So I can't seem to cope with the smallest thing these days

[Sugarmagnolia]

I'll be fine (or at least think I'm fine) one minute and then the dog will get mud on the carpet or DS will seem to be taking forever to go to the toilet just when we need to leave for school or DD will get toothpaste on her school pinafore (again, 30 seconds before we need to leave the house) and I'll just lose the plot. I'll shout or cry or throw things (not breakable things and not actually AT the children but still). I think the kids are getting a bit wary of me and seem to need more and more reassurance from me. I don't really know what to do.

Hi Sugar, just sending you a {{{{hug}}}}, It;s hard isn't it (I posted only a few days ago about how up and down and low I've been feeling) Are you getting enough sleep??? only I have found it makes the biggest difference to me....Wish I could say more to make it better but just wanted to reply and say you arfe not alone

Excuse my spelling - not sure what happened there!!

Am I getting enough sleep? Let me see, DS woke me at 6 this morning, 5:45 yesterday morning, up in the middle of the night having wet the bed the other night. No. I don't get enough sleep. DS used to be a terrible sleeper and has been so much better in the last year but he was sick a couple of weeks ago and that seems to have set him right back again. I don't think that's the ONLY thing wrong though.

Sorry sugar, just trying to let you know others feel down too....I would go to the GP and talk about how you are feeling, I'm not saying just pop some pills but I wouldn't of come out of a previous depression with medication and therapy..

have you tried st john's wort? it works as well as a mild ad and is natural. I've been feeling much better since I've been taking it. Does mess with some prescription medication though (eg the contraceptive pill) so be wary of that

Hugs and cakes sugar.

We all have days when nothing goes right. When I ended up on ADs my GP really stressed the concept of the "Good enough Mum' Basically, don't stress at being perfect, just be happy knowing you've done your best. And bad days, well they just happen and tomorrow is another day.

These days, I have times when nothing goes right but I think of the good stuff in my life and shove the bad bits in the dumping bin.

One thing, I always stressed that I wasn't as good/capable as another near family member. Then I went to their house. It was nothing like I imagined, in a worse state than mine. Then I find out that despite a greater earning power than DH and me, they have no financial backup. I know it sounds petty but it made me feel a hell of a lot better about myself and my lot in life. Sometimes scratching the surface of others is good for the soul

Hugs and cakes sugar.

We all have days when nothing goes right. When I ended up on ADs my GP really stressed the concept of the "Good enough Mum' Basically, don't stress at being perfect, just be happy knowing you've done your best. And bad days, well they just happen and tomorrow is another day.

These days, I have times when nothing goes right but I think of the good stuff in my life and shove the bad bits in the dumping bin.

One thing, I always stressed that I wasn't as good/capable as another near family member. Then I went to their house. It was nothing like I imagined, in a worse state than mine. Then I find out that despite a greater earning power than DH and me, they have no financial backup. I know it sounds petty but it made me feel a hell of a lot better about myself and my lot in life. Sometimes scratching the surface of others is good for the soul

Thanks for the support. And sorry if I sounded snippy theartist.. - I'm probably not getting enough sleep!

Jeangenie - I have thought of st john's wort but as it does interfere with the contraceptive pill that's not really an option. Although I do wonder if the pills are part of the problem. We've been thinking about more permanent contraceptive solutions but it's a hard step to take.

This has just been a particularly bad day - usually I can shake it off after an hour or so but it's not half past four and I'm still feeling crap and I'm supposed to be going out tonight for our staff night out. I could really do with just going to bed but I'm going to try adn psych myself up for it.

well, I hope you can go out and have a really nice time tonight anyway

can you have some "me time" now, run a bath, take your time doing your makeup etc so that you are nice and relaxed when you head off?

go easy on yourself, and keep talking about it on here if it helps

thanks I did have a nice time last night actually - and today I feel ok. wierd.

what was so bad about yesterday was not that I momentarily lost the plot over something ridiculous but how awful I felt afterwards and how I just could not shake the feeling all day. and what's slightly worrying is that even though I'm fine today I do seem to have these "bad days" more often lately.

sweetheart, I'm there with you. those "bad days" are crap.

glad you had fun last night anyway, and make the most of the good days eh?

(I notice my bad days seem to coincide with pms, but you are on the pill so not likely, do you notice any other patterns? Do you have anyone in RL to talk to? I found things that bit easier once I stopped pretending everything was hunky dory and confided in my sister and a close friend that, actually, on occasion, I felt crap)

I've been trying to get DH to understand and to kind of take seriously just how bad I feel when I'm having a day like that but I'm still not sure he really gets it. I don't think he really believes that problems like stress and depression really exist.

As for it being PMS or hormone related - I never used to get PMS but lately I've been having all sorts of problems with my contraceptive pills and have been on 4 different pills in the last year each with different side effects. So actually I have been wondering if the pills are at least part of the problem.

Thanks for listening - def helps to have someone to "talk" to!

Know how you feel - lost the plot with DS the other evening over something trivial. Felt terrible afterwards.

I used to get PMS when on the pill and found that evening primrose oil really helped.

hi sm

have heard evening primrose oil is good too. didn't realise you could still get pms on the pill.

sounds like it might be linked a bit to the hormones in your pill sm, what does your gp think?

poor you having a dh who deosn't quite get the depression thing. that must be hard. do you have any women friends or sisters you are close enough to to unburden yourself?

one thing i've found helpful if I really lose my rag with the kids is apologise once the tantrum has passed and then put myself on the "naughty step". it sends them the message that you are not happy or proud of what you've done, and kind of clears the air a bit. mine find it hilarious and it helps reduce that feeling of "oh god what have I done they'll be traumatised for life"

hope you are in better form today anyway

Hi jeangenie. DH is trying. I phoned him at work the other day to tell him what a horrible morning I had had - and explained that it wasn't that the kids were monsters or anything but that I just didn't seem to be coping very well these days. And he was sympathetic and we talked for a while instead of rushing off the phone like he usually does at work. But then when he got home he was suprised to see that I was still unhappy.

We have also talked about sorting out our contraceptive situation-he knows I can't stay on the pill forever but it's going to take a while I think for us to actually get something done.

Everyday is like an unknown at the moment. I feel fine right now - we've got lots of family coming round later for a little party. Yesterday morning and Friday morning I was fine too. Except Friday continued to be a good day whereas yesterday I lost it by about lunchtime, swore at the kids, followed by dire warnings to repeat the words they heard me saying, followed by a period of calm where there was no shouting but I still felt totally sht. And lately this sht feeling seems to be accompanied by feeling phsycially unwell as well - I feel nauseas, my stomach hurts. Takes hours to feel normal again.

But then DH is around all day today, and everyone else comign later so I'll probably be fine. I'm usually better when there are other people around.

Thanks so much for listening.

That is, dire warnings not to repeat the words they heard me saying!!!

And I do have a close friend who would understand - in fact she's on ADs for depression herself, but doesn't ever seem to want to talk about how she's feeling. Me, i'd rather talk and stay off the pills if I can.

you poor thing, the feelings of nausea are rotten. I've had those physical manifestations of stress/depression before and it is really hard. It's a shame you can't try the St John's Wort, I do find it very helpful. have you spoken to your GP about these feelings?

it's good that you have a friend you can talk to, although it does sound like her way of approaching the depression thing doesn't quite fit with yours. I wonder whether it would be worth considering counselling, or have you already tried that?

hope you had a good time with your family anyway. Interesting that you get along better when there are more people around. are you "home alone" with the kids a lot during the week?

I do think a lot of this is linked to your sleep deprivation too though, I am much worse when the kids have me awake during the night/up early, and of course am useless at getting to bed early myself!

i've been burning a lot of lavender oil lately, just to try to keep a calm edge on things. Not sure if it helps but at least it makes me feel like I am doing something to try to manage things positively.

You are not on your own, remember that.

Hi jeanie - just wanted to say thanks for your support over the last week, I seem to be feeling a bit better at the moment - despite DS waking me at 5:45 this morning and the boiler having turned itself off for the 3rd morning in a row!

glad to hear it - take it easy and have a great Xmas

thanks, merry christmas to you too.

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Hi Pruni. I'm feeling ok at the moment - it seems to come and go, but I do seriously worry that the kids are going to become wary of me and feel that they can't rely on me.

How are you?

COME OFF THE PILL!!!

I was like amad psycho manic drepressed bitch for the last 9 months and it was all down ot the pill!

withjin a week of coming off them like i had a personailty transplant!

sugarmag - been there pet! Felt exactly the same as you a few months back so spoke to HV who arranged for me to talk to someone, I also changed my pill. I feel so much better now.
Love and best wishes
Scjneebs

Thanks for all the advice guys. I KNOW I need to come off the pill, the problem is I seem to have exhausted all the alternatives bar abstinence! This is my fourth pill in the last year. I've also tried the coil. Don't want to try injections as it's still the same hormones and if you cant' just come off it if you don't like the side effects. Can't cope with condoms, won't risk persona........

I have been looking into this new non-surgical sterilisation procedure but I can't seem to find out where in the UK it is done. I posted on the Health board becuase I know at least one mumsnetter has had it done but no one replied.

Anyway, my moods seem to have settled down for the moment but if it gets that bad again I will definitely phone my GP and talk to her again.