depression in pregnancy

[divastrop]

so many ppl talk about pnd etc but ive suffered badly from depression during pregnancy,especially in the last two and at the moment.yet when i talk about it i get responses such as 'oh ur bound to have mood swings' etc.my gp says its understanable i feel depressed as i have the other kids to look after etc.but theres no reason for it,its like i get to 6 weeks pregnant and somebody sucks out my sense of humour,my desire to talk to friends and turns me into a monster that can only shout at then apologise to her children,and repeatedly asks dp 'do u still love me?' 'ru going to leave?'.a monster that is also fat and spotty.i know that i have got pretty much as low as i can get,but im scared that i'll somehow get 'stuck'like this and forget who i was before.
i was ok last time,after i gave birth i was fine apart from the usual baby blues,but i know i felt like me again.
am i the only person whos gone nuts just cos theyre pregnant?

When i was pg with my ds i was very insecure, very moody & very angry & it has to have been one of the worst parts of mine & dp's relationship but we got thruogh it. With dd however i was just emotional & cried alot about everything, i did get depressed towards the end of my pregnancy with dd & i then had PND after dd was born & am still fighting it now, but pregnancy does not suit me at all & dp was very scared when we found out we were expecting for the 2nd time, thank god it was completly different otherise me & dp would probably not be together now.

By the way your not FAT your pregnant & spots come from the hormonal changes in your body & different people react in different ways

I suffered the same, I was 5 months pregnant with ds and had an appointment with my hv (my dd was 10 months) and she asked how I was feeling and I broke down crying. She was fantastic and within an hour got me a drs appointment and then I got a referal to a cbt (cognitive behavioural therapist). I had therapy sessions up until my ds was 3 months old (now 7 months) and it did me the world of good, taught me how to think differently. I was so low constantly seeking reassurance from everyone about everything, if it rained I thought it was my fault, if my dd cried I thought she hated me. I couldn't bear to be near anyone but felt so alone. With regard to myself I thought I was the most hideous monster to walk this planet.

I don't want to force you into anything, I just wanted you to know you are the only one and if I were you I'd go back to the gp, yes you can be down and stressed by being pregnant and having other los but it shouldn't make you feel so down. I hope this helps and things get better for you, take care x

thank-you,i feel better already knowing im not the only one.im trying to get another appt with my gp but she is on holiday and all the others are booked up all the time.i will go,though,i ended up on ad's last time and they helped so i will prob have to take them again.i wish i could get cbt cos in a previous post alot of ppl said it would prob help me but it's not available where i live,i can only get councelling or go on a 2 yr waiting list for psychotherapy

Thats awful, we are all here to help you out, and I have a book if you wanted me to send it to you, basically was cbt in paperback, let me know

Diva hi, i'm on the March threads too! saw your post today. I've also been suffering from depression during this preg. My doctor was kind and suggested I make more time for myself! yeah 5 kids and the summer holidays!!! She meant well. I'm feeling a little better now the end of the hols is in sight, but it has been a really tough time. You have many kids too don't you?! You might find things ease off a bit once term starts and you can get a little more rest and head space. I will only have the baby at home in the mornings and I assume you will too?
Anyway, just wanted to say 'hello' and let you know that you're not alone

Brookeandtaylorsmummy, the book sounds good. Could you tell me what it's called?

i had pnd and and with first preg. no ante with this preg though.
i was ecstatic to be preg but was awfully depressed about it at the same time. very confusing.
apparently it doesnt affect many women so i guess thats why there arent many threads about it.

Hold on 2 tics just gotta go find it, I've reently moved so need to remember what box its in be right back x

Search on here for antenatal depression - and check here lots of people have ben through this. Rhubarb used to have a wonderful website but I can't find it atm

I'm back and I've found it. Its called 'Overcoming Low Self-Esteem A self help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques' By Melanie Fennel ISBN. 1-85487-725-9. It cost £9.99.

When my cbt therapist told me about it I thought it would be worthless due to the title, self esteem part mainly, but this isn't a book telling you to look in the mirror and tell yourself how fantastic you are, it just teaches you alternative ways to think about certain subjects, instances, situations etc. It really turned my whole way of life around. Be warned there is a little homework involved, as in you have to write things down and learn things but I cannot stress how good this book has been for me and it was all worth it. I find myself the happiest I have been in a long time and I'm able to see a bright future for me and my beautiful babies when I never could before

Wow BATM it sounds just the ticket. I'll have a look on Amazon now. Thanks for taking the trouble to rummage through the boxes and good luck with the unpacking

Hey no worries, I know how horrible it is and wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even my exdh (and he's a complete a*^e!)so will do all I can to help. I also went (initially against my will) to a group thing arranged by health visitors and midwives at my surestart centre is there one nearby for you? I have made good friendships with the other women in the group and see them and their beautiful babies regularly, nice to have face to face conversations with people who now how it feels.

Thanks, I'll ask the HV. I ordered the book, hooray. I think I'll have to be strict with myself about the homework. That's always been my downfall with self help books, but really want to crack this one and try and avoid ad's if I can.

I was exactly the same, but when I got into and actually did do the homework I noticed the changes, I still look at it now if I start to feel down and I'm reminded how far I have come and what I need to do. The new thought processes you are taught become second nature, I never used to be into therapy and self help, I was in denial for years, but I cant believe how different a person I am.

Prenatal depression is a recognised thing (though not by many people), and there is no sign of it being linked with PND (thankfully).

I suffered terribly with DD (first pregnancy), but was going through various work sh*t etc, and put it down to that. Having had "normal" depression in the past, I knew what it was, but didn't realise it could be pregnancy related. I found something online about it later and it all sank into place.

The second time round, it happened again, and I could see it coming, but just couldn't stop myself from falling. The main thing I found was that I needed to be honest with both myself, and my family and friends. I wasn't feeling a bit blue and tearful, I was feeling Depressed with a capital D. By using the dreaded "d" word, people took me more seriously and suddenly realised how bad it was and that I needed support.

I cried on my midwife too, explained to her the situation (with my past history), and she was sooo supportive, telling me to let her know if things got worse, that they could sort out pregnancy safe anti depressants if I felt it was needed, and was just generally really supportive.

I was lucky - I know that rhubarb had it much much worse, and that her story is related to her feelings towards the baby too. For me it was just myself and my life - I did get very low, and scared that one day I would suddenly get so low that I could do something stupid, but the life inside me was what kept me going.

With both pregnancies, I gave birth, depression went, and I was like you - basic baby blues.

Email me if you want to chat at all - sometimes just saying what you are feeling helps a lot.

flamesparrow at googlemail dot com.

Hi I've not read all the posts just the OP. I feel exactly the same way and add white hot angry at everyone and anything all the time.

I'm currently 31weeks pg and had PND for 18mths with first pg. I have been using Omega 3 to help me and it has made a difference for me - thankfully - i didn't fancy having to be on AD's during pg as well as after.

Hope that you can find a sympathic GP or midwife and get referred for help.

thank you all for your supportive messages,and thanks batm for giving me the name of that book,i will have to get it when i can.i know AND is being recognised now,slowly,i did alot of reading on it when i was pg with dd2.i never admitted how i felt when i went through it with ds2,and it got worse and worse,to the point where i even felt resentful towards the baby growing inside me.i was like that till the moment i gave birth,then it was like sum1 switched a light on and i totally fell in love.but i still feel awful when i look back at how i felt during the pg.
i will have to come back tonight to read the links etc ppl have posted as ive just snuck on while dd2 is quiet after her dinner.thanks again x

Poor you I know just how you feel and Flamesparrows story could be mine. I've never heard anybody else who has had this while pregnant and felt shame and guilt for not enjoying my pregnancies. The worst thing is that you forget what it's like top be normal and after the baby it's like lights coming on. I'm so sorry for you but I'm sure it will be ok. I had soem counsellling along cog. behv. lines and I worked with that book you've ordered. For me, I cared so little about myself i couldn't make myself work through it, I also didn't want to think about my problems. in the end the counsellor became so concerned about me that she referred me on but all that happened is that i was monitored and it was fairly useless. thing is though after the baby, i got better so alls well! I hope you don't feel guilty for feeling bad like me, you are ill and once you're better, you'll be able to see that so clearly! Hope I don't sound patronising!

Kittywits and divastrop how are you today? Oh btw its brookeandtaylorsmummy here, changed my name due to a feeding incident earlier with ds. Just thought I'd see how you were x

I suffered with quite bad depression throughout my second pregnancy. I wasn't aware of ante natal depression & felt I had to put on a happy front to all around me because it was meant to be a happy time. I didn't talk to anyone about how I was feeling until after DS2's birth when I confided in my HV. Looking back I really wish I had confided in someone during the pregnancy & had some kind of help sooner.
I am glad you are going to have a word with your gp. I hope they can help you & that you are soon feeling a little better.

That's really kind of you. I'm feeling quite hopeful now that I've ordered the book you recommended. I have already been trying to look at the way I see and react to things and hopefully won't need any ad's. Sorry to hear about the feeding incident!! Did it involve teeth?

Ahh thats good, tiny steps in the right direction make the biggest changes. feeding incident involved 2 shapr little teeth and ds rolling away ooooooooooh I was so impressed I didnt't swear!

hello again.i didnt come back on yesterday as o was so anxious about my 12 week scan that i didnt even want to think about pregnancy.luckily everything was ok.i saw the consultant at the hospital(i have shared care due to previous blood pressure problems)and she didnt understand about me being depressed whilst pg.she said 'u can take prozac if u want but i dont know why u would need it in pregnancy'.thats really made me feel good??!!
i hope ur all ok.

wow didnt realize this got others too i am thinkin about having baby number 4 the only thing putting me off is the anxiry i get during pregnancy i go completly irational and become convinced everyone is gonna die and every imaginable tradgedy is gonna happen all at once. i didnt realize this happened to others i thought i was mad! i too return to normal straight after delivery although it does seem to get worse with each pregnancy.