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Mental health

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Original poster

Scared to start Citalopram

42 replies

Needtobebetter · 17/12/2015 20:52

I've been to the GP and he prescribed Citalopram, I made the appointment this afternoon because of an awful, shouty morning with my DC's that is absolutely triggered by my awful mood swings and anxiety. My GP said I'm depressed and anxious, I know I am but it's taken me a very long time to admit it. I shouted at my 3yo and walked away from my 6month old because I just couldn't cope, I didn't leave the house but I was tempted and it's never got to that point before. I usually cry all day, every day. My 3yo is anxious because of me.

So, I've been prescribed 20mg of Citalopram a day. But I'm scared to feel worse: paranoid, panic, suicidal etc. the side effects are more terrifying than my symptoms. I have to be capable of looking after my children, I have a good support network in my family but they're all so tied up with work because of Christmas that I can't put on them any more than I already do. Do I take the tablets? Or do I think that at least there's an answer for why I feel this rubbish and it's not just because I'm a horrible person? If I take the second option then maybe knowing that there is a reason I might snap out of it.

I just down want to ruin Christmas and I can't bear the thought of feeling worse. Do I take them or do I just keep trying to snap out of it?

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 18/12/2015 20:58

Good news. You will soon have to change your name to wowidofeelbetter!

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 18/12/2015 21:55

Well done! Onwards and upwards. I wish I had dared to take them about a year before I did ...

Besom · 18/12/2015 22:06

Well done! I've just come off it a few weeks ago. I have found it really helpful.

HemanOrSheRa · 19/12/2015 01:24

Well done you! You might feel a bit weird for a while but not much worse than you are now. Keep posting about how you feel. You will be fine .

DifferentCats · 19/12/2015 06:29

I hope you slept well, OP!

The next few days might be challenging, but in a different way. But you are doing the right thing in taking care of yourself.

AliciaMayEmory · 19/12/2015 06:44

Weldone OP. I was on the same dosage as you, it took half a tabet for the first week. I had no side effects at all and felt so much better once they started to work.

AliciaMayEmory · 19/12/2015 06:45

Sorry, typo! *Well done, obvs!

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 19/12/2015 21:46

Thank you :). Well, today has been better than usual. I know the tablets won't have started working yet as I've only just started but the sheer sense of relief is amazing. Today I've felt a little bit sick and chilled out, I'm not sure if it's the side effects or the fact that I'm relieved to have actually told someone how I'm feeling which I suppose is a bit like a weight has been lifted. My adrenaline probably isn't going mad as I expect it usually is.

AliciaMayEmory I've taken half tonight as I've got a day with my family planned tomorrow and I was very drowsy this morning up until about lunch time. DifferentCats I really did! I'm just taking it really easy this week because I'm still scared about the side effects, hopefully it'll be fine and I'll just start feeling better. Wolfiefan I'm so going to do that! Once I'm sorted of course :). But I never thought I'd be saying that.

OP posts:

Ilikesweetpeas · 19/12/2015 21:55

needtobebetter well done for taking them. I could have written your post 18 months ago but now feel so much better thanks to the citalopram. I know it's not the AD for everyone but it's helped me so much. I hope that it helps you too

DifferentCats · 20/12/2015 08:51

Hope today goes a little better too. It sounds like you are not doing too bad with the side effects.

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 20/12/2015 22:36

Thank you :). I'm feeling ok, I feel a bit sick but it's not awful (I think I was envisaging something like the morning sickness I had with DS2) and I do feel a bit spaced out. Being spaced out is actually quite nice, it's like I'm just getting on with things instead of being caught up in them. I only took half a tablet last night because we had a full day of Christmas things planned for today and I couldn't risk having intense side effects but I honestly think it's taken the edge off. My paranoia has increased, I find myself asking 'what if?' a lot and over very irrational things which is something that I do anyway but it varies intensity when it happens. It's not usually constant, but I can deal with it. Usually a whole family day out would have me crawling the walls but I've been a lot better today, I'm not sure if it's the spaced out feeling or the fact that I've had a bit of a light bulb moment about everything and I'm changing my behaviour. It could be both I suppose.

I hope everyone is ok today. Thank you all for being so supportive x

OP posts:

DifferentCats · 21/12/2015 12:02

I'm glad you are feeling a little better.

It's a difficult time of year to be feeling overwhelmed, isn't it? So much pressure to get everything perfect.

jerseygal78 · 22/12/2015 10:53

I'm watching this with interest. I was prescribed 10mg yesterday for work / home stress & depression. I'm not sure whether to take them morning or eve & whether I should delay til after Xmas. I'm cooking for 12 xmas day & worried about being too spaced out. I'd welcome any advice. Thanks

DifferentCats · 22/12/2015 11:53

The main two side effects are sleepiness and feeling jittery. Some people find they sleep well on them and get tired easily in the day (yawning lots, but nothing horrendous), and some people feel very jittery, like they have just had too much coffee (not such a bad thing unless you took it at night).

I get the jittery feeling because I am much more of a wide awake type person.

If you aren't sure, I recommend taking a half or a whole one around 6pm. So if you get suddenly tired, it wouldn't be mad for you to have an early night. And if you got jittery, you would be feeling better by midnight.

But 10mg is not a huge dose, so it shouldn't affect you too much. You might even notice the side effects less if you are keeping very busy.

And good luck xx

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 24/12/2015 01:11

Jerseygal78 I've been prescribed 20mg but I've started off on half a tablet because I was so scared, tonight I've taken a full tablet because I've had a bit of a day and I feel like I need to get it in my system more quickly. I've just felt relaxed, I felt a bit sick to begin with but on a morning I've actually woken up with energy! My anxiety has been quite bad today but I know it's just until my tablets start to kick in, it wasn't nice though as I really had to be somewhere that I would usually dread so this just made it so much worse. It's common for things to feel worse as your body adjusts but I wouldn't say that's entirely been the case for me. I can feel a positive difference already. Don't be scared, that's the illness not you.

OP posts:

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 25/12/2015 23:36

Need,
Glad to hear you are starting your journey.

Now for a bit of wisdom. If you find the meds help, keep taking them. You are only feeling better because the meds are working. Do not get into thinking you feel better and you can stop.

I came off citralopram to go onto valproate... I am not free of meds.. they are a tool to help when I need them...

Keep posting.

Original poster

Needtobebetter · 26/12/2015 00:48

Thank you ProfessorPreciseBug, wisdom and wise words are always welcomed :). It's really hard to convince myself that it's the tablets making me feel better rather than the tablets being a cure, I suppose it goes against what we usually think about medication - if we get an infection we take tablets and it goes away, it's hard to consider that these tablets won't 'fix' my head but rather help me to help myself. My GP said to me that it was important that the tablets weren't considered a cure and that they were there to support my recovery which needs to include some therapy. To get to the bottom of what has triggered my depression and anxiety.

The tablets have given me a better perspective and I've gained much more clarity over my own circumstances. I'm only in the early stages of my medication and it's only been a few days of me taking the full, prescribed dose but I can feel a difference already. It's empowering to know that there is a reason for my increased anxiety which has been an effective tool in talking myself down. I'm not enjoying the increased anxiety I'm suffering as a side effect but because I'm aware of why it's happening I can reason with myself more effectively. It's really helping me to adjust my thought processes and although I have a long way to go, I feel much more in control of my feelings.

It's only a small improvement but I think when things felt so desperate I never thought they'd get better, I'm determined to get the better of this.

OP posts:

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