Borderline Personality Disorder

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I've been reading a lot about this and fit so many of the characteristics of it, been on ADs for years, and always assumed I had severe chronic depression. Can I just walk into my Dr and say I think I have it? Does anyone know what is involved with a diagnosis?

Yeah, lithium wouldn't work for BPD anyway - nowadays it's even a last resort treatment for bipolar disorder, as there are lots more meds available that are much less hard on the body. Lithium can cause kidney failure over time, and it has to be monitored quite strictly, as least to begin with.

Wow, it seems my new area is pretty shocking for meds.

I went through loads after my breakdown and lamotrigine was the only one that worked. I'm really annoyed that they've told me no but offered me an option of 4, 3 of which would send me manic and the other is likely to impede my ed recovery. I basically told them to shove it, I got a patronising 'of we medicated you you'd be non compliant'. I have sleepers but rarely take them.

Saying that I cannot cope without weekly therapy, I can't do my job more than 2 days a week, I upped it to 3 for a little while and ended up in a strange leaning into affair destructive behaviour so dropped back to 2. I have to exercise vigorously for 4-5 days a week or my mood becomes erratic. My period is horrific, the week leading up to it I feel close to breakdown, hormones and me don't go well.

Amitriptyline was prescribed for me with post natal depression with DS. I was prescribed 150mg at night and it left me like a zombie; able to breastfeed and change nappies but not much else. At least I didn't want to throw DS out the window, but that might have been because I was zombie.

Lithium is still used today for bipolar and is a good treatment, but it is a last resort due to the diet and management regime. I was given a leaflet when I was first diagnosed and it scared the bejeezus out of me. I was initially prescribed lamotrigine and quetiapine, bur quetiapine knocked me out for 12 hours straight. I now take lamotrigine and rispiridone and if I take it at the right time - between 7-8pm - I can function the next day. It's the anti-psychotics that make me sleepy.

My kidneys are crap anyway. Antipsychotics make me eat all the sweets for those few hours a day when I'm not sleeping. Risperdal made me super-speedy but very happy - looks of horror from my then team.

Risperidone was AWFUL for me, just horrible. I was 17 when it was prescribed, and it made me produce a ton of breastmilk - I was horrified. I felt drunk, like my head was full of cement, and I slurred my words. I used to fall asleep at work too.

Lamotrigine has been good for me, it doesn't make me sleepy or fat, but it does feel like its benefits are quite fragile - it doesn't do much to rein in some of my more extreme symptoms when they emerge. It does seem to be the go to treatment for a lot of mood disorders now though.

I'm not going to go to my GP yet about this, I've got far too much going on and I think it's best for me to wait until things in my personal life have calmed down and see how I feel after that. I'm already seeing a therapist so may discuss this with them in the meantime.

Gast, that sounds like a good plan. Definitely explore your feelings with your therapist though

Personally I think therapy is the thing that has saved me. I now understand myself and my behaviours much more as well as simply unloading the weeks stress.

It's not always easy, I understand I am very lucky, but at some point it might be worth looking at your life (excluding crisis situations) and see what is possible to change. Tbh going part time at work has really helped me. Like I say, I'm lucky that we can afford it. We are not rich and just about make ends meet but it means I am able to function and be a half decent mum to dd1

Tbh going part time at work has really helped me.

And me. I can only work part time because of the DC, and I'm self employed, so don't always bring a great deal of money in, but it's been a lifeline for getting me out of the house and around other adults who make a great deal of effort to understand and accommodate my mental health needs. I'm very lucky to work with those people, and it certainly pushes me to make the effort to regulate my own moods and behaviours.

albadross are you tapering off the pregablin? my GP told me to stop it cold turkey when I went on mirtazapine and the withdrawal was pretty horrible...

Beauty You saying your side effects of rispiridone makes me feel like I'm not the only one. I take my meds about 7-8pm and I'm dead to the world for the next 8 hours. H thinks I'm drunk when I stagger or fall into furniture, but I'm not. It's my meds. And the staggering lasts into the next day.

He's on the cusp of leaving me because of who I am and how I am, and although he says I look and sound drunk he's still more than happy for me to do DD's insulin injections of a night and weigh all the food for the day and write everything in her book. He's also more than happy for me to dress up and use me as his wank puppet, taking photos and videos of me dressed and trussed for his satisfaction. I'm not so drunk sounding then apparently.

I'm suffering the effects of my meds when it suits him, and tonight it suits him that I sound drunk. I know what he's doing downstairs, the videos he's watching, the women he's talking to. Tonight I'm apparently suffering from my meds. Quite sad really.

Boogers, oh love. Firstly, it's definitely NOT just you with those side effects, risperidone is horrible. I could never find a decent time of day to take it, I got terrible 'hangovers' from it even if I took it before bed.

And honestly? Your H sounds like a fucking arse. You sound so frustrated and angry. I'm so sorry you're going through this bullshit with him

Beauty I'm sorry, I am angry and frustrated, but this is the wrong place to vent that anger and frustration, sorry.

Boogers, don't be silly - you can vent. PM me if you feel better doing it that way, I'm here to listen.

I'm glad another poster already flagged up aspergers as an alternative to explore with the appropriate psych team. Women are very under diagnosed and present differently to the stereotypical 'male' aspie.

Thank you Beauty.

I took my meds at 7.30 and they've kickiing in now so I just need to sleep. I might take you up on your offer mind!

Night and bless xx

Please do Boogers - anything to help you feel less alone

Night my love. Try and rest xx

fucking hell boogers he sounds exactly like my XH, who was more than happy to exploit my lack of self esteem for his own jollies. please take care - you are worth so much more..

Well I've just started 50mg lamotrigine (up from 25) and they're planning to keep upping it until I'm 'normal'.

Do any of you watch Big Brother? I know it's low-brow dross - but interesting from a BPD pov. I'm watching Charlie and aside me not quite having the killer bod... I've lived out her actions. Uncomfortable viewing for me.

It's me again. My MH took a real dive last week and I've been referred for a psychiatric assessment.