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Brother missing, sent goodbye text

32 replies

solitudehappiness · 05/11/2014 00:58

My brother sent two texts saying goodbye today and has been missing since. The police are out looking for him.
Can't sleep am so worried.
Had family on the phone crying etc. we're all really worried.

OP posts:
WishUponAStar88 · 05/11/2014 01:04

Didn't want to read and run. So sorry you are going through this - I hope he is soon found and is ok Flowers

ColdCottage · 05/11/2014 01:05

Can you call the Samaritans for support. Someone non emotional and trained would be good for you to talk to.

I hope they find him. Thanks

Celestria · 05/11/2014 01:42

Hi solitude. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope your brother is going to be okay. What does your gut tell you?

Is there any background? Reason behind his texts that you are aware of?

Isabeller · 05/11/2014 01:47

Thinking of you Flowers

solitudehappiness · 05/11/2014 01:57

Thanks.
My brother is an alcoholic. He's spent money on getting hypnotised twice and it didn't work. He's just broke up with his girlfriend, now homeless, lost his job, and it was his daughters 3rd birthday and his ex wouldn't let him see her on her birthday.
So..... Quite a lot has happened for him and the last few weeks.
Been saying thing like he wants to disappear and have no-one know him. His texts said so sorry to family members, and bye.
I'm shaking whilst typing this.

OP posts:
BramwellBrown · 05/11/2014 02:04

How long has he been missing? and has he done anything like this before?

Flowers I really hope hes just gone off for a bit of space and you will find him soon.

nowheretoturnto · 05/11/2014 02:16

So sorry, how dreadful. I can only feel for you. I hope he is found soon. Lots of love.

AcrossthePond55 · 05/11/2014 02:29

Oh love, I'm so sorry. My brother, too, is an alcoholic, just out of rehab (too soon). His insurance wouldn't pay so home he went (Damn our healthcare!). He tries so hard and wants so badly to stay sober. It's heartbreaking. He's said things like that before, too. Like he hopes he won't wake up or he doesn't want to be here anymore. It really hurts, doesn't it? They are in such pain.

I'll say a prayer for you and for him. If nothing else, know that I am thinking of you. I hope he's only getting some space and his head together.

solitudehappiness · 05/11/2014 11:53

Thank you. I've had about 3 hours sleep. No news, and not knowing anything is awful. It's like he's just disappeared. Police have looked everywhere. Friends and family all ringing one another trying to find out where he is. Hmm

OP posts:
silversixpence · 05/11/2014 12:04

I hope you have some good news soon Flowers

KissMyFatArse · 05/11/2014 12:07

Hope he's found soon.

AcrossthePond55 · 05/11/2014 15:03

I'm still praying that he turns up. I wish I could think of something else to say! Maybe this will be the 'bottom' that an addict has to hit before they truly want to get clean.

I know we aren't supposed to do this, but and to you.

ColouringInQueen · 05/11/2014 21:54

(((hugs))) solitude, really hoping he's found too. Have you got anyone that can stay with you/you can stay with so you're not alone?

solitudehappiness · 05/11/2014 22:52

He rang my brother this evening. Don't know any details other than he doesn't want a fuss. Am staying with friends. Big phew, but really hope he gets the help he needs.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 06/11/2014 00:06

Oh Thank God!! I've been watching this thread and just hoping things would turn out OK.

Yes, I hope he gets the help he needs and deserves, too. I never realized what a bastard alcoholism is until my brother crashed and burned. You take care of yourself, too, solitude.

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 06/11/2014 00:26

Just saw this, I'm so glad that you know he's safe, but I do feel for you all. Not me, and not mumsnetty, but here's a hug.

Isabeller · 06/11/2014 00:48

and another {{{hug}}}

solitudehappiness · 06/11/2014 06:54

Thanks for the support and hugs Smile
Think it's going to be a long road for him, and yes, I really hope he gets the help he needs.

OP posts:
Celestria · 06/11/2014 07:45

I'm so glad he is okay OP. Sadly for me, my brother wasn't so my heart was in my mouth for you.

I do hope he gets and takes all the help he needs. Best wishes. Smile

solitudehappiness · 06/11/2014 10:28

Oh celestria. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for your words. Smile

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 06/11/2014 14:20

I think my own brother is realizing that the road isn't just long, it's an endless journey of sobriety and facing challenges. I hope your brother takes those first steps, himself.

celestria I had made my painful peace recently that I would probably lose my brother to either drinking related causes or suicide. I'm beginning to find hope again. I'm so sorry about your brother. You have my wishes for the future.

solitudehappiness · 07/11/2014 02:33

No he's drinking again. Makes me sad and feel angry he can't see how worried people were.
I guess he's not seeing anything other than drinking. And it just spirals on and on. It's like being stuck in Groundhog Day.
Wish so much that he would get help and recover. Am I being selfish, uncaring even to not want to see him drinking and then getting depressed?
This is what addiction does. What is going through his brain? Why can't he reach out to those that are trying to help him?
So sorry acrossthepond. It sounds like you've had quite a challenging time. How have you coped?

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 07/11/2014 02:51

Very glad that he's been in contact again, very sorry that he is going through this and putting you and all of his family, including his little girl, through it as well. :(

I hope he gets the help he needs before it's too late. x

Isabeller · 07/11/2014 04:01

I'm so glad your brother made contact.

I'm planning to go to an Alanon family group tomorrow for the first time in months. I'd been thinking about going back but suddenly family events have made it a necessity for my sanity. Have you considered giving Alanon a try?

Celestria · 07/11/2014 09:47

Hi op. I wish I had some answers for you. My own experience of alcoholics is that like all addicts, overall their main priority is sourcing the next hit. They are inherently selfish. Doesn't stop us from loving them though does it.

All you can do is be there as much as you can, as long as it's not detrimental to your emotional and physical health. If it becomes that way then you have to take care of yourself.