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Original poster

Don't want to be here anymore

77 replies

Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 01:39

Life is a total mess

OP posts:
Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 02:11

Yes, we are still friends, but I'm really struggling with that

OP posts:
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:12

That must be really difficult if you still have feelings.

Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 02:13

It wasn't my decision and I'm still in love, sound like a stupid school girl

OP posts:
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:14

Not at all. We can't help who we stein love with.

When did you break up? Where are you living now?

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:15

*are in

prorsum · 04/06/2015 02:18

No you don't. Are you under Mental Heath Services

Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 02:19

Not under a mental health team but I'm on antidepressants, have been for 10 years

OP posts:
WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:21

It sounds like they've stopped working. Have they been reviewed any time recently?

Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 02:22

I upped the dose last year I think. im on a pretty high dose already

OP posts:
prorsum · 04/06/2015 02:25

You had two very traumatic events happen to you recently plus the loss of your baby and the abuse. Anti-depressants are useful but for now they are not enough. You're overwhelmed right now and need help. Samaritans can be of immediate help.

Can you get an appointment with your GP later this morning. Tell them how you are feeling.

Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 02:28

What's the point? What can they do?

OP posts:
prorsum · 04/06/2015 02:28

Obviously I'm no a doctor but I do have long-term experience of antis. Sometimes a change of them is needed, they need to be tweaked. Your GP should have a look at different kinds of medication. The highest does is not the best in the long-term imo. Also counselling as an emergency.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:31

Agreed - just raising the dose can be of little/no help. Sometimes a change is needed - sometimes the ones you are on just stop working. Your gp can really help with this. You need robe honest with them and tell them exactly how bad you are feeling.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 02:33

And last year is actually quite a long time for the meds having been reviewed.

The Samaritans can listen, let you get everything out. They can be a real voice for you. Human contact. All that can make things seem less bleak. It can't change what you are going through but can help with how you feel, right at this moment.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/06/2015 03:44

I hope you've managed to get some sleep tomuchcake, and things seem slightly brighter in the morning. Please do try to get an emergency gp appointment, and remember there's always someone here to talk to. I'm up all 'night', as I'm in Aus and it's day time here. Take care.

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/06/2015 04:00

Hello Tomuchcake, a little while ago I was in a dark place and so very desperate. I called the Samaritans and spoke to them for 2 hours, I can honestly say that night they saved my life.

If you feel like you have nothing to lose then please call them, they will help.

You have been through so much and it's understandable that you are at breaking point but try and find a tiny bit of strength. Having gone through all of that, you are strong.

Your ADs should be working but it sounds like you have got used to them. Please see your GP for a review.

I'm here for the next few hours if you want to talk x

prorsum · 04/06/2015 08:16

Hello Tomuchcake. I hope you've got some rest. Please contact your GP today.

pettywitchinlondon · 04/06/2015 08:53

Do the sameritons do a webchat? If had several of these things happen to me, but didn't affect me enough to want to call but I can imagine a web chat is much easier than calling.

Anyhow just because no one depends on you doesn't mean your not important. We are only on this earth for a short time, the one thing that matters is if we make a difference.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 04/06/2015 09:29

Hello OP

We are really sorry you are going through this. Have an unmumsnetty hug from all of us at HQ. Flowers

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are just going to move this thread over to Mental Health.

Thanks

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/06/2015 15:08

Tomuchcake - how are you today?

Justusemyname · 04/06/2015 15:10

Just seen this, tmc. How are you?

handfulofcottonbuds · 04/06/2015 17:45

Hope she's okay Sad

Original poster
Tomuchcake · 04/06/2015 18:32

Thank you.

Still here

OP posts:
handfulofcottonbuds · 04/06/2015 23:57

Oh thank goodness! How are you?

chocolatelime · 05/06/2015 00:10

So sorry to hear that you are going through all this. I have faced some very dark places recently myself & sometimes even the thought of making that phone call to the Samaritans seems too hard to do. You have had some horrible events in your life recently and it is totally understandable that you are struggling. Please reach out to people that can help, whether it be the Samaritans, GP, friend, all of us on Mumsnet. However difficult it seems. There are people out there that can help. I wish I could give you a big hug. Please keep talking to us. You can also email to the Samaritans if you feel that you can not talk over the phone to them at the moment.