Heya, I don't really know what to say but I 100% understand what you have written. There's something very nasty and insidous, the nasty side of human nature showing through with a lot of MH staff, and the whole way the system is set up. I think some of it is the "just following orders" mentality, where they have to turn so many people away due to funding that they sort of make up reasons in their head and pin it all on the patient, they have to justify to themselves what they are forced to do.
It's disgusting though, I think they should be honest, and write in the notes that you need X help but there is no funding for it/you don't tick the zillion contradictory access criteria. But I experienced awful things from services ten years ago when there was more funding - some really nasty staff and ethos. IME the actual staff have got better - just with times changing and newer staff joining - but budget cuts make the overall access to services the same.
I also know what you mean about police. I find them, on the whole, ok round here but where I used to live they seemed to really have it in for me. I was criminalised over something very questionable (as in, whether I'd even broken the law/whether it was in public interest to prosecute/whether I was of sound mental state etc) whilst when I was attacked in my own home and thrown out in the street (November, rainy, no shoes) they wouldn't come and called me a "drama queen". Thank fuck scary tough pub landlady got onto them and made them come. I awoke to intrusive memories/flashbacks about this today. Just because it happened doesn't mean I deserved it, but it is frightening and leaves scars, and people don't understand because in their world that stuff doesn't happen.
I do understand. I wish I could scream from the rooftops about what's happened. Or make a hidden camera documentary, or a film, and get the public on side. It's so hard though because it's so complex and subtle in many ways - they can say "In our clinical opinion" and that's the last word.
Are you having any therapy? The only most helpful thing CMHT did for me was writing evidence letters for PIP, and I use the money to pay for therapy. Sounding like a psychopathic nutter in your notes actually comes in useful here...
In many ways it's like an abusive relationship with them - they have all the power, you have to please them to get what you need to survive, and so on. Sometimes it's time to walk away, at least mentally. I'm constantly trying to keep in that mindset with them... they discharged me and won't touch me with a bargepole now, though. It's actually easier though, I find. I think it's very rare they can ever give someone what they truly need, simply becaus of the nature of services and funding. So we have to find other ways of doing that.
Is there anything you fancy doing? I've been looking at OU courses - I say this as someone who's spent most of the last 2 weeks curled up crying, by the way.
I should end by saying something wise and encouraging, but the mood I'm in I'd want to punch myself in the head for my own twee-ness, so I won't... 
