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I think I'm heading for another breakdown

67 replies

Ikeatears · 29/08/2015 17:16

Don't know what I want to say really. Just that. I feel like I'm on the slope again and I'm not sure I have the strength to climb back up again. Sad

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LobsterQuadrille · 04/09/2015 22:23

Hi scamp and thank you for posting - glad to hear that you made it to the doctor and yes, I can relate to the someone else pointing out that you are not quite yourself .... in my case it's my DD who says it. And, as I can't do pills, I have to try other things .....
I speak quite freely to my doctor about suicidal feelings and how they are a way for me to feel in control. I don't think it's uncommon at all to have these feelings.
I also don't think it's an issue having the pills that help you if you need them - if you can manage without them for a year, brilliant. If you need them again and they work for you - why not have them?
Hoping that all of you are OK tonight - and Nana that today's appointment went well - and Ikea that you got through the day and can relax a bit over the weekend. Sleep well, all of you.

Ikeatears · 05/09/2015 11:13

Still reading, please keep posting. Starting new ads today. Hopefully feel better soon

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LobsterQuadrille · 05/09/2015 11:44

Morning Ikea - thank you for posting. I've no idea about ads but imagine that they take a while to kick in, so hope that you are feeling OK while that happens. I totally appreciate that you don't feel like posting too much at the moment (really, I do .... as I said before, sometimes having a bath/cleaning my teeth (and I love my teeth and would hate to lose them) feels like climbing the Eiger). Hope too that your work, DH and DCs are all OK. As I said before (somewhere), there are times when you have to look after yourself first, because otherwise you can't expect to be fit to look after anyone else - especially as women, we're used to putting others' needs ahead of ours. Think of it like an oxygen mask on a flight, when you should always fit your own before your children's.

We're writing a personal statement in the lobster household .... DD is off to university next year and wants to get her 4,000 words written this weekend. I'm sure I didn't have to do one of these when we applied - maybe there was something similar and I'm just too old to remember. Some of the websites advise that all spelling and grammar must be correct but actually make errors in their own statements of advice!! I wanted to email them to make a complaint but DD said that there was no point.

Sorry for the ramble and wishing you a relaxing weekend.

Ikeatears · 05/09/2015 17:18

Hi all and welcome scamp. Not feeling great but more able to post.
Scamp, have you had any side affects with the fluoxetine? I'm quite worried about taking them. They're in the kitchen and I keep walking past them and ignoring them. It sounds like you have a supportive husband too.
Lobster. Thank you for all your concern and kind words and continued posting. It means a lot and makes me feel less alone. I'm an excellent proofreader by the way, my specialism is literacy and I've seen quite a few personal statements in my time - if you'd like another pair of eyes, I'm happy to take a look.
Nana, I hope all is ok with you - thinking about you.
Have a good weekend everyoneSmile

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Ikeatears · 06/09/2015 00:51

Can't sleep. The dc are having a 'sleepover' in the living room and I'm just say here in the dark listening to them sleep. Dh has gone to bed. I don't think he knows what to do, I don't think I do. I'm so so sad.
For a while, he sat here with me, in the dark, and just held me. I really don't deserve him. I think I'm so anxious because I'm waiting for all this to go wrong. I waiting for something terrible to happen and my little family that I've worked so hard to nurture and build will be for some reason be ripped apart. I'll do something to mess it all up. The irony is, I'm so sad and yet, I've never been so happy.
I've never felt so loved and wanted and cared for and yet I've never felt so keenly the grief of never having been loved before.
I'm almost consumed at the moment with the plight of the refugees and find myself posting long monologues on Facebook and linking to articles and petitions. I'm so lucky, maybe I'm trying to remind myself of that - I don't know?
Last time I was ill, I became so incensed by the Catholic Church view on the decision to allow gay people to marry (I am Catholic but I was appalled at their stance). I don't know whether it's because I lose my inhibitions and stop caring whether I upset people with my views or whether it's because I'm ill and becoming somehow obsessive. I can't tell the difference. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I can't handle mornings and I can't handle night time. At the moment, I can just about be 'normal' during the day. Why is that? I feel like I can go into autopilot somehow.
Very little thing at the moment seems to throw up a memory or a feeling. Books I'm reading, music I hear, programmes I watch. It feels like they're talking about me and my life, my past. I know they aren't. I'm not having delusions but they REMIND me - does that make sense?
I am so tired of this. I told the doctor. I said I can't envision the rest of my life being punctuated by 'episodes' I'm so sick of feeling scared every time I lose my temper or feel a bit down in case it's the start of being ill again. He didn't care, he didn't have an answer and wasn't interested in finding one.
I want to find an answer and I want to dig out all that horrible, old rot of painful memories and rejections and abuse and I want to clean it out of my mind for good. I just don't know how to.

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Bardolino · 06/09/2015 01:25

Didn't want to read and run. I don't have the answers, sorry. I can say that I recognise many of your feelings. I definitely recognise the almost obsessional fascination with certain subjects. What you need to tell yourself is that these thoughts and feelings are symptoms of your disease; depression is horrible. It's not easy so be kind to yourself.

If it helps, I went back on fluoxetine in May after 10+ years. My mood lifted almost immediately but I suspect that was down to relief of actually doing something about it and also easing up on myself, allowing myself to be 'ill' rather than feeling guilty because I wasn't 100%. I did crash down again but it wasn't as bad as I'd been before. 3 months later and I've kind of balanced out. Still have bad days but the better days are starting to outnumber the terrible days.

Can you see another doctor? My GP is great, really supportive. I've been lucky as I know other doctors in the practice aren't as good.

Ikeatears · 06/09/2015 01:52

Thanks Bardolino. Do you think that's what they are then? Are they obsessional thoughts? Am I really mentally ill? Shit. I know I am really. I always knew I was. Last time I was I'll i admitted it but I blocked it out again. Is this what people think of as crazy? I worry about all the conversations I have with people because I feel like I'm speaking to fast or talking about things they would have no interest in and normally and I'd know that and not bring it up. I feel like people laugh at me behind my back. I feel like they know that I'm messed up and that they can see that brain is whirring. I don't know why I feel like this. I have lots of good friends but I don't think my family could ever accept that I'm not well because they would use it to either turn on each in blame or think of it as a reflection on them.
I don't mean MY family, my little family. I mean the rest of them. Dh's family would understand but they have their stuff going on at the moment.
I think people know. I don't want anyone to know. Except for dh and a couple of very close friends that I know I can trust. I feel like I'm fighting against my life. I want to live it and enjoy but I'm fighting that enjoyment all the time I'm so sick of fighting.
I'm going to go upstairs and try to get some sleep.
I feel sick

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Ikeatears · 06/09/2015 01:54

Sorry for all the typos and errors. I just wanted to get it all down get it out of my brain and away from me.

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LobsterQuadrille · 06/09/2015 07:57

Good morning Ikea - and Nana, Scamp, Bardolino and anyone else. Ikea, I'm really sorry that you had such a lousy time of it last night but glad (sort of( that you were able to come on here and post about how you felt. I can't, as you know, advise on meds but I have heard fluoxetine mentioned here more than once - is this something you are on or is this an option, even a short term one to get you back on track? I know you said that you had started ads and from friends' reactions in the past, these take time to kick in.

First and foremost, if you are crazy then I must be too, because such a lot of what you say makes so much sense. Yes to the obsessing about particular news items and stories that we hear and making them a kind of focal point. Part of this might be guilt, that we (in our comfortable homes) don't have the kind of obvious and immediate suffering that others have. You do NOT have to have any kind of mental illness to experience this - people with no history of MH have been known to sell all their possessions and go abroad to help others. My own brother, years ago, read a news article about a mother who died of a heart attack in her house, with two very small children who starved to death. This affected him so badly that he could not concentrate and, although a caring soul, he is a hard headed financier with so MH issues of any sort. That can happen to anyone.

However, other aspects that you almost obliquely allude to do suggest that you carry guilt for being happy. Does this go back to a childhood of being expected to achieve the highest standard and feeling that you had fallen short? Or of seeing approval and somehow not getting it, or of not feeling worthy of happiness and having a self destruct mechanism in place? I could just be projecting here, of course ... my parents (and I am not in the least in favour of assigning blame to anyone, incidentally - I feel responsible for all of my own emotions and reactions) have always been quite distant and expectant of perfection in their offspring. Therein lies the road to disappointment ......

If you really feel that your doctor doesn't care, it's the doctor you need to change, not yourself. And you DO deserve your DH - I know that's a hard thing for you to accept, but you come across on an anonymous internet site as intelligent, articulate, compassionate, strong and empathetic. Someone whom you describe as wonderful has seen fit to marry you (definitely not as a charity case or to rescue you) and you have produced children whom I am sure are equally wonderful. You offer to proofread personal statements of the DD of a stranger on the internet - even in the midst of your own soul searching - thank you very much indeed for that - I'm a proofreader myself in my spare time and one of my own crazy obsessions is misplaced or missing apostrophes and general grammatical errors. I have corrected so many signs with an eyeliner and written various stroppy emails to DD's school (a grammar school, no less!) about their use of the reflexive pronoun and the dative case. I wish I wasn't so obsessive about this - I have often been told to "get a life" and "you can't have much to worry about". Paranoia is another one - I've walked around town convinced that people are talking about me. Most people are wrapped up in their own little worlds and do not consider others as much as we think they do.

I really hope that you managed to get some sleep. Post today if you feel like it but put no pressure on yourself at all (if that's possible) - I try not to write too much because it can be overwhelming, but unfortunately am one of life's ramblers. The sun is shining here in the South East - get outside for a while if you can - yes, cliched but the air is healing in its own way. Sending you positive energy, Ikea.

LobsterQuadrille · 06/09/2015 07:59

Sorry - typos in mine too - that will teach me for saying that I proofread!!

Bardolino · 06/09/2015 09:37

Listen to Lobster, a very wise person.

I hope you were able to sleep. All these thoughts and worries, your brain working on overdrive, the intense pressure of too much feeling and too many emotions- it's all a symptom. It

Bardolino · 06/09/2015 09:40

Sorry, hit Post too soon.

It sounds impossible but try not to worry about it. Concentrate on being good to yourself. Celebrate achievements: getting out of bed in the morning, getting through another day. It will get easier.

Ikeatears · 06/09/2015 18:34

Hi thanks for the replies. I've started the Fluoxetine and it has knocked me for six. I was sick and aching and slept all afternoon but I do feel a better now so I'm going to stick with it and just see how it goes.
Why do think I feel so bad during the night and first thing in the morning? I re-read my posts from last night and it's like they're written by somebody else. I barely recognise what I've written. Do you think that's common?
Hope everyone is feeling ok.
Nana, not heard from you for a couple of days - hope you're ok Smile

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LobsterQuadrille · 06/09/2015 18:55

Hi Ikea
I scrolled back after my last post and saw that you had already started the Fluoxetine, so I googled and found: www.nhs.uk/medicine-guides/pages/MedicineSideEffects.aspx?condition=Depression&medicine=fluoxetine

OK, that didn't seem to work as a link! Anyway, seems that nausea, insomnia and tiredness are common side effects for more than 10% of users (which is fairly high). I'd say that if you feel better then definitely give it a couple of weeks and don't worry too much about the rest of it, unless your symptoms worsen, obviously.

I'll check back later - we're still doing university selection .... as well as draft one of the personal statement (argh .....). Other than that, it's been a good day.

Hope everyone has a good evening Smile

scampbeast · 15/09/2015 17:54

I feel like I hardly ever get onto my computer anymore, just caught up with reading.
Ikea, I'm always shattered when I start back on the pills, I sometimes put it down to getting more sleep without the dreams being as bad and my body realizing what its been missing and wanting more sleep.
I have managed to talk myself into doing some important things like booking my MOT and some phone calls I should have done last month. Still feeling anxious about lots of things but I do see myself getting better.
I know what you mean about family and friends, Some of mine are great and understand that sometimes I just need to blab on about a problem without them trying to solve it for me. Others just don't get it. I tend to pick and choose who I tell now.

I think the waiting/expecting things to go wrong is just part of the condition, part of me feels that I don't have a right to be happy, and shouldn't be as it just invites a disaster to happen. (I can tell the pills are helping as even when I type that I think that it is silly, but I know that is the way I was just a couple of weeks ago).

Ikeatears · 16/09/2015 12:47

Sorry I haven't been back. It's been rough. I've told work I've got a bug and I haven't made it in all week. I told dh I'd go back tomorrow but I've just phoned in sick again :-( I really need to pull myself together. This can't go on :-(

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Ikeatears · 17/09/2015 08:41

Dh gone away with work until late tomorrow night. He's dropped the kids with the cm and made me promise not to spend the whole day in bed. My friend came round last night because he was panicking about going and promised she'll be around if I need her. I feel like a small child being babysat but I can't seem to reassure him myself so if it makes him worry a bit less then I need to put up with it. She's been a fantastic support. I'm sure I don't deserve either of them :-(

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