I am someone everyone on MN hates because I have BPD and I don't take responsibility for myself. I have had treatment (DBT) but stopped taking my meds and now I am unwell and really struggling. The crisis team are going to ring me but I know they will just tell me to take responsibility for myself and keep myself safe but I am struggling to so much. I have a history of serious SI and SU attempts.
I almost can't face being told to make the right choice because I don't think I can.
They will just say you can't go back to hospital which I don't want anyway. I just want someone to hold my hand and help me get back on my feet.
I have work tomorrow :( How can I go to work when I want to destroy myself? I am already on second line sickness so can;t afford time off and I start anew job in a week.
FFS.