Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I think it's time to say goodbye

70 replies

Ineedsomebodylava · 16/12/2015 23:59

It's time to end it all. Something that I've been contemplating for months but couldn't bring myself to do it as its not fare on the innocent life inside me!

Expecting first and only child in 2 weeks and will sadly be saying goodbye. Sorry to do this but need to tell someone.

I'm sorry

OP posts:
Boosiehs · 17/12/2015 11:00

Are you ok this morning ? Can you speak to Samaritans now? Please don't do anything rash, please try and get some help.

Flossiesmummy · 17/12/2015 11:08

Please please seek help! Your baby needs you.

Go and see the doctor. Please consider sharing your pain with your partner too.

Keep talking. Sending love and strength.

hownottofuckup · 17/12/2015 12:02

Hi OP, have you experienced these feelings before? Agree with Lem it could be antenatal depression.
There is help available. Don't hide your pain, keep talking Flowers

FlowersAndShit · 17/12/2015 13:10

Hope your ok OP Flowers

Original poster
Ineedsomebodylava · 17/12/2015 15:01

Just spoken to sister... Not to in trivialize my depressed state, she may think it's a sign of labour.., dp has guessed something is wrong as I can't stop sobbing today...

Will not do anything silly... I promise

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 17/12/2015 15:39

Good to hear from you OP

Your sister is right, being weepy can be a sign that labour is imminent but from what you have said this sounds more than that. Could you speak to your me or gp? Just explain how you are feeling

Original poster
Ineedsomebodylava · 17/12/2015 16:11

So low! Lowest I've been ever.

Told dp to fuck off and that I dont want him around! Feel bad as I truly don't want to even look at him.

He said to me that I've trapped him and that if it's gonna be this way for the rest of his life we may as well call it quits. That he'll bring up baby alone...

Sis says he's scared! Like some guys say have an abortion when you tell them you're expecting... It's a panic mode they go through... Voicing what they feel without thinking... This I understand if it were true... But I feel he means it!

Left my engagement ring on his bedside table. He can choose now! Trying to nap in the nursery but can't stop sobbing!

Thank you for you kind words and concerns... I don't know why my first point of call was to cry to mn. Never done anything like this... Only joined a week ago! Seems it's all too much!

OP posts:
jemimavintage · 17/12/2015 16:17

Ineed, do you know why you're feeling so low? Has anything specific happened?

Please access any help you can. Honestly, given time, you WILL feel differently...

Hugs

Jem

jemimavintage · 17/12/2015 16:18

Ok, I see you message above. thnx for sharing. It's a good thing to talk to the mums on here.. There's plenty of help

Freezingwinter · 17/12/2015 16:33

The last few weeks of pregnancy are so hard, I remember feeling so emotional and strange, not myself at all. How are things between you usually? Hope you are OK!

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 17/12/2015 17:29

Having a child is one of the most impactful events in one's life. Whether or not your dp is ready for a child, I don't know. But as hard as it may be, it's a decision that he is entitled to make. But he's not entitled to say ugly things to you!

You need to concentrate on YOU and the baby. That's what's important here. Is there any way you can stay with your sister until Baby comes? Or your parents? Or can you ask him to leave and have someone stay with you?

Please remember that you are a precious, important part of many people's lives. And a precious, important part of this world. You matter.

Original poster
Ineedsomebodylava · 17/12/2015 22:47

The hopelessness of our relationship is dragging me down.
He doesn't seem to get what I'm feeling and what we're heading for.

I'm at a loss still. Can't bare for him to even look at me getting into my pjs or touch me... I'm hoping this is hormones but I sadly know that this is and has been one of many arguments... All with me at fault. It worries me... Have I entered a world where it's ok for him to call me useless? Where I dread being alone with him as he can say what he likes... But be all please and thank you around others.

We had lunch with one of his clients today and he was... For the first time all smiles and excitement about the baby while I sat there puffy eyed (a pregnancy symptom of course). All was fine till we were walking home and he starts again about how he earns everything, how he pays for everything! How if this is the way his life is going to be, doesn't want it!
That I'm trapping him...

OP posts:
ImtheChristmasCarcass · 17/12/2015 23:30

Darling, is there anywhere at all you can go? I don't think he's good for you right now. You need to be where you can feel safe and calm.

I know the last months of pregnancy can be very hard and we can be very sensitive and feel very ungainly and uncomfortable. It's not right for you to be in this condition and be in a place where you don't feel valued and protected.

What happens to your relationship, for now, isn't the important thing. What's important is that you find a place where you aren't being criticized and made to feel bad. A place you can stay until the baby is born. Do you have a place like that? Any MNers have any suggestions? I'm not in the UK so I don't know what's available. Could WA help?

Please call your family. Talk to your midwife. Tell them what is going on.

Marchate · 18/12/2015 00:08

Probably your midwife would be the best person to talk to in the first place. Tell her about the criticism in private, and how it contrasts with his behaviour in public. That's Emotional Abuse. You don't need that ever, but especially in pregnancy.
Women's Aid would help too but I expect you have a 24 hour a day contact number for the midwife? She would tell you to phone WA if that's your best option.
You are doing really well under extreme pressure. You are not to blame for his attitude. You and your baby are precious x

Kizulo · 18/12/2015 02:06

Some men are so friggin stupid, useless? Hun you are doing the most useful thing you could do, and that's bringing another life into this world! Do not listen to him saying you are useless etc, if only he knew how hard pregnancy & labour is! Really hope you figure out what's best for you and your children and do what's right! Make sure to post on here when you're feeling down etc, as you have all these lovely ladies wanting to help:) xx

lisa2104 · 18/12/2015 15:38

Hi op I just wanted to say I suffer with anxiety and I've been through the same thing. I sent my partner to hell and back. Having a baby was all I ever wanted but when I got pregnant I plunged into a kind of hideous anxious and depressive state I worried so much about unreal stuff it almost made me have a breakdown. As soon as I saw my baby I fell in love and felt alive again. I had loved her all along I was just scared I'd let her down. 3 years later I do still have anxious moments but my daughter is amazing and I am so busy with her I cannot be down for long. It will get better and you will find strength you never knew you had.

Original poster
Ineedsomebodylava · 19/12/2015 00:39

Thank you lisa2104 and all the other MN ladies.

Still feeling down and broken but not as tearful.
Saw my sister who listened and her children were amazing too! Only 3 and tried everything to make auntie feel less boo boo!

I haven't left but am going to see how I feel. I have a MW appointment book for Wednesday so will talk to her then...

OP posts:
CallieTorres · 28/12/2015 20:35

Hi op

Just checking in on you, how are you feeling?

dublingirl48653 · 28/12/2015 21:49

please do let us know how you are
so sorry to hear you feel this way

praying for you and your innocent baby xxx

feathers · 03/01/2016 19:08

How are you? We are here if you need to talk xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page