I've had a rough life, I grew up with a family who never wanted me and used to verbally, emotionally and occasionally physically abuse me. I was kicked out and moved into a Hostel.
I've been raped twice and sexually assaulted once.
My EX left me PG with our second child.
It's been 4 years and I am STILL in love with the man, he is horrible to me but I cannot help but feel complete sadness everyday because of what my life has become, I sit day in day out watching crap TV and caring for my children. Same shit, different day.
I've started to think that harming myself would help ease the pain for a second; the loss I feel and love I feel for my EX and my feelings of worthlessness.
I want to escape these feelings just for a while, I have insomnia and OCD. I just want 5 minutes to clear my mind and I can't help but feel as though this is the only way to do it.