Really worried about DP

[rubydoobydoo]

As a bit of a back story - DP had an episode of psychosis when he was younger, he was sectioned at the time. He made a great recovery and since then hasn't had to take medication.

He has a few lingering after effects - mainly anxiety, sometimes feelings of paranoia.

Recently he's been under a lot of stress at work which seems to have come to a head - and over the last three days there has been a big change in his behaviour, and it's scaring me - we've been together 7 years and I've never seen him like this.

He is talking very fast all the time and the thing he is saying seem disjointed.
He thinks everyone at his work are out to get him, are talking about him behind his back, and going through his emails.
He's getting confused over what he's said at work, and what he's said to me.

He has also become deeply religious - he is a Christian anyway but this has been more extreme lately, he talks of end times and religious experiences incessantly (his psychosis was very much based around religion)

I was half way through posting a thread in Chat earlier (with his full agreement) when he suddenly agreed to humour me and phone 111. The operator asked to speak to me to answer the questions, as DP was struggling - they agreed something wasn't right, and got a GP to call who then arranged to see us in OOH.

The GP has arranged for the crisis team to call tomorrow - they have both our numbers, and we have theirs now which is a relief.

DP thinks there's nothing wrong, and it's just stress and lack of sleep. I think it's something more, the GP agreed after meeting him the once.

I'm just really scared for him. He's in bed now hopefully getting some much needed sleep, I'm sitting here wide awake shaking with worry!

Can anyone who has had dealings with their crisis team give me an idea what might happen next? It's all new to me, I just want to support DP the best I can.

Forgot to add, no we don't have children. We have a few cats - he offered me custody of HIS cats earlier

Dear OP, what a difficult and stressful situation. I'm so glad for you and him that he is in hospital.

I just wanted to tell you I've had episodes of psychosis in the past and like mawb says, it's awful for everyone concerned. The right antipsychotic can work wonders. Try to remain optimistic that he can be treated. Psychosis is frightening, but it IS treatable. It may take a long time, but there IS hope and possibility and a positive future for you both

Also, as your DP is Christian, can you suggest to the staff and him to use the hospital chaplaincy service. I was sectioned for several months once and the chaplains really, really helped to get me through the experience. Just visits from them daily or a couple of times a week can make a massive difference. The hospital I was in had a church service on Sundays, and when I was well enough, I went to that. It wasn't in some ways brilliant, crammed into a random room, lots of very ill people etc, but it was somehow one of the most meaningful religious experiences I've had.

Try to stay safe yourself most of all though. It can be very, very hard to be with someone who is very mentally ill, if they are accusing you of plotting against them etc. Please look after yourself. You sound like a very wonderful partner, and he's a lucky man to have you. Keep remembering that. Do be kind to yourself. Get plenty of rest.

I sincerely wish you all the best. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Things will get easier, but they might not get better immediately. Un-mumsnetty but I am sending you huge virtual (((hugs))).

Your experience last night so mirrors ours from ten years ago. I went to a GP appointment with him and the GP sent us straight to the psychiatric unit . I didn't expect that. The longest walk I ever took was down the corridor after the door clicked and locked. It was the best thing for us though. I got a rest from the incessant worry, and he, eventually, got the help he so desperately needed. Be kind to yourself. Sleep, eat, chill. You will eventually need all your resources, but for now it is the time to let someone else take over. Don't blame yourself. You didn't cause this, nor can you fix it, but it IS fixable. I spent do long trying to work out why it happened before I realised that it's pointless to do that. It HAS happened and you can't change that. PM me any time you want.

SO glad your DP is in hospital Ruby and fully expected that he would need t be sectioned under the Mental Health Act, as he is clearly very mentally ill at the moment. As others have said, he will believe his thoughts, because he is suffering delusions which is what happens with this kind of MI. It's best not to try to tell him what he's thinking/saying isn't true because that could just make him more agitated, but maybe acknowledge that he's very distressed, although nothing will really register with him until the medication starts to kick in, and it will, as anti-psychotic drugs are very effective, but like all drugs they have unwanted side effects, though this varies with individuals.

Don't "buy into" his delusions (e.g. taking the bible because he thinks you are against him being a Christian) - although I can see why you thought this was a good idea. He is not thinking rationally at all, and so it's not much use trying to meet his irrational thoughts with rational ones if you see what I mean.

I've been an Inpatient twice (severe depression) not psychosis and MH wards vary of course, but time goes very slowly and there is not a lot of support really - (well that was my experiences both times) the nurses make sure patients take their meds and that they eat etc. Much depends on the consultant psychiatrist who oversees IPs and the particular staff of course, but it's by far the safest place for your DP at the moment. Maybe once he is feeling a bit better you can take him things to help pass the time away. There is usually an Occupational Therapist on the ward but until DP is starting to lose his delusional thoughts (which could take some time) he probably won't be wanting to access anything they organise.

It's good that you can talk to his sister and parents as they have seen it happen before, and they will obviously support you, which you certainly need. You might find it helpful to look at the MIND website or RE-THINK. Not sure what the diagnosis is for your DP - possibly psychotic episode. Do you know how long it lasted the time before - presumably he made a full recovery. Incidentally this kind of MH problem is always inherited even if there is no one in the extended family that suffered, it could have arisen anywhere in the family tree.

And take care of you......

Ruby just wanted to say, you're fantastic!
Sending you and DP big hugs and best wishes.

Thanks again for all experiences on both sides!

He did fully recover both times it happened - most recently it took a couple of months, and his mum said that wasn't as long as the first time. He does have a family history of mental illness on both sides of the family, I don't know all the specifics. Both of his sisters are being treated for bipolar.

I know he was seeing a consultant this morning so may know more regarding a diagnosis.

I feel so much better today after finally having some sleep! Although I'm still really worried it's easier to relax knowing he's getting help now and I'm not going to lose him whilst trying to get him there again!
I'm going to see DP soon, I haven't spoken to him yet but his mum has and thinks he sounded a bit better earlier - although he has been so up and down I'm prepared he won't be when I go.

I forgot to pack him any pants in my rush so will take a few pairs of boxers in - ooops! I'll also take a few books in, he does NOT read so I've got a selection of different ones to try - nothing too heavy, couple of comedies and a thriller.

Glad you're feeling a bit more positive, Ruby. It's good to know he's getting the help he needs and you are getting a bit of a rest. Don't expect miracles, though. These things take a while to sort and the meds take a bit of time to kick in and to get the dosage right. Hope your visit is a positive one.

Just called DP to say I'm on the way, he sounds loads better, he seems to understand why he's there a bit more now. The meds are obviously starting to kick in!

Now I've actually seen DP, I can confirm he's about 10 times better than he was yesterday! He still doesn't understand quite how bad he was - but he knows he's ill now and it will take some time to get better. He was pleased to see me and wasn't horrible to me.
He kept asking if I had anything to do with the decision to get him sectioned, so he doesn't fully trust me yet.

He also said other people on the ward told him I'd been groping people on the way out and asked me if that was true (we will laugh about this one day! ) - he at least believed me when I said that I hadn't groped anybody.

He just wants to come home - and I want him to. He says it's not helping him being surrounded by so many people who are so much more ill than he is - he is also very into fitness and can't even go out for a walk there. I'm actually inclined to agree he'd be better at home now.

He's seeing a doctor in the morning, I'm going too - so we'll see what happens! :)

I am glad to hear he seems better today, but recovery is a slow process and will not happen instantly.
You might laugh about it one day as you say, but my experience of looking back at the things I said and did when I was unwell is that I find it very distressing. Please don't ever joke about it in the future unless he does it first.

Don't worry, I will never joke about any of it - I think it's best to not even talk about it - plan is to let him recover at his own pace and talk about it only when he wants to. (Sorry if I sounded crass there, humour is my way of dealing with crap sometimes.)

I'm glad your DP is improving. Sounds like he is already on the road to recovery which is brilliant.

So glad you feel better about things today, Ruby. It can be a frustratingly slow illness to sort out, but your resilience will help you. Mental wards can be scary places, and the better he feels the more disturbing it may feel. It's good that he wants home but recognises that he is where he needs to be for the present moment. Hopefully today's meeting will give you a bit more insight into his treatment and prognosis.

I've managed to wangle some leave for DP this morning - so we went to vote, went home for a bit, and went for a bit of a walk too which was nice

He 's still a lot better, not there yet but getting there. He still feels I'm somehow responsible for him being there, but he's allowing me to help and not being nasty now.
He still doesn't think he's as ill as he really is, the doctor said the same.

The working diagnosis is that he's had a manic episode, and will probably be in for a few more days yet. They've slightly increased the dose for his antipsychotic, and are going to look into finding him a private room rather than the dorm he's currently in.

We're both taking each day at a time, and we'll get there in the end!

So pleased ruby that DP is doing so well, but don't rush too much on discharge, better that he gets the meds well into his system first, and I think you work shifts don't you, which means that he'll be on his own for much of the time, as he won't be fit enough to work. Oh god I didn't realise they still had "dorms" on psych wards. I had my own room and there were no shared rooms in the hospital I was in - they did away with them some years ago.

Can I just sound a note of caution to make sure DP continues to take the meds after discharge as a lot of people stop them because they feel better and that of course usually causes relapse.

I'm glad you're hanging in there OP. I've been thinking of you.

You sound such a lovely and brave person.

When I was very manic/psychotic and had been sectioned, I blamed my husband terribly, because he had the temerity to actually agree with the Dr's that I was ill... but gradually things got better, and then I realised that he was on my side- but not until I was much better. Years on, I don't blame him at all (still feel very guilty that I ever did), but am able to recognise that my blaming him was part of the horrible illness.

Stay strong OP. You will get through this.

NanaNina I couldn't believe he has to share a room either! There's 6 beds all together, and although there are curtains around the beds someone in the next bed keeps shouting and singing in the night, and another room mate keeps putting the lights on and off.

Not great for someone who already has trouble sleeping.

There are only two private rooms on the whole ward - one of the nurses is going to try and persuade the lad in one of them into a temporary swap.

Glad he is making progress Ruby. One of the most distressing things for my husband was having to share space with other people going through trauma of various kinds. I think there are two kinds of people in mental health wards- those like our men who are having an episode of some kind and will return to function wholeheartedly in society soon, and those with recurring problems who find themselves there again and again. The better your man gets, the stranger he will find it there, but it seems they are beginning to sort him out. Heed Nana's wise words, she has been where he is right now!

He didn't get the private room - he did however stock up on ear plugs earlier and I've just popped back in with a sleep mask so it should be an easier night for him tonight!

I mentioned this thing about "dorms" to my CPN yesterday and she couldn't believe there were still psychiatric wards without single rooms. It's shocking. But so glad DP is getting the right sort of help and has you as a loving and supportive partner.

DP is getting better every day, I just can't wait to have him back home now - and he can't wait to BE back home! We went for a lovely long walk today and had a good talk. He's not quite as better as he thinks he is, but a long way from last weekend.

He is currently allowed out for 6 hours a day so long as I'm with him, but I'm back at work tomorrow so he won't get the full time which I feel really bad about. I've booked as much time off work as I can - which is the first half of my shift for the next two days, have to be there for 5pm though, and DP has to be at the hospital in the mornings in case he needs to see the doctor.

And then - if they decide to let him out for overnight stays at home, somebody has to be there. And I'm on bloody nights Weds and Thurs. If they could just give us an idea we could plan for the week a bit better - but they can't, so it's very frustrating at the moment.

He's happy to keep taking his meds - his main worry was that it would slow him down, but that isn't happening. He's on Olanzapine which seems to work well for him.

Pleased that he is improving

I think you'll find that "hours out" and overnight stays are agreed at the weekly reviews with the psychiatrist so that's probably why they don't know yet. Do you know what day they hold their reviews - they're usually held on the same day each week and you are entitled to attend as well, so hope it's a time when you're not at work.

So glad DP is improving so quickly - he's doing great!

Thanks NanaNina, you've been a great help since this started

His main review is on a Thursday, last Thursday they decided he could come out for 2 hours. But then the doctor saw him the day after too and said he could come for 4 hours - then 6 the day after, and they would then look at overnight (which is probably why we're expecting it to progress quicker, just figured the doctors don't do weekends!)

He's allowed out by himself too so long as he stays within the grounds of the unit, so he's been able to go out for a couple of runs which is good too. :)

If we do have to wait til Thursday I have a few days off so can pick him up and take him back any time again. DP is prepared for this to be the case too (especially after speaking to some of his fellow residents, they've told us more than the staff!)

So glad things are improving, Ruby. You are doing all the right things, and at least he is able to talk to you now and make plans.