Really worried about DP

[rubydoobydoo]

As a bit of a back story - DP had an episode of psychosis when he was younger, he was sectioned at the time. He made a great recovery and since then hasn't had to take medication.

He has a few lingering after effects - mainly anxiety, sometimes feelings of paranoia.

Recently he's been under a lot of stress at work which seems to have come to a head - and over the last three days there has been a big change in his behaviour, and it's scaring me - we've been together 7 years and I've never seen him like this.

He is talking very fast all the time and the thing he is saying seem disjointed.
He thinks everyone at his work are out to get him, are talking about him behind his back, and going through his emails.
He's getting confused over what he's said at work, and what he's said to me.

He has also become deeply religious - he is a Christian anyway but this has been more extreme lately, he talks of end times and religious experiences incessantly (his psychosis was very much based around religion)

I was half way through posting a thread in Chat earlier (with his full agreement) when he suddenly agreed to humour me and phone 111. The operator asked to speak to me to answer the questions, as DP was struggling - they agreed something wasn't right, and got a GP to call who then arranged to see us in OOH.

The GP has arranged for the crisis team to call tomorrow - they have both our numbers, and we have theirs now which is a relief.

DP thinks there's nothing wrong, and it's just stress and lack of sleep. I think it's something more, the GP agreed after meeting him the once.

I'm just really scared for him. He's in bed now hopefully getting some much needed sleep, I'm sitting here wide awake shaking with worry!

Can anyone who has had dealings with their crisis team give me an idea what might happen next? It's all new to me, I just want to support DP the best I can.

Sorry you are going through this it sounds very stressful but I'm so pleased you have sought help already.

I used to work in a mental health setting although not with crisis team. However my understanding is that they usually come out (2 nurses usually) and will speak to your DP and yourself to get a picture of what is happening. They will assess whether your DP is posing any danger to himself or others - but nothing in your op sounds like this is the case.

Assuming they agree that there is something going on - which sounds like a possibly psychosis - they will formulate a plan based on the severity and the risks. Sectioning someone is only done in severe cases - they always try and manage people at home. They are likely to discuss him with their team psychiatrist who might come then and see him and potentially suggest medication. They should provide ongoing support for yourself and your DP.

Hope things go ok when they come

Thanks for the reply - I managed to get some sleep in the end, DP is still in bed so hopefully he has too! The GP last night advised he double his normal dose of zopiclone to make sure, and I haven't heard him apart from a couple of trips to the bathroom so fingers crossed that has worked.

No word from the crisis team yet, although they could have left a message for DP. I'd better tidy up if they're coming here!

I definitely don't think he is posing a danger to himself or others, and hopefully he just needs a bit of help to get through this.

Glad you managed to get some rest. If they aren't in touch soon could you give them a call just to make sure that they haven't forgotten?

You've definitely done the right thing in getting some help, hope you hear from the crisis team soon, my DH had an episode a bit like this recently so I know how scary it is, thinking of you both

It sounds like your DP is experiencing another psychotic episode maybe brought on by the stress at work. I am no medic but suffer from MH condition. The thing is once you've had MH problems, there is an increased risk of the recurring. You've absolutely done the right thing and as others have said DP will be assessed by the crisis team (usually a Community Psychiatric Nurse) and a doctor maybe.

The other thing to remember is that when people are psychotic (as in out of touch with reality) they don't realise there is anything wrong with them, and so they do sometimes have to be sectioned in order for them to get the right treatment in hospital, although because there is a shortage of hospital provision, more people are treated in the community now, and that can be a better option.

Sorry just realised I'm saying more or less the same thing as PP - take care of yourself - do you have someone who can be with you while your DP is in this fragile state.

Thanks all, I've never had to deal with anything like this before and it's so hard! I've had to come to work- DP did get up before I left, and although he's managed to get some sleep now he's still not right.

I called him on my break and he was quite nasty to me, just the illness talking I know - and he said the crisis team had called but was a bit vague on the details, he said I can call them if I want.

I then rang my mum and cried on the phone for the rest of the hour - then went and cried on my manager at work too who was lovely and agreed I can come in late tomorrow if needed.

I've now spoken to the crisis team and have an appointment for DP tomorrow - I hope he'll still agree to come as he was different again tonight :(

I got a message from his mum earlier too, she is also worried but told me not to worry, she got the same nastiness directed towards me the last time he was ill and he's acting the same now.

Having the appointment in place and speaking to his mum has helped me a lot, I was starting to feel a little bit like I was going mad after my last conversation with DP!

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Hope your DH is feeling better now sooperdooper

I'm pleased there's an appointment sorted now, hope you can move forward from there once he had been seen. I've had experience of a family member being mentally unwell and it is horrendously difficult. Remember - as you say - it's the illness talking.

Been where you are, Ruby and it's a horrible, lonely place to be. It's good that you have an appointment soon. Try to remember that it IS the illness talking although I know how hard that is - you just want everything to be the way it used to be. The hardest thing for me was that nobody could explain why it had happened or how long it would take to sort. We are several years down the line now but it did come right in the end and we are now closer than ever. Hardest thing I've ever done though. It's good that you have family support. Be kind to yourself- you didn't cause it, nor can you fix it by yourself.

Well it's been a bit of a mixed bag today!
I've only had about 3 hours sleep since I last posted so please excuse any mistakes.

The day started with DP still being horrible to me, saying I was nagging him all the time- this was before I even spoke to him. I'm also apparently trying to control everything because I offered to drive to the appointment.

He then arranged to go and see his dad - a 45 minute drive away, which worried me but I couldn't stop him (plus I thought talking to his dad would help) - he said he'd meet me at the hospital 10 minutes before the appointment, even though he didn't know where the mental health unit was, and would not budge on this.

After 80 minutes I got a call from his worried dad asking if he'd set off when he said - I confirmed he had, so spent a other 20 minutes panicking until I got a call from DP saying he was now with his dad, and asking me to text him the postcode and directions to the mental health unit - which I did.

An hour later I got another call from his worried dad - DP had just got up and left without saying goodbye! They did have a good chat though, his dad says DP was very confused and kept repeating himself, but he wasn't as bad as he was 10 years ago - which is a bit of a relief.

At 3.30 I still hadn't heard from DP, so set off for the hospital. He called me just after saying he was going to be late, he'd be as quick as he could and to meet him at the hospital.

At 4.30 still no word (so that's 2.5 hours for what was supposed to be a 45 minute journey) , called him and his phone was going straight to voicemail. I spoke to the nurse who was meant to be seeing him who advised I call the police.
I called his dad first to see if he had heard from him - he hadn't and also thought I should call the police.

Sod's law - whilst I was giving details to the police he called. He had just arrived at the walk in centre ( I'd told him several times the appointment wasn't there as he kept asking). I told the nurse who said it wasn't too late to see him, called the police back and cancelled the missing person report, and called his parents to reassure him. I then legged it to the walk in centre on the opposite side of the hospital grounds, to find him at the reception desk filling in a form to be seen there, although I'd just told him again he was in the wrong place.

He couldn't say why it took him so long, the nurse asked him which way he went and he said the long winding way - so I suspect he probably took a few wrong turns.

I think the appointment itself actually went well. DP was trying and failing to convince the two nurses he was just a bit stressed. They saw us separately too, and reassured me they could tell he's much more ill than he is making out. I told them some of the things he's been doing and saying.

He's being referred to a doctor tomorrow - which he's agreed to. I've asked the crisis team to let me know when his appointment is as well as just telling him, which they think is a good idea after today's fun.

He's also agreed I can attend the appointment with him, which is good!

I think he's relieved he's getting help, even if he won't admit it to me or to himself.

I was slightly worried I'd lose him again on the way back home, but he made it and was nice to me!

I then had to go to work, but have since heard from his mum - his dad has spoken to him and also thinks he sounds better than he did earlier.

Tomorrow is a new day so will take it as it comes!

You're doing so well OP - it sounds so difficult but I'm pleased that the team recognised the problem and hopefully when he sees the doctor they will be able to give some treatment to start making him feel better. Just remember he's not himself at the moment and it's the illness talking hope you both get some rest.

Great that you and he were taken seriously and are going to get some help. You can relax a bit now as what happens now has been taken out of your hands . You have done all the right things to get him some help.

Thanks for the support, it means a lot - struggling today.
(Only had 4 hours sleep again so probably not helping, I'm off work for a few days now so can catch up after today!)

The hospital rang at 09.15, offering DP an appointment at 1430.

And then it started. He's been shouting at me since about my trying to control him and nag him and organise him, telling me if I say one more thing then it's my last chance. I'm apparently trying to get him locked up too, and convince him he's crazy.

All I did (as yesterday) was ask who's driving, and if he wanted to go and do something else he needs to do before or after (so I could decide whether to go back to bed for a couple of hours or not!)

I'm fearing a repeat of yesterday. He asked me to text him the directions - I said that I'd done that yesterday (meaning he should have it on his phone still) and he said "I was with my dad wasn't I?"

Hoping we don't get a repeat of yesterday. I've now written down the directions, driving and walking including times he needs to set off, on a piece of paper - he was happier with this, although he ripped off a bit and wrote on it "might walk without you" and gave it me back.

I feel at the end of my tether already, he won't let me say anything at all to him about anything without shouting at me - I don't know if I can cope with much more of this. :(

Oh gosh it sounds horrendously difficult. It doesn't sound like he had much insight into his current illness which makes things more difficult for you. I really hope he gets to the appointment. You are doing fantastically.

He's gone out for a walk now - his car's still outside. I asked if he was coming back before the appointment. He cut me off and said "No I'll speak - I'll be where I said I was going to be at the time I said" - and then went out - in the pouring rain so he'll be soaking too.

I believe him that he fully intends to go to the appointment - it's just he has a skewed sense of time and reality at the moment so whether he makes it is another story!

I called in the cavalry and got his dad to ring him, he trusts his dad more. His dad didn't have much luck with him either, and now either his phone has died or he's struggling to work it (he has been struggling to use his phone the last couple of days).

I have written down what happened this morning, and my concerns he won't engage with any help after today, just so I don't miss anything - I want to go through it with the doctor, hopefully with him there. If he doesn't come back before the appointment I'm going to head to the hospital and hope he shows up there. It's about 3 miles from where we live and he is on foot so I really don't know. :(

Oh this is so hard for you. I suspect DP has some awareness that he could be admitted to hospital and is scared, hence his nastiness to you. It really does sound like he needs a very urgent MH assessment. I know his apt is 2.30 this afternoon - just hope he makes it. Is he seeing a psychiatrist for the appointment. I think you need to call in all the support you can for yourself in dealing with this at the moment.

Hope he gets the help he needs ASAP.

He didn't come back so I came to the hospital anyway. He was here - phew! Still being horrible to me. He wouldn't let me go in with him, he's in with the doctor and the same psych nurse from yesterday - I'm sitting in the waiting room trembling!

Pleased he is there. The nurse from yesterday knows what's been going on so will raise concerns with the doctor even if your DP doesn't tell them everything.

Agree with nana. He must feel very scared -and you too. At least now you can let the professionals take over .

I have had psychosis. It is awful for everyone involved.
He will truly believe the things he is saying. I found I became angry and agitated when people told me I was talking nonsense. Listening to him talk will go a long way. You probably won't even need to say much, if anything.

He will probably be given anti psychotic meds which will knock him out for most of the day.

You probably don't want to hear this, but psychosis is usually followed by depression, often severe.

Do you have kids? If so, please do not leave him alone with them. You are only hearing some of what is going on in his head and you have no idea what the rest of it could be. Also, psychosis is terrifying for a child to witness.

He will get better, but it is a slow process. Stay strong x

How's things Ruby - think of you and poor DP - mental illness is a torment.

Thinking about you, Ruby. Hope today went ok.

Hi - it's been a very long day, I am now having a few drinks before I go to bed and sleep for as long as I need!

DP has been sectioned. It's a relief in a way as he is now getting the help he needs, but I'm quite shellshocked it escalated so quickly. He was getting more and more agitated at the hospital - the doctor tried to persuade him to be admitted voluntarily but DP kept insisting he was fine, whilst acting the opposite of fine :(

He was acting almost childlike when I got to the hospital and he was there, then the hostility towards me returned. He was actually hiding round the corner from me when we were waiting for another doctor to assess him, and popping out to glare sat me every now and again.

Even reading my first post back it was only 2 days ago I thought he'd be fine at home with the right meds!

After he got to the ward I went home to get him some things - I've taken him a bag of munchies in, AND his bible (he thinks I want him sectioned because I don't like the fact he's a christian, so thought the bible may help!)

He was sitting in the exact same position I left him in, and when I offered him his things he just walked over to the opposite side of the room and stood facing away from me, after saying "don't forget - i warned you".

I've had a lovely chat with his sister tonight - she contacted me earlier as he'd sent her a strange email and she remembers the first time it happened - turn out she's been desparately worried about him since too.

DP also called me from the ward very confused as to why he is there. He kept asking me to come and pick him up, and he doesn't understand why he can't come home. He was also quite agitated about something of his he didn't have - so after speaking to the ward I got a taxi back there as I'd been drinking and took it in for him.

I'm off to bed soon, phone will be turned off so I can finally get some sleep! I'll go and visit DP tomorrow, he may well tell me to fuck off but I'm prepared for it.

He's at the very least in the right place now!

mawbroon thanks for the insight from the other side!
He truly does believe what he's saying. I was trying to do as you said and just listen to what he was saying - but even when I wasn't saying anything DP just kept saying "let me finish" as though I was interrupting him. His dad said he was doing the same with him too.

The ward have said he's quite agitated and restless tonight, they though it was best I didn't go up when I took him the thing he wanted!

Thanks for the update ruby. It sounds like in the nicest possible way that it's a good thing your DP is in hospital for assessment and treatment. It must be so scary for both of you, and awful for you to see him like this. Just be there for him I think is all you can do - and again remember it's the illness talking. It might take time but your lovely DP is still there. Hope you get some much needed rest