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Original poster

Please help me I feel like the worst mother in the world

33 replies

theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:01

Today i went out for a lovely day with some very dear friends who I haven't seen for a long time. DS (6) was really cheeky and rude to me all day and this has been happening such a lot recently. Nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. I was so embarressed and totally wound up that he had ruined my day and then I did possibly the worst thing in the world.
In the car driving home i tried to get him to see what he had done wrong and as I got no reaction I told him that he should pack his case and try and find somewhere else to live as I had had enough. He was justifiably upset and I was upset too but glad that he was showing a reaction for once.
I can't believe that I have acted in such a bullying and cruel way to my own child.
We made up when we got home but I said if he behaves like that again i will stop the car on the way home and drive off without him.
I love him more than anything but he is driving me crazy.
I am scared by my own actions. I wouldn't ever put him in danger but I feel I am such a bad mother for having these feelings.
I feel worse when i am with mums that seem to have such untroubled relationships with their children. It makes me feel like never mixing with others.

OP posts:
ocd · 31/07/2006 23:03

oh ti htink thats fair enogh
d3 was sucha chimp today i told him if he did nt behave hed hadevt odifond a new fanily as we onlty had " good boys " ehre

god youare himan fgs
forget it
as logn as its a rareity then thats ok

ocd · 31/07/2006 23:03

btw my g odmother REALLy left her ds once for a NIHGHT!!! he was 16 bit still,,,,,,,,,,,

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:05

Yes but I really laid it on thick and said that me and daddy didn't want him anymore. I'm scared of myself.

OP posts:
ocd · 31/07/2006 23:06

hell foget it
or not
its ok

we all make mistakes

next time try andre merber when you have made your pooint

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:09

Well, it's kind of you to to dismiss it like this (and I'm not being sarcastic)

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:10

As long as you don't habitually say such things to your ds (and I'm sure you don't) forget it and move on.

ocd · 31/07/2006 23:10

REALLY
go and get some sleep
we can all dwell on things wed like to chnage
itll be ok.
all of us have neen cross at some time.
we all try not to do ti again
!

nigth!

ocd · 31/07/2006 23:11

( ps to make youself feel betetr - and him how abotu i set some homework?)
try and find 10 things tomorrow he does well or nice htings abto him adn tell him?
youll btoh LOVE it
wil check in tomrrow night

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:12

No, i don't but sometimes I feel like I want to hurt him very badly. I wouldn't but I'm scared by the intensity of my feelings.

OP posts:
Aero · 31/07/2006 23:12

Let it go..............have said similar to dd in the car. Reaction was satisfactory at the time and I don't feel bad at all as I know I'd never really have to find her some new parents as we clearly weren't up to the job!! Sometimes you just do these things - we're all human and parenting isn't the easist job in the world. We all get stressed sometimes and unfortunately we take it out on our children if they have caused the stress levels to rise in the first place.

I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you've reassured him and you've made up, then I'd put it behind you and move on.

handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:15

I've felt like that too shrimp (that I wanted to hurt one or both of them very badly). I was a little depressed at the time. I get Seasonally Affective Disorder. Right now (high summer) I'm on top of the world

Are you a little down / under stress?

ocd · 31/07/2006 23:15

hmc i have my eye on you

re. meet up

Aero · 31/07/2006 23:16

Theshrimp - they are feelings, just feelings. As long as you know you're not going to act on them (believe me, I feel like stringing my three up at some point on an almost daily basis), then you're doing ok.

puddle · 31/07/2006 23:18

I don't think you should beat yourself up about it but also I would try not to make a threat that you have no intention of carrying out.

How do you manage his behaviour? DS is the same age - we have zero tolerance for rudeness(straight up to his room, or time docked on the computer - he gets 30 mins every other day.)

handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:18

Do you indeed ocd?

Btw I booked your hair salon recommendation the other day, but Rob (was it?) was fully booked so I had to take Kazzy. Any good?

Sorry for hijack theshrimp

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:18

Yes.
Just coming off Prozac. I should go and see my Doctor but I find it really, really hard to say any of this. I come across as a very bright and breezy character but it's a very thin facade which doesn't slip very often.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:19

Ah perhaps you still need the prozac then? - there's nothing wrong with anti depressants if they keep you on an even keel....

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:21

Don't apolognize for the hi-jacks, it's nice, like having lots of friends in the room.

Puddle- the strange thing is, Ds is pretty good and polite at home, it's when he is with other children. I think it is a form of showing off.

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puddle · 31/07/2006 23:27

Shrimpy - they all do that at this age don't they? They are trying to be independent and showing a bit of bravado with their mates but they are still such little boys underneath.

I do sympathise - I have really lost my temper a couple of times with ds - especially when he's trying on a 'whatever' type dumb insolence he's seen at school.

Will you go and see your gp do you think?

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:34

Yes. I will go and see the doc. It's such a hurdle tho'.
I think a lot of those american 'der, whatever" teen sitcoms have a lot to answer for. That kind of talk seems to be everywhere right now. it's hard to articulate what exactly they are saying is rude as it's not bad language or hurtful phrases, it's just really annoying and disrespectful!

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handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 23:35

Best of luck theshrimp.

I have to hit the sack now though, goodnight

Original poster
theshrimp · 31/07/2006 23:36

Thanks everyone. you've been wonderful.

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ocd · 01/08/2006 11:09

yes shirmpy have a few days crakc down on it and htat shoudl sett he tone

hmc rovert is always booked up - its a unique expereince there iull telly ou theya re hiilarious - the place look sa tip but its such fun.

id trya d get robert BUT she is nice too

Helennn · 01/08/2006 11:36

My son is 6 and sounds like your son's twin. He can be absolutely lovely and very loving, but on the other hand he can drive me absolutely mad. Earlier I told him he might end up in prison, he then said he couldn't go to prison as he was too young - I said "have you never heard of young offender institutions"? Afterwards, (or when you look at them asleep), you can't believe you've said it, but they can just push you so far

Original poster
theshrimp · 01/08/2006 12:31

I said to myself that I would try to spend some quality time playing and talking to him today but I have completely shut down emotionally and don't want to be near him. This is awful. I am hiding out in the kitchen while he watches endless TV.

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