Pychotic.

[selfdestructivelady]

I've been seeing things my dad my ex who raped me and ghosts. I'm also scared dh is a secret rapist and will rape me. I'm scared to sleep I can't call crisis because my psychiatrist said if I'm constantly up there social services will be informed. I clamp my eyes shut to block out the images but I still hear them. I have my ear phones in but they are not stopping me from hearing things.

I had acute psychosis a couple of times.

Social services were informed, but nothing came of it.

I assume you have kids? Are they with someone who can look after them while you get help?

They are with dh ATM but in the same house.

I'm having a similar dilemma right now, do I do something as I can't stop the thoughts, or ring for help and risk ss being involved again. Can you talk to dh? X

You poor thing :( Do you think you could possibly confide in Dh and let him in on the state of your mind at present. You have to invite reason in and don't let the psychosis darken your mind. Can you make appt' with psych for Monday? Are you on any medication? Also remember that Dcs will be looked after by Dh if you need to get treatment. Sorry I have no magic words of healing.

Dh is aware that I'm in a bad place and experiencing some psychosis. But not the full extent of it and I'm scared of him right now.

Yes I'm on meds

Do you have meds? If so, could you phone crisis and ask for advice on taking some, or increasing the dose if you are already taking them?

What meds are you on?

30 mg aripiprazole which is the maximum dose. Sodium valproate 400mg and 2 mg of clonazepam.

I will call crisis if I'm still the same in the morning.

Hi crisis may be able to help you with reviewing your meds for emergencies. Some prn medication could be really helpful. try not to let the thought of SS being phoned stop you from getting the help that you need.

I don't know anything about psychosis, but wondering what it is the SS would do if they knew you were psychotic? Is it because it is a notifiable condition?

Yes, it is a notifiable condition. In my case, they informed the HV and ds1's school. That was all, presumably because the crisis team had notified that there was no risk to the children.

Do you have a CPN? or Caseworker? I ask because a lot of your most recent posts seem quite similar ( I posted on one recently)

If you do then they do need to know that you are psychotic- you may need a meds review.

Your current medication regime wont make a significant 'dent' in any psychotic symptoms- in fact studies have shown that aripiprazole can worsen psychosis.

My psychiatrist won't listen that the aripiprazole is not working. He just tells me I'm being paranoid. And crisis tried to change my meds but my psychiatrist refused so that was the end of that.

It is possible to ask for a second opinion, or even to change psych. It's a dilemma for HCP as to whether to believe their patients with mh issues, which is an absolute pain in the bum, and leads to our insights being disregarded, and even to physical complaints going untreated.

I think you may have to take that leap of faith and trust DH, and confide in him.

If you do not report psychosis to the crisis team then they cannot help support your medication change. If nobody knows officially then sadly no one can change medication. You could contact crisis today, and get them to help you - they have a psychiatrist as part of their team they can talk to.

Do you have a poor historical relationship with your local services? Its seems so odd that your Psychiatrist is obstructive.

He seemed annoyed that he was being told what to do if I'm honest. He gave me a row for it and was quite nasty saying as I couldn't cope with olanzapine and depakote I'd never cope with lithium. The olanzapine did make me stable but it made me gain too much weight. He said I was being difficult on purpose because while I am diagnosed with bipolar j am also diagnosed with borderline. Any time I kick up a fuss he blames it on the borderline and says there is no way I am still having bipolar symptoms with all the meds I'm on.

If I'm honest he also gave me a big telling off for a overdose and said I was using bipolar as a excuse and that it was my borderline that was making me feel this way and if I didn't behave he would take my meds away. He is quite a arsehole if I'm honest.

But I'm not confrontational and I find it hard to stand up to him and any time I do he blames it on my borderline.

You have the right to write to your Trust and request a change of Consultants. He may not agree with it but the Medical Director of the Trust will be aware of your concerns and will have to raise them with your consultant.

I do think that borderline is used to make people STFU sometimes. Meds don't always work and different combos are needed. Your psych sounds like an utter arse.

Jen that's exactly how I feel.

The more I hear and learn about BPD and the way people who are diagnosed are treated, the angrier I get.

I had a psych that I really didn't like. I refused to see him, so they let me see someone else. Is that a possibility?