Question(s) for PND sufferers

[FeelAshamed]

For those of you with PND,how/when did you know/realise you had PND and weren't just suffering from lack of sleep/rampant hormones etc etc.

Was there one event that made you suddenly realise or was it a slow realisation.
Did you realise yourself or did someone point it out for you.?

Sorry for all the questions. I had a bad reaction towards ds (10months) over something quite trivial this morning and have scared myself. I've been bad-tempered with him before and always put it down to tiredness once I'd calmed down and felt ok again. This time I just don't know.

I began to suspect something was up when I realised that I was very low for most of the time, without any particular provocation. Cried a lot, felt very anxious, and generally did not feel like myself.
This was with my second baby, quite soon after he was born. After I got diagnosed, I realised I had PND with my first baby, but I'd just sort of assumed it was normal to feel as miserable as I did for most of her first year.
People experience PND in very different ways. Losing perspective may be an indicator if happens a lot -- please don't beat yourself up about a one-off or something that happens sporadically.
Don't feel ashamed.

I knew as soon as ds was born, that it wasn't right. The crunch moment came when she was about 3 months; she wouldn't feed properly, I screamed at her and threw her onto the bed. That was when I realised I needed help. As BP said a one-off over reaction doesn't necessarly mean anything.

Thanks for your replies.

Thing is it's not just a one off. I've lost it in small degrees quite a few times, end up slamming doors, shouting at him, and sticking a pillow over my head so i can cry/scream without the neighbours hearing. Every-time when I've calmed down I wonder WTF happened?

But this time i really shocked myself. If I'd heard someone else say what I said to their 10 month old i'd be considering calling SS!. Even though I really didn't mean it, just the fact that it got as far as being said is pretty appauling

If you're feeling like that on a regular basis you MUST speak to your HV or GP. I've a 8 month old DD (1st baby) and have suffered depression before. I often feel low and have a real issue surrounding DD feeding as she's very difficult. I've seen my GP and yesterday had an appt with the Gateway Mental health Worker at my surgery. She believes I'm suffering with anxiety rather than PND and has referred me to see a one to one anxiety management counsellor. I'm already feeling better just for having talked to a professional.

So, please make an appointment to talk to someone even if its only to reassure you that you're not going mad!!

Take care.

Edinburgh test here

Keep posting

I scored about 11 on that which seems to make me borderline???

I wasn't so good this afternoon either, so think I might be making an appointment tomorrow to see someone. I can't keep being like this with ds, he doesn't deserve it.

I suffered with pnd and felt ashamed that I was dd mum and preg with ds thought that they deserved better than me, got help from hv and gp and eventually went to therapy but found the most help came from my hv, I had to accept that I am only human and have limits and that its ok to feel fed up and get annoyed, there is only so much we can take. I also learnt not to fight my emotions and to just go with it not thinking about it too much. Not sure if that helps but I'm here along with loads of others for support should you need it

Good decision FA. Let us know how you get on.

I got a score of over half . My hv suggested that I went to my local pnd support group. I've been 2 out of 3 times so far. They have a creche which I can pop ds1 in which is great. I plan to go again after ds2 is born, which he should have been born today - but he's late arriving!

Similar thing to you. Felt i was a crap parent. Shouted and lost it ALOT with my children over nothing. Cried most days over seemingly nothing. Was absolutely exhausted but couldnt sleep. Was paranoid that no-one liked me and that no-one cared about me. Felt lonely. Couldnt muster the energy to do ANYTHING. Then felt crap coz couldnt do housework and house was a mess. Couldnt leave the house unlesse i absolutely had to do shopping etc. BUT found things improved much when DP came home. It seemed to settle me. This is what threw me for some time.

Posted on here under another name about how rubbish a mum I was. Posters here made me realise that perhaps I needed to see GP although I was starting to realise that myself.

Fell apart on gp visit. Lovely GP had me in her room for over half an hour whilst i cried and cried. She was great. Prescribed me ADs. They helped (take a couple of weeks to work). She also tried to get me help from HV and local Surestart type operation.

Still had sleep problems and some down days so dose was double 4 months later. Havent looked back since.

I'm hoping that my Dr will be able to help with some AD's, but I'm planning on breastfeeding, so don't know what the situation is regarding that. I'm forever telling my poor 17mth ds off and losing my temper with him I was kind of hoping its pregnancy hormones and that I'd be back to my calmer self after the birth, but I'm not so sure. I'm dreading coping with 2 under 2.

BB, im still b/feeding DS - he is 15 months and i have been taking AD's since Dec. I take Sertraline - these are deemed to be okay with b/feeding.

Thanks VeniVidiVickiQV, I'll bear that name in mind when I come to discussing depression with my gp or hv.

IU was diagnosed with pnd when ds was 10 months old. HAd refused to fill in that questionnaire when he was alot younger thinking i was all ok. I was grumpy with ds at 10 months but I was more down on myself. Didnt realise how depressed i was (had never had it before) and though pnd meant you didnt want to be near baby. I didnt feel like that, i just hated me.

PND needs to be diagnosed by qualified person as you could simply be sleep deprived and or hormonal. You know you best, family and friends would notice a difference too. I think it is importan t just to speak to HV or someone you have faith in re how you are feeling.

IF you are depressed, there is alot of help and support and it is recoverable. MOtherhood doesn thave to be miserable xxx lots of luck and please dont feel ashamed

Birstingbug, how you doing today? Ive got 2 under 2 (dd 20 months ds 6 months) you'll be amazed how the older one helps in their own little way, dd makes ds laugh when he cries which is so sweet, think of the positives they will be close and grow up together. I wont lie it is hard work but very rewarding too! Let us know how you get on and dont feel ashamed take care xx

Birstingbug, how you doing today? Ive got 2 under 2 (dd 20 months ds 6 months) you'll be amazed how the older one helps in their own little way, dd makes ds laugh when he cries which is so sweet, think of the positives they will be close and grow up together. I wont lie it is hard work but very rewarding too! Let us know how you get on and dont feel ashamed take care xx

Morning Funny! Not too bad thanks, ds was up at 6 as he fell out of bed . He's gone off to nursery today and back about 5.30 I'm off to the midwife in just under 2 hrs. Still need to do housework as I feel the house is a mess, just getting the motivation to start it!

Oh dear, hope he's ok!! My ds is doing the walking into stuff because she wont look where she is going thikng at the mo!!! Take a little time to yourself sit have a cup of tea and relax for a bit if you work up the motivation do the housework do it if not dont! Wait til later, after mw appointment, bound to have a bit more motivation then, if not just do the important bits! Take it easy you are pregnant with another little one aswel cant be expected to do everything to the impossibly perfect standard we set ourselves xx

I'm sure ds will be fine, he's always bumping into stuff too! dh is home on holiday then paternity leave, promised me couple time this afternoon as we're always on our pc's. So i'll try and get some stuff done before then.

citalopram are also ok whilst pregnant and breast feeding.

I had pnd with both of mine 1st time round i struggled through and lied to every one as I was sure that they would take my baby away. HV eventually sussed me out when DD was 10 months old. Second time round I went to ask for help when DS was 5 weeks old GP laughed at me so I called HV and she got me an apponitment with one of the other gp's at the surgery and pushed for me to go ad's again, got me councelling and a homestart volunteer. She comes out to see me at home once a fortnight as well as seeing me at clinic when I can get there.

mummyhil, they did take mine he is back with me now tho and doing very well and although stull my baby is def not a baby anymore.. a lovely wonderful mischeivious 6 and half year old

Awen - How I assume that you were an extreme case though? I am seriousley over protective of my children and will only leave them with DH, grandparents, my sister or a close friend who has sadly moved away. Apart from school for dd cause I haven't got much choice there.

Severe PND. In hospital. Was still mamanging care of ds, never rejected him or anything like that. Hated myself. V long story and complete and utter cock-up of ssd/cafcass at the time.

Thankfully it is rare for the cock-ups to this extent happen, but sadly they do

Despite that tho things are unbeleivably good now. When I first came onto to MN about 2 years ago i was worried i wouldnt be accepted as ds was still living with his dad. thankfully things started moving tho in that area and situaton is radically better. I am so grateful for all the support i was shown.

The amount of support and kindness shown to complete strangers as it were on this board is truly amazing. I am glad that you managed to sort it all out it must be great to have your DS back.

I felt particularly thretened earlier this year when someone decided that the best way to get me the help they thought I needed for my PNd etc was to report me to social services. I was terrified.

(prev name funnyyummymummy) when I was pregnant with ds my midwife said she would have to inform social services that I had pnd, I was so scared, I asked my healh visitor (for dd) if this was what was going to happen she said it was a load of rubbish and told my midwife off, its scary that at his vunerable time some health professionals dont know their facts. Awen I am so glad things are working out for you and I agree the support you get on here is phenomenal and Ive only been on here a short while