Terrified, how to get help?

[Needmentalhealthhelp]

I don't know where to start. I am having counselling, but it's early days. My GP refused to give me any meds and I feel I can't cope with everyday life. My husband has moved out, although we are on a waiting list for counselling. He's just left this afternoon even though he knows I am in a state and borderline suicidal. I don't even know if I'm suicidal as I don't think I want to die, I just can't go on living like this. I feel like I can't take any more.

I have the number for the hospital. I feel like I should phone and ask to be admitted. However, there's no one to look after my children if I do, which means I can't do that. It's also terrifying to think of being in there. I have no idea what to do and I just wish someone would help me.

Call the hospital and ask them to contact social services, they will probably try and find a member of your family or a good friend to discuss supporting your children while you get help for yourself.

SS won't take your children away from you but it will show them you are a responsible parent if you are open with them now.

If you have been in an abusive relationship (psychological or otherwise) try and contact Women's Aid.

First off, I am sorry you feel so bad, well done for posting here for support.

Your first step is to go back to your GP and explain how badly you feel and ask for more support. If you google you should be able to find the crisis number for your local area and you can contact them tonight to help you get through until you can see your GP, or, if you feel you cannot keep yourself safe you can attend A&E. This way can involve a long wait so I would recommend ringing the crisis team if you need immediate support. You can also ring the Samaritans for someone to listen to you.

Keep posting if it helps, take care xx

I'm so sorry you are feeling so miserable and desperate. I have no expertise at all in this area but didn't just want to post and run.

You sound as if you feel very trapped which must be awful.

I was going to suggest exactly what Creamhearts said ie could you call your doctor's surgery tomorrow morning and book an appt with an alternative doctor (tell them it is an urgent mental health issue). Don't be fobbed off.

Do you mind me asking on what grounds the gp refused you medication? Did you tell him or her that you felt suicidal?

In the meantime, could you call the Samaritans? The Samaritans

Do you have any other close relatives or friends you could call?

You are obviously a very good mum. Look after yourself xxx

Thankyou.

I do have a number for the crisis team. What will happen if I ring them?

There is already social work involvement due to one of my sons having problems at home/school and he is on the saying lost for CAHMS. This is voluntary, but due to an incident involving my husband being physical with my son last weekend, they have asked that until we clarify what happened that my husband isn't left alone with my son in case my son is scared/anxious of him. Obviously I take this very seriously and it makes the whole situation harder to deal with. It's like being in a horrible nightmare.

I have no family anywhere nearby and they wouldn't help anyway. No friends that can help either.

Sorry, just seen about the GP and medication. They said it was because i queried whether I could have bipolar as opposed to depression. That once if seen a psychiatrist (they referred me) that they would prescribe. I did say I was feeling suicidal, but was still
Lucid enough to be able to reason about it and wanted help before things got worse. I have been hospitalise twice before, although years ago, for suicide attempts.

The crisis team can provide support over the phone in the first instance, their role is to get you through the immediate crisis - the next 10 minutes / hour / night etc. So they often suggest going for a walk, having a warm drink, having a bath. They can also offer face to face support if they think you need it (or you could request it if you feel it is necessary). They can liaise with your GP to help get you the support you need.

If I am honest, I think an admission is unlikely, hospitals are not amazing places and they prefer to treat people at home.

Keep talking x

Needmentalhelp do you know how long it will be before you see the psychiatrist? I don't have any experience of this but if it is too far ahead then contacting the crisis team seems like a good idea as perhaps they might be able to speed the appt up.

I do know all of these is under-resourced in the UK so I hope you get the support you need quickly.

Hang in there x

Is your son anxious of his father or was that a one off? Does he ever make you feel anxious?

I would advise you speak to social services and tell them that he's left. They may help speed up the psychiatric support as well.

I'm not sure how long it will take to see the psychiatrist, it's taken ages, but I'm going to go to my new GP tomorrow and ask for some medication and about the referral. I feel like they never take me very seriously, maybe as I might seem ok during the appointment, I'm not sure.

My husband moved out months ago. He visits to see the DC. We're supposed to be trying to sort things out, but I'm not sure that's possible. My son isn't scared of him, the incident was a one off. He is emotionally abusive to me, but denies this. He uses ignoring as a method of abuse too, but again, denies this and says it's because he can't cope with me. I'm hoping the counselling will address this.

I'm very sorry to be replying only now op; had visitors

And I'm sorry you are going through such a stressful time with your dh

It's good that you have an appt with a new gp tomorrow. It's very difficult to open up in that situation, so can totally 'get' why you may come across as fine when you are not. Would it help to take a crib card with the major points written on it that you want to get across maybe? I hope you get the support you need anyway.

I'm going to bed now but I'll be back to check out any posts in the morning.

Take care x

Have you ever had a thread on the relationships board - that might help as people who have been through what you have can better explain what happens psychologically after the relationship has ended. You might be going through a kind of post traumatic stress.

Thankyou.

I am feeling extremely lonely and unhappy this morning. It's awful, I feel so empty and in so much pain at the same time. The docs opens at 8, so I'm hoping I get an appointment and that the doc I see is helpful.

I'm not sure about post traumatic stress country. I think in part this stems from issues in my childhood, but I don't even know where to begin repairing myself. It feels a bit helpless tbh.

I'm going to contact women's aid today I think too.

Good luck getting an appointment Needmentalhealthhelp. It's not easy when you are feeling so low, but really be insistent that you need to be seen xxx

And good idea to ring Women's Aid today as well.

Good luck with both!! And keep posting!!

Do contact WA, they will understand exactly what you're going through, they probably see people like you every day of the week, people who have ended up in abusive relationships after a difficult childhood and when the abuse stops it's like the whole world has turned upside down.

I think things can only get better from here on in. Your children will also be able to recover as they have probably been suffering just as much.

Remember this is not anything to do with you, it's not your fault, never was and never will be. You are doing absolutely the right thing now, for you and for your children, to pick yourself up and get the help you need and deserve.

How did it got this afternoon?

*go

How are things going OP?

Hope you are OK op xx

Thankyou. The GP prescribed me sertraline, but it very quickly made an existing Heath condition dangerously worse so I had to tsp taking it. My hospital doctor is consulting a psychiatrist as to what meds might be suitable, but that's taking some time.

I've walked out today after further emotional abuse from my husband. I'm going to stay with family and try and speak to the council there about housing. I feel like I need support around me and getting away from my husband can only help me.

Well done for making the break. Do you feel a bit better now you are away from him?

Not at the moment really. I have had to leave the DC there. I am going to speak to the council while I am here and try and sort out housing or see what my options are. I'm also going to phone women's aid today. I'm trying very hard to think of the positives of this, but it's very hard.

Sorry to hear you are going through such an extremely tough time atm. I hope you can get the support you and your dc need xx

Sorry but I'm going to keep nagging you to phone women's aid :)

Thanks. I haven't phoned them, but I definitely will tomorrow. I feel devastated. I just want to get in touch with my husband or go back, but I don't know why or what I expect it to achieve. I feel like my life is over and I m struggling to cope.

Hang on until the morning and call social services and women's aid. One day you will wake up and everything will be fine. No abusive partner, kids by your side, safe home. Think about that and gather your strength for tomorrow.