Mental Normality NOS

[UpOnDown]

Everyone is welcome.

hah, no, but that's what I mean

I've had NHS CBT and it was good but it did involve a book, have forgotten her name but mad jewish friend saw her (writer of book) in the secret life documentary

Unfortunately I have a pathological horror of cheesy cartoons and forced acronyms.

I want to burn every For Dummies book in the world.

Jan Scott, Overcoming Mood Swings

it was great actually

There are some gems in the Overcoming series. I have "overcoming low self-esteem" which I couldn't always get on wth well at the time when I was ill as when I'm depressed I can't focus well on things like books but looking back on it later there were things which did relate to the ways that gradually I felt I improved - another book I have is "brain lock" which Mavis gave me for some reason whih I read and looks like it would be useful for OCD (some quite severe OCD in some of my close family members) but unfortunately does mention God quite frequently which can sem a little odd/intrusive to this British reader

Will check the book out, polly

Right have spent seven hours in bed attempting to sleep, am putting an end to this charade

I've got 'overcoming weight problems' when someone told me to get one for my so-called ED and used it to spur me on to greater dieting success

have got v low creatinine levels (this is why hypochondriacs should not be allowed to log on to their test results) but nobody has ever mentioned it, they are well below the bottom of the range, am going to spend the whole day convinced of severe liver disorder :(

probably means I have the most awesome kidneys in the world

The success of therapy, for me, has always depended on how I relate to the practitioner, rather than the approach. But duration is also key, as arguably, for complex issues, there ain't a lot that can be fixed in six sessions!

I'm apparently not terribly good at therapy.

Have had CBT which helped social anxiety but not depression, and had long-term group therapy which was horrible and didn't help at all.

if ever I want to feel truly shit I only have to read the formulation from the therapist who said I was 'beyond the reach' of such help

cpn said something v similar yesterday, although more to do with my ambivalence than being a complete write off, is such a horrible horrible horrible feeling though

am going to email this woman any minute now and ask if she has the skillz

Vvvvv few peole are beyond the reach of therapy, but motivation to turn up to sessions and engage is key
Honestly, if I can do it, anyone can! I'm pretty shit at it, but I turn up (most of the time) and try my best and I'm definitely making progress

mad jewish friend's angry cancer has started creeping through her skin and connective tissue again :(

that's what was so hurtful, I did show up, the assessment took a few weeks

she said I wasn't ready but I was there and I was trying, anyway whatever, it is time to move on!

This is goi to sound horribly trivialising and I'm goig to regret it any second now but I had a pet rat with mammary tumours that erupted through her skin (whih was already tightened through surgery) and having seen how horrifying and distressing it is in a rat makes me want to cry thinking about that happenif to a human being

That's really sad about your friend, Polly :(
Whoever did your assessment doesn't sound very useful, it can take weeks to build a relationship, geesh, it took me months to engage. don't let it put you off. Being there and trying IS engaging

it doesn't sound trivialising to me, it sounds horrible

:(

we've all always known this is not a survivable thing but you sort of forget about the lethality of it a bit now and then

in other cancerous news my non-smoking parent seems to have lung cancer but they are old and it doesn't seem quite so horrible when you are approaching the end of your natural life span anyway

thanks millie, I'll go and ride now while it's still sunny and work in my head on what I want to say in the email later

the trouble with being in such a sparsely populated area is that we are not exactly overflowing with choice, there is another potential person but I know her in a different context and just couldn't

I've never felt that I've got much out of talking therapy. It always seems to come back to them asking me what I think the answer is which seems a bit futile.
Trip to London is off as ds1 not up to it. Am actually relieved. I am not feeling too great, got the feeling of being in a dream and head full of glue. My sick note end date is on Monday 23rd does anyone know if that's my last day sick or first day well?

good question

how does thought of going back to work feel?

it is the last day of your sick, so you need to do something for Tuesday ;ie get another sick note or ret to work.

Sorry to hear about the lung cancer Polly glad I didn't upset you by talking about my pet rat

She was my favourite pet rat

When she was ill once we had her in a hospital cage downstairs while her sister was in the main cage upstairs in our bedroom

she was supposed to be resting

She had an enormous tumour (not ulcerated at this point) but found the plastic plate covering the food cup hole (it was technically a bird cage) and over the course of a couple of hours gnawed a hole in it (she wasn't normally a gnawer) and squeezed herself and her golf ball sized tumour through the gap. I woke up at about 2am and had a sudden urge to go.and check on her downstairs - but only got halfway down the stairs before I met her struggling up the stairs to where DP and I and her sister were. So from that point we realised she needed to be upstairs more thanbshe needed peace and quiet

Booked hairdressers for Friday, what should I get done?

Ooh hairdressers! What are the options Ennn?
I'm going on Saturday will just get a trim and my usually semi permanent which is just a bit warmer then my natural boring brown colour and covers the grey.
Good news on the sick note thanks Brighter :) I I need to email my boss an update at some point. I'm not sure whether I'm going to be fit next week, but Tuesday is more achievable than Monday