing is news to me too and fascinating. I'm going to look into that right now and go shopping for the appropriate foods.

Yes Bleach that dopamine news is really interesting. Definitely going to research into it.

As everyone has said, my list is a bit too much, but it's something to aim for. I know that Vit D, best made by skin being in sunshine, is one of the key factors in having energy. That's why I'm aiming to be outside for an hour a day. (Not easy when it's chucking it down.) And the hour's exercise can be the same hour - walking the dog or with a friend etc.

OK. Just had a good Google of dopamine. This is fascinating. I reckon I am on the wrong kind of Ads and some of the rest of us may be as well, which could explain why they don't work. They either increase serotonin (happy hormone) or dopamine (motivational, energetic hormone.) I rarely feel sad. But I always feel sluggish and demotivated.
Lack of dopamine can be caused by low levels of tyrosine in the body.
Other symptoms of low tyrosine include:
brittle nails
dry hair
dry skin
poor concentration
constant lethargy
achy joints
constant low level flu like symptoms
no desire to do anything (lack of both motivation and enthusiasm)
heavy painful periods
inexplicable weight gain

These describe the symptoms I've been back and forward to GP about for decades. And I'd never even heard of tyrosine before bleach mentioned dopamine and merry added that link.

Costs £5 for a bottle of supplements from Holland and Barrett. I'm going to get some and see what happens.

WOW!!!

brittle nails
dry hair
dry skin
poor concentration
constant lethargy

I think I need serotonin AND dopamine, but if you can get the dopamine artificially. that's great. I do get out of control emotionally without the ADs and don't want to go back to that if I just increase the other side of it. Hmmmm interesting!!

Merry - I'm buying these tomorrow and will let you know if they seem to have any effect.

So glad some of you find that useful

I take L-theanine at the moment but I might try L-tyrosine.

This is a good article about both and also foods etc:

universityhealthnews.com/daily/depression/dopamine-supplements-for-improving-mood-and-motivation/

Says you should feel effects in 30 mins?! I'm buying some

Well I took one last night before bed and woke up at 6.30 feeling lively for the first time in ages. Could be psychosomatic. Will take another one later and see. Got to be taken on empty stomach, apparently.

I could have written your post OP. I'm exactly the same. I'm reading responses in anticipation of some help for me too xxx

I had the exact same thing. After taking Citalopram for a while I began to feel an extreme sense of not being motivated to do anything.

I was single at the time and started spending weekends just watching TV and napping on the sofa as I had zero motivation to do anything at all: chores, errands, social things.

I decided it wasn't much better than being depressed and (stupidly) stopped taking them. My motivation came back but then I relapsed into a depressive episode.

I saw a private psychiatrist at The Priory and he said that this kind of side effect was common with longer term use of Citalopram for some people. I switched to a different anti-depressant (Venlafaxine) and haven't had the same feeling again!

Talk to your GP/psych about switching meds X

stumbly that is interesting about citalopram. I have been on it for around 3 years now. I am currently coming off it, but VERY slowly after previous disastrous attempts to come off it. I'm glad you found something that helped you better.

I have also been reading the stuff about dopamine which is also very interesting. I may try some Tyrosine when I next get paid

Interesting. I was on Citalopram for years. Came off it about 2 years ago but needed to take something else and after trying all sorts of things ended up on Prozac which is OKish. I just feel very meh about everything except my DC, DH and my pupils. It's good I don't feel meh about them but feeling meh about absolutely everything else I used to love is a bit sad.
unicorn if you are going to try Tyrosine I'd look for a Holland and Barrett. They do it for £5 and second jar half price. The local chemist charged £13 for one jar. But I felt desperate and coughed up!

thanks giraffe I will try and get to holland and barrett then I think...
how is your going?

I'm really impressed. I don't think it's placebo effect, partly because I've tried so many other things (iron supplements, Vit D, meditation etc) and partly because I can feel the immediate physical and mental effect.

So yesterday, came home after long day with parents having drunk wine at lunchtime. That normally makes me good for nothing except bed. But I took a tyrosine and within half an hour my head was clear and I just felt alert in a way I haven't for years. Like that sluggish drugged up sensation that drags me down 24/7 had gone. I could clean the kitchen, sort out laundry, DCs physio. Also, when shopping yesterday there were £1 bags of jelly babies by the till. Normally that would go straight in my basket and down my throat - 800 calories of pure sugar inhaled in minutes. Yesterday I thought Jelly Babies and then a stronger thought, 'too much sugar,' came into my head with no effort at all. I didn't need any willpower to leave them alone. Again, that's not happened in ages.

It feels like I don't need to use willpower to do the right thing (tidy up, avoid sugar) -it's just coming more naturally. Very early days and I'm not exactly a turbo of energy (and didn't manage to resist my dad topping up the wine) but so far, I'm very hopeful.

Sorry for the essay, just trying to describe the difference. It's small but noticeable.

Same here. It's just so draining.

I do sometimes curl up in a ball and want to go to sleep forever.

No one really understands, I guess it gets boring after a while. I do find the doing 5 mins stuff useful at home. But I have a job that needs me to be on top form 3 days a week.

I find the you tube video "I had a black dog, his name was depression" the only way I can explain it to people.

Putting on an emotional lie is exhausting. And it still is, because everyone thinks I'm fixed. I took the ADs, and still am, but even the most basic things in life a a struggle for me.

And now I have to go into work and be all responsible and corporate. If they only knew.

I have got so good at putting a brave face on I sometimes wonder who I really am.

If you met me, you'd never know.

Shannith, it is exhausting pretending. Are there those close to you who know? Even at work?

Sometimes though, I have found that when I've 'forced myself' I've actually felt a lot better afterwards. It's just the exhaustion of 'forcing'.

I'm off to H & B today I think. Had a bad morning. So tired after all the driving yesterday (more than 4 hours just to get a bike) and stressing that it was Father's Day and I hadn't cooked anything for dh (got a pizza from service station!). Today I feel like I need to unwind.

I was interested to read that lack of sleep makes dopamine kick in short term as I always feel really alert after 1 late night (though also I've usually done something nice like go out with friends - and when I say late I mean 11pm). Tiredness generally hits me 2 or 3 days later. I can't go more than one day without a 9pm a bed time.

Hi Shannith. Yes, I agree. the pretending is so exhausting. it leaves little energy for much else.

Merry I honestly think trying tyrosine is worth a shot. It may be what you need. I'd never even heard of it, or of the difference between dopamine and serotonin ADs until you started this thread, but researching it has made so much sense. It probably won't end up being a miracle cure as nothing really is but it's definitely helping counteract that cotton wool, under the duvet feeling I spend nearly all my energy and attention fighting.

This sounds just like me. I've been on fluoxetine for about 3 years and I have phases where I literally can't be bothered to do anything. I have been known to waste hours online (mn!) when I should be doing other things around the house, cooking, food shopping etc. Then I get upset when things get overwhelming in the house and I feel angry at myself for being so lazy although it's like I just can't help it.

I just assumed this was part of my depression/low mood. How do you know if it is that or to do with the the medication? Sometimes I feel like a zombie, just sitting there letting my dc watch too much tv or have too much iPad time after school. I feel like a failure that I'm not paying them proper attention at these times and thankfully it's not all the time.

I feel really restless a lot of the time and can't focus on anything. I will sit and bite my nails for ages and then feel disgusted with myself at my lack of self-care and achievement.

What are these tablets from Holland &'Barrett and would they be safe to take with other meds apart from the ad's?

I desperately hate being this way and am really grateful to have seen this thread to know I'm not alone.

Hi Tricky,
For me, through various times on and off the citalopram over the years, I can now distinguish the CBA I get form the tablets, and the different ort of inability to function due to the depression - but I agre eit is hard to distinguish.
The tablets are L-Tyrosine and if you read back through thread there has been talk of dopamine being linked to low motivation. L-Tyrosine is a building block for dopamine .

I am off to get dc from school, and will i think check out price in my local chemist (Cant get to H&B yet)

I am though feeling ill today - as in with a virus I think, although could just be my hayfever being very bad. I have really sore throat and horrible nose etc...so feeling even less motivated than usual. Not to mention all the antihistamines I've doped myself up with to get through work this morning!! May just write today off!

Unicorn what is the difference? Because I can't tell either. I either feel frozen and zonked with depression and want to sleep my life away or I feel zombied by drugs and want to sleep my life away. Either way I really am desperate to find a way to get motivated again, if only so the house gets sorted out, but ideally so I can get on with and back to stuff I actually enjoy and am quite good at when not semi catatonic.
This thread is very helpful.

Unicorn - hope you feel better soon. In case it helps, I find Boots non-drowsy antihistamines actually work, as the others just put you straight to sleep.

thanks Giraffe I have tried every antihistamine ever invented!! I take loratidine mostly , which is Ok and doesn't make me drowsy. But when grass pollen peaks in June it just isn't enough, so I have to go onto others which are more sedating. Having said that I have now taken 2 paracetamol and feel much better so suspect it may actually be a virus and not all due to hayfever after all!

In terms of differences re side effects and being depressed, I'm not sure how to describe it, but I have different sets of problems when on citalopram than when off it. I suspect though that anxiety is a large part of my problem and I think it is mostly that that the citaopram helps with.When I am not on citalopram I am motivated to get stuff done. I just seem to keep on top of the house etc better. I am more organised.I take the kids out nice places more often. I plan things. I still don't really enjoy much though. But then I get massive feelings of being overwhelmed, I get tearful and irritable. I overthink EVERYTHING and feel like I want to scream. Eventually I do then get to the stage where I just hide away form the world which then is the same really as on citalopram.
On citalopram I am calmer . I am less irritable. I get less wound up about stuff. I feel less tearful and less hopeless. BUT I just cant be bothered to do stuff. Everything (even showering) seems a huge effort, and sometimes is just unmanageable.
you are right though, both situations are not ideal, and I would really like to find a better solution. I am now down to 10mg citalopram every other day....hoping to drop again in a couple of weeks.

Good luck with coming off it. Are you increasing mood enhancing stuff like exercise, sunshine etc into your day to replace it?