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Original poster

Bipolar relapse? Reduced meds.

80 replies

TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 14/10/2014 19:21

I have bipolar, and have been trying for months to come off my medication to try and manage it without Lithium and Aripiprizole. I know coming off meds isn't for everyone, but I wanted to try. I have been fine for literally years now on the meds, and fine on a reduced dose for months - in fact, I'll be honest and say I haven't been very faithful with my meds at all.

But these past few days I've noticed myself getting obsessive, not sleeping, listening to music all. the. time. Barely eating.

Have I failed? Has anyone come through the other side of this and worked through symptoms without having to up their meds again? I confess, I quite like where I am, I just know it's not going to be helpful in the longterm and could lead to me doing something stupid.

OP posts:
Mitchy1nge · 15/10/2014 21:09

heh, heart FM, life IS cruel!

does the abilify help? have never been allowed it on grounds that it is 'too activating' Hmm or do you have any more sedating type things to take

sorry can only think of drugs, that is basically my care plan though, take more (prescribed) drugs more often

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 15/10/2014 21:13

don't want sedation, not in a million years. Abilify has been fine - I don't know if it was co incidence, I suspect not, but since I started taking it, I've actually wanted to have sex, which didn't happen for years on olanzapine. Lithium, I don't know. I just don't why I need to be on two mood stabilzers, tbh.

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Mitchy1nge · 15/10/2014 21:19

oh, no wonder am not allowed abilify then

hopefully cpn will be helpful tomorrow, can only think of things that are sedating because that's all they ever give me (but they do help me)

what has brought your mood back down in the past? what usually does the trick?

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 15/10/2014 21:30

depends if I get psychosis stage. I usually crash in all reality. My little obsessions help - Christmas, Doctor Who, writing, just focus the wildness.

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Mitchy1nge · 15/10/2014 22:16

Christmas sounds like a great obsession to have! are you planning parties and wrapping presents already?

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 15/10/2014 22:27

presents all bought, mince pies being made this week, carols on repeat to try and sleep to. Doesn't work, just end up listening to pop radio until 5 am, writing. Lists and lists and lists. and stories, which is the best bit.

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Ivytheterrible · 15/10/2014 22:47

Presents all bought and wrapped here too! Also have DDs birthdays before Xmas.

Last time I was manic I wrote a whole series of children's books...have never done anything with them though.

Mitchy1nge · 15/10/2014 22:50

I never do anything useful with my so-called mental disorder Confused I just make a mess and humiliate and impoverish myself

but luckily I forget almost everything

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 15/10/2014 23:04

Oh, I make a bloody mess too. Decided to paint a cupboard orange and didn't put any paper down, just sloshed paint all over it. Bought tins and tins of baked beans before now, and about £4000 worth of stuff from QVC.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 15/10/2014 23:06

and ebay's a sodding minefield. DP always knows because I step out in brand new to me steampunk outfits.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 10:00

Ha, he's phoned and can't get through to anyone who knows their arse from their elbow. I'm climbing the walls if truth be told, got an hour and half sleep last night, but I feel brilliant. Honestly, why can't I just stay like this for a bit and then take their stupid pills later. Unless, the pills are designed to trigger something if you try and come off them, wouldn't put it past them.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 11:18

psych wants to see me tomorrow at 1pm. I'm in the doghouse now, aren't I?

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Mitchy1nge · 16/10/2014 11:38

can you take someone with you, or get them to help you think in advance about what you'd like to get out of the appointment?

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 11:48

DP will come with me - he's wangled some compassionate leave for the afternoon as long as he works the time up in the evening. I trust him at least.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 12:45

gack, I'm really tired now. Could sleep, I think, except I know I couldn't. I'll just lie and fidget with my eyes wide open, mind racing at hundred mph. Feel like I've messed everything up.

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Mitchy1nge · 16/10/2014 13:09

Flowers you will be ok

is completely normal to stop lithium at some point or another, there can't be many people with bipolar who haven't ever done that

do you know this psych well?

Mentalpsychiatrist · 16/10/2014 13:16

teaspoon I did the exact same as you and stopped my lithium a couple of months ago. We all do it at some point. I ended up in hospital for my troubles but hopefully you'll avoid the dreaded inpatient experience.

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 14:23

Yes, I know the psych well. He's not very happy about the reduction in meds but reluctantly agreed to it. He said it was ok as long as I promised faithfully to call in if anything happened. I guess this qualifies. School run in a bit. If you see a woman being weird in the playground, don't point and laugh eh? Grin DP has asked a friend from his church to walk with me. So that's not humiliating at all.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 20:11

and DP has come home to tell me he can't come with me Sad

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 16/10/2014 23:05

and now I'm getting auditories too. Just my fucking name, whispered over and over.

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Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 17/10/2014 04:44

Have given up with the trying to sleep thing.

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Mitchy1nge · 17/10/2014 08:55

sounds quite stressful, good luck for today, hope you and the psych come up with something helpful between you x

Original poster
TeaspoonAndAnOpenMind · 17/10/2014 10:03

Thank you. I'll let you know what goes down, if anything. And if it won't bother anyone if I keep posting on this thread, I don't want to annoy people.

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Mitchy1nge · 17/10/2014 11:23

post away, it's a strange kind of helpful feeling of recognition for me in a way and not annoying in the least

is never nice to go through stuff alone anyway Flowers

Khalessi · 17/10/2014 12:51

Teaspoon I hope you get some rest and support soon. Remember, mania starts seductively but doesn't usually end well.