Banishing the winter blues, warming each other up in The Village

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

Err, we need a new thread guys - I know this is Vicar's job so i hope you like the name.

This thread is a support group for those with mental health issues and generally feeling crap, some of us are on medication, some of us have help.

So come on in, grab a stool at the pub, the fires warm and the welcome is warmer - stay a while or move right on in!

All welcome

Ha! im not very good at this!

Sounds good. A mini ben and jerrys tub made it into tomorrow's grocery delivery, and some stuffed olives, and I've just noticed pizza hut have a £5 pizza deal on, maybe for tomorrow?

On second thoughts, no pizza on top of the ice cream.

I've done it. I've used the 'D word' with work. I got an email from them asking about something which was supposed to have been completed in December, which of course I completely forgot about due to my brain being all over the place. I responded to the email, offering a reasonable solution and apologised as it was my responsibility to facilitate the task. I have admitted that I've been diagnosed with depression and am getting help for it. I am now however crying a lot and I don't know if it's out of fear of what their response will be, or relief that I've finally said it, or both.

I have felt like such a terrible employee, with rubbish concentration and forgetting some important stuff, and hated myself so much for it that I kept imagining ways that I could have some sort of accident or (physical) illness that would legitimately get me out of the job.

I do still want to leave but only when I can find something better when I'm feeling better. I've just been living in fear that I'm rubbish and they'll see right through me and think I'm lazy and just sack me. Having a really wobbly day.

Well done Error I remember how hard it was to tell my DPhil supervisors when I was first diagnosed, I felt I let them down but it's the depression, not you causing the problems.

Have you thought about talking to occupational health about your depression?

I only work part time anyway and sometimes from home so I'm 'off work' quite a lot and didn't realise this could be an option for me but I'll look into it. I've been obsessively checking my emails and not sure what to make of the following response:

Hi Error, that’s fine, thanks. Sorry that you’ve been unwell.

Thanks

[bossname]

Perhaps he is just busy and that's ok but I'm still worried. Had a couple of emails from others in the mean time which I've successfully dealt with, probably due to me working on pure adrenaline at the moment!

I do feel I've let work down, it has been so hard masquerating as a functional person all this time. So I hope what I'm currently feeling is a form of relief that it's 'out there'. Just desperate to have my life back, but on tablets are you supposed to feel a bit worse before you get better? Or is it such a gradual change you barely notice until you've made some significant progress milestone?

masquerading

The tablets take weeks to work unfortunately, but if you don't see improvement after 6 weeks you should go back to the prescriber I think.

Boss' email sounds supportive to me.

I'm going back to the GP when this supply is nearly finished in, just for a review. Tomorrow I get the results from my blood test to see if there are any underlying thyroid/liver function issues so that's caused me a bit of anxiety too but not as much as the work stuff.

Thanks for interpreting the email that way Snowy, I wasn't sure myself, but I understand sometimes people don't know what to say in this situation, but saying sorry that I've been unwell is probably enough recognition for now. As long as I keep producing work to my best (though currently limited) ability, I hope they'll be understanding.

I feel a bit better now for having got all that off my chest. Thank you. Hope everyone else is having an ok day. I'm going to make myself a coffee and cuddle a cat!

Oh good, a review is a good idea.

I'm worried that someone is in the flat with me

Oh Snowy what a horrible feeling. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? I don't have personal experience of paranoia but know family members who have and it's distressing for them. Aside from actually checking, all I could suggest is having some background noise like radio or TV which sometimes helps me if I'm anxious. Complete silence is unnerving to me. Sorry I can't suggest anything more helpful. ((hug))

Thanks. I have got the tv on, helping a little

error well done for telling your employer. I too think that is a supportive email.

snowy that sounds a creepy (and crappy) feeling. Does checking put your mind at rest?

Had a horrible night last night - thought I'd heard a noise outside and it sent my anxiety into the stratosphere. I did sleep, but then had a dream that I'd had a full on, standing, screaming row with the job centre.

Not fun :(

Better today, but phone interview didn't go well - they wanted someone who could drive, ideally, so they could go and pick stuff up from other stores. They said as I've never driven or owned a car my product knowledge would be lower and they like their staff to have some basic knowledge before training. That's fair enough, obviously this job was not meant to be :)

Maintained at weigh in, which is OK. Was hoping for a loss but it's that time of the month so maintaining is good.

Checking helps, Sparkly, just not for long. Sorry you had such a night, Violet I'm sorry about the job, but well done on the weight maintain, it's hard to do.

Pizza ordered, I need to find some non food distractions/treats too. I already listen to music/tv/audiobooks, mnet, knit sort of.

I watched the first lecture on my online course today and I understood it - it wasn't anything highbrow to be honest and i did have to stop a few times to listen again because he did zoom through things but i enjoyed it. Now of course i have the first set of homework to do but not too daunted. Its a pretty good distraction snowy :) link This is the link - you can use it to link in to the rest of the website and find a course that may interest you snowy - something light but interesting an distracting? Just an idea, don't worry if its not for you. Main thing - its free!

Nothing wrong wiht pizza shaped distraction, what will you have on yours? DP took me to lunch - i had salad or it would have been if it hadn't have been stilton and bacon with loads of mayonase!

House is a mess though - anxiety really high but keeping a lid on things (just). Hate January, just hate it.

How are you doing Sparkly?

I need a new name - can't have Santa in it for much longer.

Error - snowy is right, it does take a while for the meds to kick in, and yes, you can feel worse to start with but do persevere - very often you find yourself feeling better and not recognising it for a few weeks, if that makes sense, rather than there being a marked difference between days. The email from work sounds supportive and fine. You have done the right thing for letting them know.

Thanks LEM I'm contemplating giving up 2 out of 3 OU modules that I'm doing, because my concentration is rubbish. I might switch back to an old username...

Actually, there's still a chance of snow..

One of my friends is threatening to od

for your friend, snowy - will she listen to you?

I am fine, though still to finish off Christmas - have presents still to deliver, and must write to those who didn't get cards... Am feeling rather indolent though.

Well its not good if its stressing you out snowy - study is supposed to be fun But maybe postpone rather than give up, there is nothing like feeling you are juggling to bugger your concentration, so doing one at a time will be much better i'm sure. Ive only taken on an hours worth a week - thats enough!

Sad for your friend - can you direct them to help?

I'd quite like some snow - just for one day! except it has to snow everywhere apart from the roads, so everyone keeps safe

Yes, I might postpone. It's hard with my friend, she has severe chronic pain, nothing helps it. She's just been discharged, she's been inpatient (and suicidal) for 8 + months. Crisis team just tell her to distract etc. So it's very hard to know what say, she's already spoken to them today, and been at the day hospital all day.

Perhaps you should have some you time, Sparkly

Yes, no snow on the roads and pavements please!

Ha, it's all me time atm - I quite like doing nothing much, some of the time.

Fair enough

Actually, snowy, you are quite right - I need some different me time - exercise and visiting friends, am in a sort of blurgh rut if I am really honest.