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Mental health

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Original poster

Scared to start Citalopram

42 replies

Needtobebetter · 17/12/2015 20:52

I've been to the GP and he prescribed Citalopram, I made the appointment this afternoon because of an awful, shouty morning with my DC's that is absolutely triggered by my awful mood swings and anxiety. My GP said I'm depressed and anxious, I know I am but it's taken me a very long time to admit it. I shouted at my 3yo and walked away from my 6month old because I just couldn't cope, I didn't leave the house but I was tempted and it's never got to that point before. I usually cry all day, every day. My 3yo is anxious because of me.

So, I've been prescribed 20mg of Citalopram a day. But I'm scared to feel worse: paranoid, panic, suicidal etc. the side effects are more terrifying than my symptoms. I have to be capable of looking after my children, I have a good support network in my family but they're all so tied up with work because of Christmas that I can't put on them any more than I already do. Do I take the tablets? Or do I think that at least there's an answer for why I feel this rubbish and it's not just because I'm a horrible person? If I take the second option then maybe knowing that there is a reason I might snap out of it.

I just down want to ruin Christmas and I can't bear the thought of feeling worse. Do I take them or do I just keep trying to snap out of it?

OP posts:

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 17/12/2015 20:59

Have you taken it before and had those side effects or are you just worried about them?

GoofyIsACow · 17/12/2015 21:01

I could have written your post, i started taking the same dose 2 weeks ago, i felt sick for 24 hrs but other than that no side effects.

Take them...

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 17/12/2015 21:03

A week or two in I had a night of nausea and a metallic taste in my mouth for a couple of days. That was it.

BooOzMoo · 17/12/2015 21:04

If you need them ... Take them !!!! If you have did effects them you can deal with then!!!!

glamourousgranny42 · 17/12/2015 21:06

I've taken citalapram for several years and will probably be on them for life. I take 60mg for bi polar so a little different to you. They have made such a difference to my life I'm happy to keep taking them. Initially I felt really sick and and a bit 'out of it' but once I got used to them I was fine. Look at it as a short term help until you are psychologically ready to deal with the root of your anxiety. Good luck x

TreeHuggerMum1 · 17/12/2015 21:10

Take them.
I like you was struggling to cope with little ones and work pressure so I was prescribed. I was more anxious for the first couple of days but my GP said it was normal and stick with it, I'm so glad I did. Within weeks I was feeling so much better and starting to come off after 6 months.
Good luck and I hope they work as well for you.

Dec2015 · 17/12/2015 21:11

Oh god take them. Honestly. It moved me from a joyless existence to having a life. A life I engaged in and took pleasure from.

NiceAcorns · 17/12/2015 21:13

They have changed my life. The only side effect I got was almost instant deep sleep.

So I take them at bedtime - win win!

HemanOrSheRa · 17/12/2015 21:17

I've been taking Citalopram for 6 years. I felt slightly odd for the first couple of weeks, my anxiety was slightly worse, but I was feeling pretty crap at the time anyway! After a couple of weeks the awful feelings of depression and anxiety lifted. I then realised how bad I'd felt for so long. Honestly, they changed my life for the better. Take the tablets .

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 17/12/2015 21:31

Try them...
I started on the stuff... At the time it helped.... I weaned myself off after a while because I was not convinced it was working in the long run. Now I take another med when I am feeling rough.

It is not a cure...
It is a tool for managing... a bit like insulin for diabetics..

As others have said........ goodluck and keep in touch.

Castrovalva · 17/12/2015 21:46

I think ADs are a bit of a catch 22: because your thought process is a little disorders due to depression/ anxiety etc, you would benefit from taking ADs. but you get overly anxious about the side effects and really worked up,about starting them...because you have disordered thinking because you have depression and or anxiety.

That is how it felt to me, once I'd started taking them! But fuck me I made a mountain out of the molehill when I was prescribed them. One which, while I remember how intensely logical it seemed at the time makes no sense looking back.

Hope you feel able to start on them OP, and that they work as well for you as they do for many on here.

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 17/12/2015 22:12

Ah thank you, I'm so glad that you've all found some relief from using them and replying has really helped me out a lot. I'm going to take them and I feel a lot less anxious about doing so, I need them, I really do. TwoandTwo no, this is my first time on antidepressants and I'm scared but actually I'm scared of myself at the moment so I guess my apprehension doesn't make sense.

Castrovalva exactly! Exactly this! I feel like I've been to the drs and asked for help but now I'm questioning what I said and whether that was an accurate description. My thinking is disordered and obsessive, yet I feel like I work through everything in such detail that it has to be logical. It makes no sense, it takes me an hour to pack a bag before we go out and at the time this seems totally logical. It isn't.

OP posts:

Castrovalva · 17/12/2015 22:33

I just want to come and give you a big hug!

I totally get that bag packing, did I say the right thing thought process. All the while Thinking you are being logical. It's bloody awful, actually it is just exhausting. The ADs helped me step off that merry go round. I only needed them for a year or so, despite having quite severe (according to the GP) depression. I did some counselling then CBT which was helpful.

Hope you feel better soon

TheoriginalLEM · 17/12/2015 22:36

oh yes absolutely take them! like others here i only experienced a bit of nausea and a feeling of bring wired. it goes off. saved my life

CrabbyCockwomble · 17/12/2015 22:41

Take them. It's a very individual thing, which ones suit you, but evryone I know who's taken citalopram has been fine on them. Of all the ADs
I've taken (many) over the years, they've suited me the best and had the fewest side effects. I was on them successfully for ten years, then they didn't seem to work so well. I came off (disaster!), and now I'm on Escitalopram, the newer version, which suits me just as well.

Try them - if they don't suit you, you can always stop. When that cloud lifts, you'll be glad you did.

Wolfiefan · 17/12/2015 22:41

Disordered but seeming logical? I've been there.
I didn't realise quite how ill I was until I got well! I took citalopram. I was extremely anxious about taking it. I had never had it before. It gave me the support I needed to get through the tough times, do CBT and start to get well.
I did feel pretty rubbish to start with on it but then I was in a very dark place to start with. It certainly didn't make me feel panic, paranoid or suicidal. Bit of a zombie really. But then someone said I needed that brain time out to recover.
Wishing you better times ahead. Xxx

CrabbyCockwomble · 17/12/2015 22:43

Also, be prepared to feel worse for a week or so while you adjust. Be gentle with yourself. I find it helps to stick to the same brand; if I change brands, I get symptomatic while I adjust to the new one (I may just be odd like that, though ).

DifferentCats · 17/12/2015 22:58

Agree that they will make you feel better. It doesn't sound like they can make you feel worse, you poor thing.

Two pieces of advice:

They might make you feel either restless or sleepy, so think about the time of day you take them.

You can always start with a half or even a quarter. Just cut the pill with scissors.

Good luck. As you can see, they have helped lots of people. Getting better from depression without medication has been described as trying to punch yourself in the face with no hands. The tablets will give you that missing bit of strength to get better.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 17/12/2015 23:04

A bit like Wolfie, I didn't realise how unwell I was till I wasn't that unwell. I resisted for a long, long time. I am not yet better, but I am much more stable, less shouty, less tired, more rational have a sex drive again.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 17/12/2015 23:14

Googling side effects as a depressive is not a good thing to do.

jellyjiggles · 18/12/2015 05:47

Op the anxiety about taking them is actually the illness taking hold. I'm back on them and have been for a couple of months. I won't lie to you I do get side effects from them but those do pass with time.

The things I find happen for me are:
Spaced out
Very nauseous (I get anti sickness tablets to take alongside for the first few weeks!) upset stomach for first 48 hours.
Periods of physical restlessness
Night sweats
It does increase my anxiety symptoms initially

The only 2 factors that are unpleasant are the sickness and upset stomach, the increased anxiety.

I take Imodium, anti sickness for first few days/weeks. I've just been prescribed something else to help calm the anxiety short term while I get the tablets into my system.

I know they help but it takes time (up to 6 weeks) to work.

I'm not well at the moment but I keep reminding myself it's the illness that's making me feel like this. It does get better!

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 18/12/2015 11:47

There's another recent thread on Citalopram:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/2526223-Citalopram-and-side-effects

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 18/12/2015 20:40

I've just taken my first pill, my antidepressant journey has started. I cannot wait to feel better. I'm actually so suprised that so many of you understand the symptoms I have - I'd convinced myself I was totally fine, just a bit angry/sensitive. Clearly, I'm completely symptomatic and I need to reset and sort myself out. I'm so shouty and impatient with my DC, my eldest is only 3 and yet I've convinced myself he shouldn't be doing things like running around, wasting food and making silly noises. At one time I was actually looking forward to silly behaviour, I just wish I could figure out what changed and when. Anyway, the only way is forward so even if these pills take weeks to kick in at least I'm taking positive steps to addressing my own behaviour and thoughts.

Different I actually laughed at that analogy, that's brilliant!

Thank you to all of you, I feel support that I've never felt before and I'm so thankful to you all for sharing your experiences.

OP posts:

mrsmeerkat · 18/12/2015 20:44

Sending you

I started in October. First week was tired and bit shaky but very mild.

Totally did me the world of good. In a great place now and only on them a short while

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 18/12/2015 20:56

Thanks mrsmeerkat that's good to know :). I'm looking forward to getting the initial few weeks out of the way and starting to feel better. This is the first time I've felt optimistic in a very long time.

OP posts:

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