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Original poster

*****Should I take ads?******

36 replies

Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 09:48

I have a history of depression, and stopped taking citalopram (sp?) three months ago as I felt they were not doing me any good. I'm in counselling but the last few weeks, I've been feeling awful in the morning, full of dread, anxiety etc, my mood goes up and down like a yo yo, for example I'm not feeling so bad today and yet I know I will probably feel low again before the week is out. I've never been overly fond of housework but I've let everything go, no proper routine, sorry for whining, feel so confused.

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DastardlyDevilishDior · 23/10/2006 09:52

The thing with ADs is that it is hard to tell what difference they are actually making to our moods until we stop taking them! I did that once as I felt OK, but then, one month later, I hit the bottom again and had to go back on them . It might be that the ADs were not allieviating the depression but were keeping your moods stable. Maybe you needed a higher dose?

DastardlyDevilishDior · 23/10/2006 09:53

And, you are not whining. This board is for us all to moan about our depression! That is one sign of depression - feeling a burden on everyone!

Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 09:55

I'm thinking that too DDD, I'm a regular btw, feel crappy that I havent even the guts to come on as my usual name. I'm so bloody fed up of trying to fight this!

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 09:58

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 09:59

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:02

I might switch therapist because I know CBT is supposed to be very good for depression. I just want to feel like I'm part of life again instead of feeling like I'm on the sidelines looking in.

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:04

I've never haeard of them, are they for SAD? I'd try anything now tbh.

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 10:07

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 10:15

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 10:17

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:26

Thanks Mellowma for the link, you know I was walking back from dropping ds to school and was thinking I should join a gym, only thing is some mornings lately it's a workout just trying to get out of bed, if I'm being honest I probably didn't give the Citalopram a chance as sometimes I would forget to take them, other times if I wanted some wine at the wknd etc. I ust know I can't go on like this as I know it must be affecting my dc

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:28

just, my j is a bit dodgy on the keyboard thanks btw for talking to me I've kept this hidden as I don't have a lot of rl support.

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:29

Btw thanks DDD too.

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 10:31

Right I'm going to go to the gp at 12.30, can't be any worse, know it's not rational but wish I didn't give myself such a hard time for needing ads.

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Mellowma · 23/10/2006 10:54

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DastardlyDevilishDior · 23/10/2006 18:54

MDS - The gym is an excellent idea. An hour's workout will make you feel much better. Trouble is making yourself go isn't it! I have a light box. A friend sold hers to me for £30 and I use it for when I make cards. It does seem to help, especially at this time of year.

Glassofslime · 23/10/2006 19:01

ST johns wort? its really working well for me. Also there is an online CBT course that is free - not sure of the address, but got it from someone on here I think its australian you could try googling.

Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 20:40

Hi Mellowmama, DDD and Glasofslime, thanks for your suggestions. Well I went to my gp this afternoon and he has prescribed xanax for the next fortnight and seroxat. It's amazing how much a weight I felt had been lifted walking out of the surgery. I'm determined not to beat myself up and hopefully in a couple of weeks start going to the gym. I will try and find that website for CBT and look I'm going to get a lightbox, I even bought a massive box of radox salts while I was wating for my prescription. I just want to say thank you all so much for taking the time to listen to me today you have no idea how much your support has meant. Thinking of you all.

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 20:40

Sorry that should have said Mellowma

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 20:43

And I'm going to look into getting a lightbox, not brains look I'm going to. Sorry brains a bit frazzled, catch up with you all soon x

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Original poster
Mustdosomething · 23/10/2006 20:44

Arrrgh where did brains come from in that sentence, seriously better go now!

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Mellowma · 24/10/2006 16:08

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DastardlyDevilishDior · 25/10/2006 10:43

Glad you are feeling more positive. I hope the ADs kick in soon. x

Original poster
Mustdosomething · 25/10/2006 15:11

Hi DDD and Mellow, well I'm two days in and I'm beginning to think, what have I done? I feel very zoned out, my mood is quite low but I just keep saying to myself that it's ok, that this is just the tablets going into my system. I know it's not rational but I'm thinking I'm letting these strange drugs into my system and that I'm being robbed of me but I havent been me for a long time Oh the joys of depression!

I'm just going to hang in there and every time I feel guilty for being on ads I'm just going to give myself a gentle kick in the rear to remind myself how silently hellish it's been or it least seemed that way for the past forever.

I'm looking at some of the other threads and thinking I don't desreve to be here (on this thread) others have it a lot worse than me etc, then I realise what a twonk I am for saying that and beat myself up more. I'm beating myself for beating myself up We truly need an irony emoticon for the depressed threads.

Anyway I've gone on a bit of a ramble there I'm indulging in a bit of a pity party meets don't give a sh*t one at the moment. Anyway thanks for your support DDD&Mellow and how are you both keeping? It's not all about me! Oh no wait it's that thing called depression it is!

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sleepysooz · 25/10/2006 15:32

mds - I am in exactly the same boat as you, the only difference is you've actually got to take yours and are still on them, I took 1 and was so poorly it put me off taking them, I'm supposed to go back to the doctors this week, have chickened out of it all, and like yourself I try to kick myself up the backside but sometimes it just needs a little extra kick of help (AD's) so well done you, congratulations, you are on the road to recovery (thats the only way to look at it)

Well done!