if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

Those sound like nice plans, LollipopViolet I hope your cold goes soon. I've just wrapped some more presents.

Very new to this.. I have just been given a prescription of setraline by the docs. I also dread the 'off work?' comments as have had several weeks off now over the last couple of months. Went back to work but found the stress of it just dragged me down again. Ended up worse off.

Avoiding real life by hiding away at home..don't even want to walk the dogs in case someone says hello. Can't make the simplest phone calls because i will have to speak to someone. Managed my whole adult life as a coper and never experienced this feeling of helplessness or feeling this low before. Struggling to get through the day without crying.

Came on here by chance and it's good to see other people's perspectives and ways of coping.. glad i'm not alone.

You are definately not alone wetwetwetfan - and another good thing about this thread is that those of us who have been here for a while can really see the progress we make. Sometimes we take several steps backwards but the encouraging thing is once you start on treatment then things really do start to pick up. Can be a bit pants when you first start on ADs as they take about a week to work and in the meantime you can get some side effects, they vary, but they do go so don't be disheartened if you feel a bit rubbish for a few days. First time i was on ADs i felt fine, second time was a bit pants.

This is a great thread for a rant or to unload worries, or just day to day stuff. There is never pressure and NEVER judging - judgypants have to be left on the outskirts of this village :)

Had a lovely walk with the dogs today, tide was out so we were able to walk along a long shingle "street" which anyone who lives near by will be able to work out where i live! Dogs now asleep on my lap. I went to be really early last night and feel better for it.

Hope you are feeling less stressed today CiQ you were really kind on that other thread, but you should be careful of letthing things be a trigger. Saying that, its where we have experience so its hard to leave someone in a similar position. Someone generally does come along.

Ed how many days now?

Vicar I hope you are having an OK week.

Snowy - hope you are doing good

And of course everyone else x

Welcome wetwetwetfan

I'm feeling really quite low, not sure I shall go to art therapy tomorrow.

Been in denial about my MH for a while now. For some kind of context, was diagnosed with SAD at 16, prescribed a low dose of prozac but I refused to take them because someone I know scared me with horror stories of side effects. I was young and impressionable so I just carried on. Existing was a real challenge, I have zero motivation and have no idea how I dragged myself through college and university, quitting and false starting many times.

Anxiety and depression has fluctuated since, always unmedicated (and of course worse in the winter.) I had a course of CBT earlier this year after my anxiety sky-rocketed, my parents had persuaded me to go the to GP and I had my DM with me for moral support. I did feel better for a time, I really tried to take on board the practical advice but I struggled to put in into practice when I felt low or anxious, and on my worksheets, my 'progress' looked a lot more promising than I felt.

I work part time, mostly from home, been avoiding work, doing the bare minimum, and sometimes avoiding friends. My friends wouldn't have a clue about how hopeless I feel. When I'm with them I feel like I'm putting on a very hammy performance of 'being the usual me' and think that they must see what a fraud I am. I just want to be doing something with a purpose but need to find the motivation which is always out of reach when I look for it on my own. The crying for no reason whatsoever is the worst because I can't even say 'what's wrong', there just isn't an explantion for it. I know what I need to do, go back to the GP for more help and probably pills this time, but very anxious and would also struggle to get out of bed to go. I hardly leave the house now.

Just thought following this thread might give me a bit of hope if it's possible to feel that again. Hello.

It was probably just as well you didn't take the proac at 16, it would probably not been great as it is now known to increase suicidal thoguhts in that age group. But now you may well benefit from a similar drug. I am on citalopram which is in the same group as prozac and it really helps.

You probably do need to go back to see the GP, don't be hard on yourself - if you want to go back to bed, then do, with the promise that you will go for a walk when you get up?

Welcome to the village x

Welcome OnDasherrorOnDancerror
What would help you to go and see the GP?

Hello ondasherondancer have to pop out in a mo but wanted to say welcome and hello. As lem says upthread its a great place for support and sharing how things are.

Hi wetwetwetfan too.

Also greetings to lem, snowy, hoochy, pussycat anyone I've missed.

Snowy its annoying when you don't know what is bringing you down isnt it. Hope you do manage to get out tomorrow.

hoochy its going to sunny herr tomorrow - I'll go out for a walk if you will!

Thanks lem am doing better today. Counselling useful and so was lunch with a good friend. Think yest was caused partly by planning finances for potential extension (which stresses me out) and maybe triggering thread and also serious tiredness.

Off to dcs carol thing now... bit relentless at the mo...

Take care all x

Enjoy the carols, CIQ I'm glad counselling and lunch helped

Thank you for the welcome. I had tea with my parents (I live with them for various reasons) and I burst into tears yet again. My Dad's been bringing up the subject of medication for months now and I think it's starting to click, but I need to get over my own denial at how bad I've become. I think sometimes "well, I'm not suicidal so I can't be that bad", but I also know the way I am is no way to live either. It would be nice to have energy and motivation, and for me to stop avoiding my life and enjoy it. I feel I've lost capacity to enjoy things and when I do I'm just acting.

I'm actually away visiting some friends this weekend, has been planned for a long time so not something I can easily avoid if I wanted to. I am looking forward to seeing them but also dreading that I won't be myself and it will be obvious if I'm not having fun. I think I've got very good at masking my emotions, or lack of them!

I just need a push to go back to the GP, and the only way I feel I can make it is if someone literally shoves me through the surgery door. After my trip, I will force myself to go and ask about getting medication. I am scared of not being able to express myself well verbally to them, but I suppose now I've written it down I've committed to doing it so that has to be better than nothing.

Sometimes it can help to write things down before you go.

I will probably do that Snowy. Last time I just wrote down a list of symptoms but I got into the GPs office, totally choked and burst into tears, so I think that confirmed it. She was lovely and took me through that questionnaire to find out where on the anxiety/depression scale I was, then gave me a number to ring so I could get an assessment prior to either CBT or counselling.

I chose CBT because I liked the 'practical' element of it. Using certain techniques to control my thinking rather than just talking things out. However, it's become impossible for me to look at the worksheets as I've no motivation for that even. I definitely need something else but it's hard to admit to. I think I might even copy my posts on here, I do a much better job of expressing myself in writing.

I've not read this whole thread yet and didn't even realise there were others but I think it will help me to have some insight into all of your experiences.

Coincidentally I'm waiting to be assessed for psychotherapy, which may include CBT. Interesting what you say about it.

I definitely recommend CBT. I felt very positive after sessions. I think in my case I need the medication as well because CBT is not going to work on its own until I'm well enough to start using the techniques again. I think the standard is 8 sessions, and there's no limit to how many times you can go back if you need more. Obviously there could be a waiting list.

My GP actually said that between counselling and CBT, she thought CBT would be better because sometimes with counselling you can talk about things forever and you'd still never discover a root cause for the depression. She was being specific to me though because I was very much of the mindset that something must have caused this to happen to me. Rather than my new thinking of 'sometimes it just does for no reason'. I'm sure counselling is very beneficial too. It's horses for courses really.

I think that they will be assessing me for all sorts. The lady I'm seeing for assessment is CAT (Cognitive Analytic Therapy) trained. I know someone else who is getting psychodynamic therapy, all very confusing.

I agree, toolsets are good!

I'm feeling quite low tonight :( Not sure if it's due to this cold or what, but it's very annoying.

Might charge my Kindle for a bit, then retire to bed with a good book. I've succeeded in staying awake for longer than I did yesterday, anyway.

I hope it's just a blip, LollipopVoilet That sounds like a good plan

A good book sounds like a nice idea Lollipop, sometimes you need those sorts of distractions.

I've just been on the phone to DSis. About something totally unrelated, but then I got upset (again!) and told her everything. She then admitted to me that she's been on medication for anxiety for a few months. We had a really good chat and I feel so relieved that she told me. I had no idea. I won't feel so scared about going to the GP knowing I have DSis's support. I think I will go on Friday, but if I do start taking anything it will be after the weekend in case of any side effects. I want so much to be a normal functioning person again.

Hi Nancysgarden fellow newbie... Hope you find a good line to tell people about being off work. School drop off/pick up is a horrible time for me. So many bitty conversations, judgements, pressure to be witty. I find it exhausting. Anyway hope this time is giving you a breather.

Hi Lollipop - glad that you've reached a decision at work. Your boss sounds firm but supportive... Hope it takes the pressure off a bit and you get some clarity after the dust has settled.

Hi Sparkly/Snowy/LEM/Hoochy. Hope you've had a positive day.

I've had a more positive day today despite being under scrutiny from various senior people. Long story. Am just ready for a break from work. Although it's when I'm not occupied that I start having bad thoughts... But then I burn out... Then I'm just burnt out AND depressed. And the cycle continues...

On another note... At Christmas I think docs SHOULD prescribe chocolate! Imagine... I'm epileptic so I'd get it free drool pool!

Morning all feeling pretty good this morning.

Off for a walk in the mist after the school run! Am braving the looks and comments and to be honest it is much worse in my head than in reality.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Morning all

Good for you Nancy I am about to do the same.

I know what you mean about the school run Geoff - if I'm feeling a bit fragile it is vv hard.

Ondasher so pleased you had such an open conversation with your sister - brilliant, hopefully you can be supportive of each other.

Hope the book helped Lollipop

How are you doing today snowy, hoochy, lem?

I am still feeling knackered and headachy but suspect its hormone related so am going to try and ignore it a bit... Right just need to psych myself up for a foggy walk!

take care all x

Feeling a bit pants today. School fair done and dusted. So nothing to focus on apart from getting sorted for xmas. So feeling anxoius as no concrete plans. I need a job

((( Everyone )))

Feel better, I had an appointment this am with Occupational health for them to decide if I was fit to take this job. I had been brutally honest on this application form about the depression.. It was good, the nurse was very supportive and signed me fit for work, there's a free counselling service and if I get stressed they can do things like reduce workload etc.

I was worried about this tbh.

I'll just see how it goes and give work a try. If it's pants I will give it up.

When people asked me why I was off work, I just said that I was off with depression. This actually led to some good conversations as people then told me their or friends experiences. Either that or they never spoke to me again!!

Off for a coffee with an old friend. I have to always make myself do these kind of things, will it ever feel normal again..

Ondasher I have just worked my way through all 7 game of thrones books! Reading rubbish is so good!

Lem it'll happen when the right thing comes along. You've got a lot of stuff on atm. Are you going to do something nice today, just for you?

Hugs to everyone.

Having a bit of a crap morning myself. I've got prep work for a meeting later and I REALLY can't face going in and seeing people. I just know they'll notice I'm not with it. Trying to think of a way to get out of it, but I know avoidance is not a long term solution. If I could just send in the work but not attend, that would make me feel a bit of relief until I start getting on the road to wellness.

DSis phoned me earlier and was very supportive, she said we'll get through it together which was nice, even though she lives 300 miles away! I can't imagine what it will feel like to be better because I've got so used to feeling nothing. Getting myself to the GP is top priority now. If I don't look after myself then no-one else will, just annoyed it's taken me this long to realise it.

Sorry my posts are so self indulgent at the mo, I'm at that stage really, darkest before the dawn and that, but I hope when feeling better I'll be able to support you all in return.

x