if you feel those winter blues, move to our Village, spread the news!

[ThatVikRinA22]

new thread folks.....im losing track but i think this might be our 7th!

all welcome. old and new. This is a supportive place for anyone suffering with any type of mental health issue.

im on Sertraline (ADs) and have been since last December. I had 6 months off work with depression and anxiety and the ladies on these threads kept me going.

Feel free to post, to comment, to ask questions, or just to lurk and feel less alone.
everyone in the village is lovely.

Nah we've switched to I'm a Celeb

thanks all for letting me vent even though i am not being of much support to others right now....

nana lovely to "see" you!! thank you - im sure you are right, i think this is our 7th thread and i am feeling much better than this time last year - i am managing the stress quite well - however my marathon day yesterday went tits up and i have been scapegoated - i am getting ready, to defend myself but ultimately i think i am going to have to take a bollocking and smile and nod.
it isnt fair and it doesnt feel fair - but i dont think there is any point in arguing the toss - even the suspects solicitor has offered to speak to my supervisor in my defence, (which was absolutely lovely of him) but i think i can sense one almighty bollocking coming no matter what. i was just caught up in a series of unfortunate events that were beyond my control, but the timing was terrible....what happened caused embarrassment for a supervisor....never a good thing and i suspect i will be paying for it very shortly....(even though unless i had possessed the power of mind reading events were beyond my control....)

however - i am not stressing. much.

going to take the ratties up for a run and read a magazine. (and take my mind off whats about to happen work wise...)

i had some good news i suppose in that DS has got a job closer to home - bad news is he will be moving back in (i know how terrible that sounds but we get along much better when not living together)but he is pleased as he was getting very home sick.

im just going to get through the next few days and then enjoy some time off.

Hi everyone. Do any of you feel so disappointed you've ended up with mental health problems?

Did it take you a long time to accept?

What are the things that help you cope?

I'm struggling to take responsibility for my problems and life at the moment and everything seems hopeless.

Also do you feel embarrassed about your problems and that you've failed? I'm struggling with that too.

I do sometimes wish I was functioning at a higher level, getting more done, you know - being super Mum also pursuing an amazing career.
But honestly I remind myself to be thankful and content that I'm able to cope with life as well as I do. In partnership with DH (however rocky that is in itself!) we're pretty much able to provide a stable and happy home environment for dd and ds. We manage to keep the show on the road!
When I look at dd and ds I see that they're doing OK.
All that is enough.
(Luckily I wasn't born ambitious, to me it's more about the variety of lived experience)

I definitely need to work on gratitude.

I'm glad you think there's something helpful in that idea Milkhell

• there's definitely something about it which helps me

Oh vicar I hope it's not as bad as you think.

How's everyone doing? I've got family coming tomorrow.

Snowy I hope that family coming will be good for you and you have a lovely weekend.

Dumdum did you go to hospital? Thinking of you x

Milkhell, yes, i can relate very much to what you are saying
Love to all x

Hi snowy, lem, juggling, milk, vicar and everyone else.

milk yes. Took me quite a while to accept how things are.
What helps me cope? Hmm good question. Doing the three positive things a day thread, support here, walking/yoga, trying to believe that that I am continually improving..
Embarassed/failed thing. Less so as the months go on. But ultimately yes, still a bit. Not working - and struggle with that a bit now both dcs at school, however am doing some voluntary work at school and at church, plus painting at college. Still can be shouty with kids/off with dh/agitated but can't work out why...

snowy hope you have a good family visit.

Well, the working week is done - my one little thing to sort out resolved itself, which is nice.

Now for the weekend :) Can't decide between the gym and ice skating - could go to the gym on Sunday morning but can't skate then as no buses, so I guess that's decision made haha :)

I don't think I have come to terms with the fact my MH isn't as i'd like it to be. I don't even know if there's something "wrong" but there is this overwhelming feeling there is. I just don't want yet another label adding to me, so if I can get by with things like this thread and the new friendship group I'm going to next week, all the better really.

Work was OK today, some of my suggestions have been implemented, and I got complimented as I was mentioned in a nice review of the company, although not by name (my boss went through our call logs and found out who had spoken to the happy customer). Quite proud of that actually, makes me feel competent.

Competent is good, I like competent :)

evening all

yes it was as bad as i thought. actually worse.
my supervisor swears he fought my corner saying i was a hard worker, fearless, conscientious etc etc.
but it meant nothing.
something went wrong and management need to blame someone - and that someone is me.
im trying so hard not to stress - my supervisor was lovely but i burst into tears and felt a fool.
no one died.
something went wrong - i was doing what i thought was the right thing to do in absolutely good faith and i had taken advice from several more experienced people - but that means nothing and i have discovered when the shit hits the fan in this job you stand alone. totally and utterly alone.
my personal responsibility is being questioned - and that hurts because of everyone i work with i am the one who HAS to do the right thing no matter what cost to me - i go without food, drinks, breaks, i work over willingly to get the right result, i often dont see my family because i am so late home.
my supervisor says he has relayed this to senior management.
i hope he has but i suspect they wont actually care. i feel like i have been hung out to dry. the crown prosecution service told me to go and do something urgently for a case i was working on and had the suspect back to answer bail - i did it - it caused me to be late for something to do with a suspect, and they did a bunk having had time to think better of turning up for my "appointment" as it were.... all hell broke loose, dogs, helicopters, the world and his dog literally turned up. suspect was caught. even his solicitor says it was not my doing and was totally and utterly their own responsibility - but it doesnt work like that. someone has to shoulder the blame.
guess who that someone is.

i wonder why i bother sometimes. i was acting on advice from a lawyer for the cps, i was acting with the best of intentions so that i had a water tight case.
i wanted this person put away, and i was trying to ensure it happened by following the advice from laywers and colleagues. but it went wrong.
they are going away now for sure - they added to the list of misdemeanours and ensured their demise while trying to scarper. hindsight is wonderful, but unless i had had a crystal ball i couldnt forsee what happened.
but i fee like shit.
and im being treated like it too.

feeling sad and so ready for a break from it all.

Blimey Vicar, respect to you. There's no way I could handle all that on top of looking after dd and ds. Am so sorry work are blaming you and treating you like I know what that feels like. Sometimes the working world can really pile on the pressure can't it, and treat you like

Sorry vicar. That soubds rough, willthere be repercussions? I could not cope with that level of stress so as juggling says much respect to you. You now you did what was right, hangg on to that x

Crikey vicar.

Hugs to you.

Do you know what? I think you would have been in the wrong if you hadn't done the task the CPS asked of you. It was always going to be lose lose.

And the conclusion I've come to over the last couple of weeks is that in a lose lose you can't win (obviously). Therefore there is no point chastising yourself. Sure someone else will...but why add to your burden of woe with your own punishment of yourself?

I've had a pretty good week. It has been tough, but I am growing in confidence and self esteem which is great AND its making me FEEL great.

I'm shattered. I'm not getting enough sleep. But I'm nearly half way there....and the school I'm in -which I love - has a member of staff going on long term sick after christmas. I'm expecting to qualify in Jan so they have asked me if I will consider doing dome cover work for them. Needs consulting with finance bods but the department are really keen on the idea :)

So lovely to read a positive post from you ED - so proud of you x

I am just wanting to say...despite debilitating anxiety I have today got up, sorted breakfast for the two babies, got them ready, got me ready, took them to a relative's in a non child friendly house, gave them lunch in a random set up, took them with relative to a packed garden centre with garish Christmas stuff everywhere (at this post was sure I was having done kind of stress seizure but did my best to ignore) had tea and cake, come home.

I know this us bread and butter stuff for most but for me it's a big achievement

Hope everyone else is having a good day - or like me having a bad day but operating in spite of that. X

I know exactly what you mean Milk (though with me it was depression not anxiety), that is brilliant.

Thanks Sontaran! It's both but today mainly anxiety. Are you any 'better' nowadays?

Hey my lovelies!

Much love and respect to you Vicar - wise advice from all, just hunker down and be kind to yourself. You sound as if you could not have done anything differently, and acted with honesty and integrity. What more can you do?

Great news Ed, I also have a job starting in jan, Nana's previous line of work, which is not going to be easy. But I've met the team and have good vibes.

Lots of love to Lem , Milk , Juggling, lovely Snowy and anyone else I've forgotten.

What's everyone up to tonight?

Indian and wine for us. I can't wait!

We're all really looking forward to watching the Dr.Who special tonight (for the 50th anniversary) - have just got back from Sainsbo's with some little snacks and a and will be cosying up soon with the DC on the sofa to watch the (moderately) big screen - bigger anyway than when I first watched those scary monsters forty odd years ago

Big hugs vicar

Sounds good Juggling!

I'm back to beating myself up. DS is full day at nursery Monday for the first time, I'm back at work after my second mat leave (cut it short under advice from psychiatrist as he said I need to get back) and I forgot until my mum reminded me that DS needs a packed lunch taking. I would have totally, totally forgot because of my ruminating and self focus.

Blimey, don't worry about it Milk - in fact thanks for mentioning it as you've just reminded me that dd will need a packed lunch on Monday as she has a work experience day. I'd forgotten that too, but now have a whole day to make a little pack up for her ! When you're me operating like this is quite normal