Had interview at job centre today and because of this I now have 3 weeks to discuss with dp whether he moves in or not, if he does no problems, if he doesnt they leave it but if whoever makes another complaint then they'll start surveillance and if they feel he's staying here too much even if hes not living here then they can stop my money.
We've known each other for just over 4 yrs and our son is 3 but he had what was pretty much a breakdown (cant think of any other way to describe it) and cheated on me with 2 people over nearly a 2 yr period and also got himself deeply in debt and our relationship was obviously very much on and off. We finally got back together around march this year and things have been getting much better but we're still working on it, building things up slowly. And im 15 wks pregnant. We talked bout him moving in but what with the way things are and finances and my horrendous ms meaning it be very hard for me to get a job now we decided we'd wait. I was going to start an open university course in jan and planning on doing more so that when i do go back to work i can get a better paid job as at the moment i have next to no qualifications and only experience of waitressing and telesales.
Both my last pregnancys were ruined by AND and then PND and i so wanted this one to go right with no major stresses and problems and id actually thought that it might.
So ive worked out our money and if he moved in and i didnt work once we've paid all our bills and debts we'd have ?7 a month to pay for food clothes etc and get ?237 a yr child tax credit no working tax credit. So if i did work id have to earn enough after tax to pay for food clothes entertainment and to save up for extras like bdays xmas and emergencies for 2 adults and 2 children, despite having ms as bad as with my dd and with her i was signed off work sick for all but about 3 months of my pg and id have to work fo 26 wks to qualify for maternity allowance which then would prob not be enough to live off. Plus I'd lose free milk and prescriptions and dentists costs and would no longer get maternity grant which im counting on.
Or he doesnt move in and he limits coming round to 2 nights a week, just when he's really starting to build up good bonds with dcs and even then i have my suspicions who has said this and i think she'll still go and say something if she sees us together even once so then we're in shit again.
I know there are gonna be people who think i deserve this and im living off their taxes while they work hard but this isnt how i planned my life and this isnt how i planned it to stay its just how its worked out I was planning my way out of it i wanted to do these courses and get myself a career so we wouldnt have to be shit poor for ever.
And now im left with he moves in and i forget everything i wanted and we struggle to make our relationship work under the added of pressure of no money and this baby becoming a problem rather than a good thing or we pretty much break up.
Im sorry this is so long and i dont really know what anyone can say but i needed to get it out i was so angry that someone would do this for no reason at all cos there is noone ive fallen out with and now im just really upset cos i dont know what to do and feels like everything is falling apart and i so wanted this to be a happy pregnancy