Suspected/Diagnosed/Struggles similar to ADHD support thread.

[BertieBotts]

Inspired tonight by this quote I read on an ADD support group on Facebook:

Take the metaphor of an elephant in the room; in this case, the elephant stumbles into the living room and dies. Someone tells me to get it out of there. This, that and the other thing get in the way and I don't deal with it immediately. A few days go by and climbing over it becomes routine. Two weeks go by and it's really starting to stink up the place and other people in my life are complaining, why haven't we dealt with it? I said I would, why is it still here? I am realizing that I've forgotten it. Truly forgotten it. There's no saying that, no one is going to believe my air head has vaporized this task.

Yep. And eww. But yep.

Some links. Feel free to add more, these are just some I found useful/thought may be relevant.

Women, Girls and Mothers with ADHD

When your kids have ADHD too

UK ADHD Partnership

AADD - Adults with ADHD

ADHD Quiz

Why Procrastinators Procrastinate (The "How To Beat It" in part 2 is less helpful for repeated everyday tasks)

This tells you a bit about the different types

I, er... got distracted while writing this and can't remember what I was going to finish with, so I suppose I will leave this open ended. Discuss! Experiences, questions, support, interesting or helpful links, whatever you think is relevant.

Well I have bitten the bullet and "outed" myself on a local group... gulp!

Re: tiredness. The vast majority of the time I could always sleep more. I have slept for 16+ hours when given the chance and only wake up then because the dreams start getting really disturbing, I could drop off again easily. There was a point a few months ago where I could nap and reliably wake up and feel like getting up but I've gone away from that again now. I went for a lie down at about 6 and woke up at gone 10 :( now I'm awake and it's after midnight and I'm going to get crappy sleep again tonight because by the time I go to bed DH will be snoring and the fucking fridge will be humming at me.

Can't even change the fridge as we rent!

evening all

antimatter I take Concerta XL, and have recently started to take fish oils and magnesium supplements on the advice of my psychiatrist.

The Concerta XL made an immediate and remarkable difference to my life. I am more relaxed, focused, proactive and organised. My self esteem improved because I no longer told myself how shit I was at all that stuff, and that brought an increased confidence and assertiveness (I was outwardly both of these things anyway, but now I really feel like I'm not just faking it).

I'm not perfect, I still walk round the dead elephants, or 2 week old Chinese food in the fridge, but I'm much better than I was.

anti no problem ...reading it back it could have seemed that way....
Bertie I live by to do lists - I have just started using an android app called tick tick (have spent a lot of time playing with it -procrastination )
But I love it - the best I have tried so far...
You can have different lists, it syncs with google calendar, you can set recurring tasks, set reminders, view by date, view by list - even tag things (#) - the best eg of this I can have seemingly unrelated/ possibly undated tasks on different lists (go to the post office for work, recycle the glass, go to the library and I have a gps appointment) for all of them I need to go to the local village so I mark them #village - when it is my GPs appointment I view the #village list and can see what I can do whilst I'm there.
The best thing about it is that as well as on my phone I have it in my web browser and on my tablet -they all sync. As soon as I realise I need to do something - or someone asks me to do something - or I get an email that means I have to do something (a sure fire way of me getting distracted!) - I don't do it - I just add it straight to the list...even voice record tasks -and I can tick them off as soon as I've done them. And you can add checklists to the task (break it down into small chunks) or add notes (so eg if I have to phone somewhere I put the number there -otherwise if I have to find the number -I may well get sidetracked -maybe need to do a websearch - I'll just check my email... or have a quick look at MN etc etc.)
It stops me writing endless lists and transferring things between them etc...hopefully it will stop me falling off and becoming chaotic again (which I have a tendency to do)
Before I would (in theory) sit down once a week to go through my tasks and my calendar and work out what I needed to do/decide what to do that week - this way even if I get distracted/procrastinate and put off doing the list for the week it doesn't matter as much - because the essential stuff is dated on the list -I can't forget. I look at my phone and the home screen has the list as a widget there...I have it always open in my web browser...I look at my tablet and it is there... And I put EVERYTHING on there -so no danger of my forgetting something -even minor. I have in the past just forgotten DD has an (regular weekly!) activity - so they are on there. And although I have hundreds of tasks because some are little quick silly things it doesn't feel as daunting ....all I have to do is remember to regularlly check 'THE LIST' and tick things off.
(of course if my internet connection goes down or the tick tick server go down I'll be lost - not even going to think about that...)

Two of my DC have diagnosed ADHD.

Damn anti I meant what I said straight after what you had said could have seemed like I was being snarky...when I really wasn't...and I wasn't offended more worried that I'd upset you...think it might be time for bed for me ...obviously past making sense if I ever did

Oh my fave android list app is called Do It Tomorrow :) That one sounds like I'd end up spending more time playing with it than using it productively, but I'll have a look next time I get all inspired for apps.

I'm really trying not to get excited or my hopes up about the idea of medication. The idea that I could finally clear this brain fog I have had for so long I have forgotten what it feels like to be present, to remember (some!) things, to be able to actually use organisational tools, for time not to slip away quite so fast is quite something. I'm a bit scared to hold onto it in case they don't work for me.

My ds has adhd/aspergers and my uncle i reckon did too. Does anyone have any advice on how to get the doctors to take me seriously, i have tried and tried.

Antimatter i missed your post directly below mine I am thinking more and more of going private, its just cost! Mind anything is worth not feelinglike i do. I forget everything, i cant cope with loud noises, cant organise myself and i was like this in school too

blackheartsgirl see my post from Wednesday night. I had 3 appts with GPs before I got referred to a specialist. You do need to push for a referral if you think you need properly assessed, and GPs don't always take it seriously, especially if you appear to be functioning well.

I did get referred once last year but i managed to get as far as seeing some community psych nurse who referred me onto the adult adhd service. 1 year later i went back to find out what was happening and they closed my case with 'no further intervention needed' without even bloody seeing me. I am so angry. My doctor in fact all the doctors i see keep szying im depressed. No fuck off i am not depressed. My area is notorious for its crap mental health facilities. My doc said he wont refer me out of area because its all in my head. Grrrr

I wonder if bringing a partner to GP, someone who would validate our complaints may help?
My SIL is a GP and I could ask her how to convince GP for referral. She is also working for local authority advising on children's mental health. I nfact thinking about it she may be well read on ADHD in general as many illnesses run in families and they would be taking that into account.

I def should also try to talk to GP about my old head injury. Is not getting worst I thin, is just there, perhaps being little child helped as it must have healed itself. I have 2 masters and am working in very interesting field in IT but I feel I should be able to retain more info in my brain of all what I am exposed to .
3 of 5 people I work with in this team are dyslectic. I def. have some traits. We were discussing it a while ago that this is more than just a coincidence. I wonder how it is in general that people of certain traits steer towards particular career.

Interesting thread.

I have considered ADHD as a diagnosis for myself over the years, along with other diagnoses - Asperger's, Dyspraxia' Bipolar! No, I promise I am not hypochondriac. But something has always been quite 'off' about me and I seem to have limitations which hold me back and cause underlying anxiety and depression...so I am always searching for answers that might fit.

I scored 40 on the test above, with inattention as the key feature.

Despite having held down some very responsible jobs over the years, buying a house and being married with two children, I have always been incredibly messy, unable to organise anything practical, somebody who loses and/or breaks things frequently and can procrastinate for England. I feel like an incapable child trapped in the body of a grown woman a lot of the time.

The post upthread about trying to get organised, having small success, then forgetting what you were doing/losing things/failing to be organised, then starting ALL over again and on and on...that really struck a chord with me.

I forget to pay bills and turn up for appointments, despite a diary with reminders. Its like my brain cant grasp certain information for more than a few minutes. I have never achieved a proper filing system for bills or important documents. My house is OK-ish, but our bedroom is a wreck because I just cant seem to be able to organise things like clothes and shoes properly. My desk at work was always a mess (not working currently), with papers stuffed in drawers. I have a never-ending to do list that I cannot seem to be able to prioritise and act on. Have also tried every self help guide, 'declutter your house/change your life' website etc. it helps for about a week max and then my brain sort of slides back into being scatterbrain.

I was like this as a child. I believe I am probably dyspraxic, too, as I am clumsy, drop/break/bump into things on a daily basis and always had very poor spatial awareness.

I have mentioned ADHD to a psychiatrist once, but was met with scepticism. I had a bipolar disorder diagnosis at one stage, but this is under review. I sometimes wonder if it IS ADHD and the depression I am prone to stems at least in part to having to work so hard to mask it and from beating myself up about how generally crap I am at life!

Hi guys. Thanks for the invitation, Bertie.

Am just getting to grips with this. I scored 37, predominantly inattention.

I partly think my whole family has it. Me, kids, DH, and my parents in different ways. But I also have chronic fatigue (nearly 3 years now) which affects cognitive function. I almost can't remember how I was before. But I've never held down a job for longer than a couple of years, always tried to be organised because life feels v chaotic inside, and always always interrupted people hugely.

In other ways, I think modern life is just too much for anyone, surely.

Top tip: the Marie Kondo book has pretty much reprogrammed my brain for household stuff and it is much much better now. The threads on Good housekeeping are so helpful too...

Tis I can be extremely organised but from an intellectual point of view... if that makes any sense. So I know HOW to organise stuff and I can do it sometimes but I can't keep it up day in day out...
An old boss of mine once described me as either the most disorganised organised or organised disorganised person they had ever met....
The 'overly' organised bit -lists for everything and everything on a list - is my coping strategy...why I can function.
But I also think you need to give yourself downtime from it ...I find it exhausting if I can't every let myself just be myself.
(I have been severely depressed in the past - my therapist made a big deal of how I have two very distinct, separate personalities. I thought I understood it at the time (little girl vs strong woman) but I understand a lot more now. I was told to stop being so hard on myself - just to let myself get lost sometimes...I don't know if that makes sense...)

Why I like my current app - because it is constantly there -with reminders set -forcing me to concentrate more.
But since I've adopted it I feel more tired because it does take a lot of effort for me to keep the concentration up...I have to consciously try all the time.
Now trying to work out how to set myself 'time off'...but that's hard with DCs and work...

give yourself downtime (from lists and musts)
I think this is very important!

Need to reflect on it.

TisAwfulSad you sound exactly like me.

I spent about 3 years on ADs after my DCs were born, as I just couldn't cope. They made no difference at all, and my GP and I now recognise that the depressive feelings I had probably stemmed from undiagnosed ADHD, and my constant attempts and failures to cope with normal life stuff, and the increased pressures caused by having more things to remember to do once theres a couple of kids to organise too. It's a horrible hamster wheel to be trapped in.

I needed to reStnis today, things are getting on top of me and I am struggling with the house. No bugger will refer me for diagnosis...too long a story but a common problem I believe.
In the meantime I am an adult with ADD and possibly Aspergers too. My DS has both so the familial stuff is there.
Nightmare and I am exhausted.

Oh interesting, relating to lots of this.

I have also been described as "organised", usually by people who don't know me very well - I am always surprised because I am so disorganised. But I think it's because I need the organisation to function at all.

Marie Kondo also works v well for me. I like it a lot. I haven't finished it though - I started months ago and am waiting my next task which is "socks".

As I asked in a local group I am having coffee in 2 weeks with someone who is diagnosed with ADHD and who I get on with and have noted similarities with her in the past, so that will be nice.

Lurking as scored highly in test. Sigh. Labels, labels. Where do thry grt us anyway? When is it more than a colllection of non mainstream oddities. As others have said, v hard to even get anadult diagnosis. we're all of us on a spectrum, some of us at the v end! Feel quite jaded about it all. Another possible thing about me which is wrong. As well as deeply controversial. I question it a little but i nod along to much of what is said on here and those sites.

Well if the label can get me medication which helps me function adequately, I'll be happy. :) I don't think of it as "wrong" as such. Just a weakness/difficulty in a particular area.

Do you think it will help? Certainly riralin for kids, just for example, has mixed reviews. We stopped dc1 taking it as sideeffects outweighed the benefits.

Ritalin isn't the usually prescribed one in the UK for adults I don't think - most people have mentioned Concerta. Of course medicine has side effects and I'm not going to pin all of my hopes on it, but it's worth a try.

The thing is that the medication for ADHD is a stimulant. For a person without ADHD it will cause hyperactive behaviour. For a person with the hyperactive type of ADHD, (the most visible in children) it calms them down. But it's not a sedative, as many seem to think.

If you look at the patterns of diagnosis and prescription in the US it's very clear that there is a massive problem with the way that ADHD is diagnosed and treated. The patterns are implausible, and fit patterns of other things (to be blunt, rates are far higher in the South.) This is massively problematic, because not only is it potentially harmful for children to be medicated when they have no need to be, such prevalence (and massive difference in prevalence based on - presumably - cultural factors) just gives ammunition to the view held by many that ADHD is a made up condition or it's caused by bad/lack of discipline.

I guess that's what you mean by controversial?

For my DS medication was amazing, truly amazing. At age 8 he couldn't read well enough to access the curriculum, he was still on P-scales (below NC Level 1). After just three months on Medikinet he was reading fluently and by the end of the first year had made 17 points of progress academically taking him well into NC levels.
By the time he left junior school he was practically on a par with his peers academically. This was so amazing that the school gave him an award for "Outstanding Progress in Key Stage 2". I was so so proud of him, he didn't know about the award and seeing his face light up when his name was called was ...well....emotional.

I harbour hopes that it could do the same for me with the housework

Grateful, so delighted for your son. Thank God for modern medicine. With all its faults it can be amazing.