Banishing the winter blues, warming each other up in The Village

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

Err, we need a new thread guys - I know this is Vicar's job so i hope you like the name.

This thread is a support group for those with mental health issues and generally feeling crap, some of us are on medication, some of us have help.

So come on in, grab a stool at the pub, the fires warm and the welcome is warmer - stay a while or move right on in!

All welcome

Ha! im not very good at this!

I hope you had an enjoyable bath, DD32

Yes, almost everyone seems to be about 5'2", how odd!

I'm not great at the moment, trying to take things one step at a time.

Hi everyone. Haven't read the while thread but from the pages I have read, you all seem lovely. I am a newbie to the thread and to this section but a bit of an old timer on other boards.

So, my story... I experienced a really difficult period about 18 months ago. Lots going on, big house move, busy dc, busy work, poorly parents... So it all got too much and I had a bit of a breakdown. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Went down the counselling route. Took time off work and then went back on reduced days. Work were great. Got stronger and stronger as the months passed.

Just as I was feeling back on my feet and up to speed, I lost my dad quite suddenly. It was terrible but I gave myself time to greive, focused on enjoying life with my own little family. Things started to get back to normal again, the pain lessened.

Christmas came. Our first one without Dad. It all went ok. Not as upsetting as I thought it would be. Then the beginning of last month came. My dad's birthday. It was so incredibly hard but I allowed myself to greive, looked after myself. But I can't seem to bounce back this time. I feel like I'm slipping on the slope of grief and worse still, at the bottom of the slope is the pit of depression just waiting for me to fall. And I am very, very scared.

Thank you for reading.

Welcome Finola1step

Thank you Snowymouse

Welcome Finola

Well, the psychiatrist went as well as can be expected. He started off by saying that I'm female, so I shouldn't need a job anyway. Then he said I should demand that they give me paid leave for 6 months, so that I can recover. Like that would ever happen.

He's trebled the dose of Propanolol that he'd like me to take, and prescribed Quetiapine, which I'm a bit nervous about.

Finding a new job remains priority. I've got two interviews tomorrow, and I haven't heard back from the job I've had three interviews for yet, but hopefully that will happen soon.

It feels like if I could get a job, I could try and sort everything else out. Although DP is sorry for upsetting me today, so that's helped.

I couldn't even cook tongight. I tried three meals and ruined them all.

Prrfftt.

i am 5'2" and 15 stone

welcome to the newbies - i posted a big long post earlier and it must have disappeared into the ether :(

strange few days, keeping myself busy - look like im doing great, on the outside Just feel a bit floundery.

There is likely to be a big upheaval in the PFA at school and i think i would be expected to stand as chair - whats that saying that involves, chance, snowballs and hell? So feeling a bit pants about that really as i felt i had found a niche.

Finola - i am sorry to hear about your dad, it was losing my father that precipitated my first breakdown. Like you, the grief didn't hit me straight away and i dont think i recognised it for what it was either. It is good that you have allowed yourself to greive for him. Are you on any medication now?

just popping in...

Hi finola so sorry to hear about your dad and what sounds like a really tough 18 months. Has your GP been supportive - is it worth another chat there so s/he knows what's happening? Is counselling an option again? Sorry for qns, but welcome.

caja your psychiatrist sounds interesting sympathies re: the dinner thing. I can remember that stage very clearly and its no fun. Good luck with the job hunting.

lem if you don't want to stand, don't. If it's any consolation I wouldn't in a million years

snowy I'm back to my greys anatomy now if I can stay awake long enough.. how 'bout you?

Welcome to newbies :)

Sorry for ur loss finola

caja ur psychiatrist sounds pants. Any chance u can change him? Don't be hard on urself re dinner I've been through that phase & kinda still going through it. It is just the way for now but will change back to normal soon. I've been on quet

Quick post I'm still in hospital it seems to be going okaish first week nearly over one more to go! On the plus point I'm losing weight.... Put on

Stupid phone posted too soon

caja I've been on quetiapine it's a good drug & does help but I put on lots of weight with it so had it changes recently. Ur experience won't necessarily b the se as me & itay really wrk for u.

finola I agree with ciq re visiting ur G.P again & perhaps get back on counselling if it helped the first time.

I wanted to share that I put on a size 14 trousers today snug fit put it fits!!! So I'm losing weight :) it's put me in a good mood today though headache still continues :(

Hope all r having a good day :)

I'm feeling inundated by self help reading, both CPNs have brought and left stuff for me. They want me to monitor my depression and psychosis better, and cope better with the voices.

Got told off for not taking the diazepam

Oh snowy just read what u can absorb for now & leave the rest to later. Skipping meds is not a good idea as the effects can b bad but u know that. Did the cpn tell u ways to monitor ur depression? An idea that works for me is keeping a mood diary of good & bad days - then u can look at each month and see how many good vs bad days u have. I've not done myself recently and should take my own advice but it really can help to put things in perspective.

I'm really sleepy tonight but DD is still up so waiting for her to go to sleep so I can too :(

There's a computer program that helps monitoring mood/psychosis which I'm going to try using - it's one that my psych team can look at too.

I think it's a balancing act with diazepam, take too much and it stops working for you.

I hope you get some rest soon, DD32, I know the feeling, have to wait up until someone comes.

Going to bed now, phew.

Night night snowy

Hi all. Thank you for all your lovely replies. You are all very kind and good people. Today has been a much better day. I don't work on Fridays so being at home has definitely helped today. Not having to face my usual 3 hour daily commute (which I quite like) which has been more like five hours this past week, has been a big bonus.

My GP has been incredibly supportive in the past and I think I might go back and see him. I don't take any medication but try to eat healthily, exercise etc.

I also have a diagnosis of SAD and these past few months if dreadful weather have had quite an impact I think. I have upped my light therapy today and spent some time pottering in the garden this afternoon as it was quite sunny. Glorious.

As to returning to counselling. I know that greoif counselling is a route I should probably take. But I'm just not ready yet. Does that make sense?

Hope you lovely people have a peaceful weekend. Many thanks.

Totally makes sense finola - counselling is heavy going, yes, its beneficial but it is very hard, feel worse before you feel better type thing.

OK day today, we bought some logs so have been nice and warm this evening - not achieved very much though, apart from back ache after shifting over a tonne of logs

Love to all - tired now x

Spent today battling very paranoid and negative thoughts re how I am perceived and thought of by other mums at school . Head just won't let go. College ok yest cos completely diff gp of older people who I don't feel threatened by/comparing myself with. But school mums conversations not even about me I manage to take personally! Ds ill this pm, hoping he's not worse tomorrow? Don't have physical or mental energy to care for him - what a good mum! Right sleep.

Night finola, lem

Love to all, oldies and newies

Its been 5 weeks now since I've been back at work, doing Nana's old job, and I'm loving it. Don't know where I'd be without 100mg Sertraline though, even so my sleep has suffered over the last few weeks.

Trying to keep a balance, as occy health advised, so I take time to swim and have lunch, and go for a bit of a walk in the day.

Good to read the posts, so identify with a lot of stuff, paranoid thoughts, not good enough feelings, breakdowns triggered by parents death etc.

Good to read descriptions. Im 52, 5'4, 10 stone ish. Glasses, brown hair in a bob, going grey. Big fat tummy, so I don't wear skirts but live in leggins, long tops and boots, with the occasional shift dress. Love red lipstick, it cheers me up, but emphasizes my hag-ness sometimes

Lots of and a nice to anyone reading and lots of (((hugs))) to anyone struggling today.

Lots of 5ft 2 ladies here. I feel right at home :)

I'm 5ft 2 and 11 stone 8.5 (only know that accurately thanks to Slimming World scales). Should probably be somewhere near 8, am slowly getting there. I have brown/mousy hair in a choppy short style at the minute, but I'm trying to grow it out for April so I can look all pretty on the ice with my hair done up. I wear glasses.

Had a meeting at the children's centre yesterday - put my new DBS check in and went through some more paperwork. Talked about the sessions I'll be volunteering at and what they're about. Also talked about child protection, fire safety, first aid etc. Will be after half term that I can start volunteering with the children, but I'm still going to be attending the parent group on a Thursday as we're looking into social enterprises, and I can also help with governance and planning events.

All very good, everyone is lovely. And yet, I'm still nervous.

The thought of a room full of 2 or 3 year olds still scares me somewhat, and I can't quite put my finger on why.

Anyway, off to Manchester on the train tomorrow - the friends who normally give me a lift to watch the ice hockey aren't coming from our area tomorrow, so I need to meet them at the game, and they'll give me a lift home. I'm thinking Arndale Centre, Nandos then hockey.

Unless anyone can recommend any other food places.

Happy Birthday NN and belated wishes to DD32

Violet I think anyone who isn't scared of a room full of 2-3 year olds must have something wrong with them! Enjoy your trip tomorrow.

CIQ Hope your DS is ok today. LEM shifting logs is hard work, I've hurt my back just from changing DD's nappy today!

Snowy I hope your reading has been helpful and you're doing ok.

I'm going to steal some of hoochy's description. I'm 31, 5'9, 9 stone 2. Glasses, brown hair in a bob, going grey. Big fat tummy, so I don't wear skirts but live in jeans which seem to be continually muddy at the moment. Thanks DC's. Trying to get some self control together to go on a diet and finally lose the baby weight but it isn't happening. Am wondering if I use all of it up trying to get through the day.

I was upset by DH this morning, but I think I'm being paranoid again so I haven't said anything. Was hoping to be able to have another counselling session next week, but my counsellor has been called abroad for a month and our previous session was cut short, the one before that was cancelled and I feel a bit adrift at the moment. Going back to lurking, as I don't feel I actually have anything to add to this thread but sending you all my best wishes (if they are actually worth anything).

Hello everyone - just lurking. I feel unbelievably crap today and it's the worst birthday I've ever had I think - spent most of morning under duvet and a few crying bouts. Now managed to shower and eat but feel totally drained. Sorry can't "reach out" to anyone.

Oh NN - but we can reach out to you [gentle enfolding duvetlike hug]

(((( NanaNina )))) take good care of you.

Been asleep most of the day feel so crap & out of energy!!!

Happy birthday NN :)

((( Hugs to all struggling & lurking like me today )))