How bad will I feel in the morning?

[Goingtobeawesome]

I've had a really difficult time. I decided today i was going to drink loads so I could just have a few hours off from feeling -suicidal- rubbish. I rarely drink. So far I've had 2.5 glasses of wine and five sparkling wine truffles. I'm a light weight so already feeling it. This is a one off. Probably won't drink again for weeks.

I'm still sad but resigned.

Stop being hard on yourself! It sounds like you're having a hard time. It will get better.

Are you speaking to any one about how your feeling doctor etc?

How much did you have to drink? When did you start and stop drinking?

I had about 3.5 glasses of wine. Not really sure when I stopped drinking. Maybe about ten o'clock.

Don't see the point of the doctors. They can't help. Was referred for talking therapy and told I didn't meet the threshold. Just sad that I'll always feel this way as I have for such a long time. My DH is so lovely. I do think he deserves better.

Don't drive if you feel like alcohol still in system.

I would go back to doctors and explain how you're feeling.

Try and take it easy today X

I'm not going to drive. It's not a fun errand to the police station so I just wanted to get it over with and then have DH here for a cuddle. I'll do it tomorrow or next week as busy all week.

Just spent hours ironing and now I'm hiding in my room.

Thanks again.

Today has been rubbish. I'm just so unhappy. I don't know what I want other than out of my life. Hoping it's just hormones.

Could you get out for a short walk or do something nice like having a hot bath or reading a book for half an hour?

I know from experience that even these simple things can seem too much sometimes.

I can't go out but I am looking forward to watching something with DH later. Little things.... DH is doing tea. I just want to slap myself for not being able to snap out of it. Bottom line I feel alone and lonely and that equals worthless. my parents didn't want me and I spent childhood in care.

And for your DH.

Try not to fight it too much. Sometimes all we can do is acknowledge the sadness as part of who we are.

I've always been sad. It's just heightened at the moment due to recent events and people making me feel worthless plus hormones and I'm not strong enough to be able to shake it off. I actually want to cry that a stranger is being so kind to pathetic me. Thank you .

We want to be kind. So don't cry about that.
You can't just 'snap out of it' the same as you can 'snap out' of flu or a broken arm, it's nothing to do with strength either. It's overwhelming when you feel like you so. Sometimes you just need to take it day by day or hour by hour

I'm on the verge of tears all the time. Partly I know why but there's nothing I can do about it but the hormonal side of me doesn't help. I just feel so alone and sad. I feel in self destruct mode and I hate I can't.

Have you talked to your GP about how you feel?

Hello goingtobeawesome

You are struggling with so many things. I'm no psychiatrist but it's clear your childhood is the root of at least some of your problems

Please keep talking to us. We are glad to help x

Imbroglio - I haven't seen the GP for emotional stuff for years. When I've tried it's not gone well. Told to exercise and keep busy mainly. I saw a GP a bit okay as unwell and I cried. She referred me for talking therapy but I was told I didn't meet the threshold.

Marchate - I've a few unresolved issues. I'm not sure what I need to fix them. I just feel I've had most of my life already and so much of it has been with me being sad. And now I feel I'm making DH sad and that's unbearable.

I did the police station errand this morning. It wasn't easy at all but I'm quite proud, and relieved, that it is done.

Do you generally have trouble going out? Is it because you feel down, or is it a fear of what will happen?

So glad you got the errand done

I have to go out every week day to do the school run, and I volunteer a few times a week in school too, but the errand wasn't a fun one and I was worried I'd cry given my fragile state. I held it together, mainly as the support staff weren't very kind of knowledgable and someone needing a metaphorical cuddle and getting nothing back is worse than showing vulnerability.

I hide at home a lot. I only really have one local friend who I see and when I'm as miserable and pathetic as this I find it hard to be all cheerful and good company.

That is so kind and helps even wiout the drinks or flowers. Someone who was meant to care has continually not supported me and it is getting to me now. DH wants me to tell them how I feel. I don't want to upset them.

I'm not sure how I would react. They can't deny it but they would either refuse to talk, maybe cry or pretend I've said nothing. It would be healing. Recently I have been through a criminal situation and justice prevailing has been very healing. Someone else has opened up and shared things and that has fixed part of me too so I feel I'm all about justice and the right things happening. I'm just not sure I want to hurt someone to help me.

I've booked DH for a cuddle. I'm not very good at looking after myself but DI isn't bad.

DH not DI