Anxiety issue

[Ihavefailed]

i'm sorry if this is very trivial to post here, but i am hoping for some understanding, rather than a pull your socks up and get on with it or don't be so pathetic type respone I might get elsewhere. And it's probably more about just getting it all out.
I chair a local pre-school commitee. I was full of grandiose ideas, but i'm not very good at it. In fact i'm crap. My life is very full with two DC, a busy job and a house rennovation, i should never have taken it on.

This is i'm getting really really anxious about it. The more anxious I get, the bossier and more grandiose my ideas get, as i feel more and more insecure compared to the people around me. Which is a bit silly as in previous job roles I could have done this without worry. But now i'm left feeling pretty worthless, why can't i hold it all together like everyone else can?
i get the feeling i am turning in to one of those people who has to try and make themselves feel important no matter what.
I'm realising as i'm writing this that I am sounding very much like LDC lady from Marmalade's thread. (I'm not her!)
How do i change in to someone i like again?
And what do i do about this bloody committee without letting people down?

Sorry, i know it's very trivial compared to what lots of people are going through. It was silly to post it, bit typingit all out has helped some how. Sorry again, i feel that i have been very selfish to post here here.

You obviously have very low self esteem - which the grandiosity is attempting to cover up - shown by your username and also your first statement "i'm sorry if this is very trivial..." Your posts are just as worthy as anyone elses right?

Maybe you are governed by a rule a bit like this "If I take charge and do magnificently then I feel ok about myself, if not, then I feel worthless". This becomes self-defeating and circular, because the ambitious plans cannot come to fruition, and so you will feel bad anyway, and feel the need for ever more ambitious plans to feel ok about yourself.

Can you try and take some sort of pride in smaller achievements and remind yourself that they are good enough? Have you seen this thread where we are writing down 3 positive things a day?

As for the committee, if you are the chair, you don't necessarily have to say anything really, except maybe run through the agenda and let other people speak. So you would not be letting anyone down by taking a more back seat role. In fact, it would not be letting anyone down if you said you've taken on too much and unfortunately you will have to resign. That's just realistic. Your wellbeing should come first and it wouldn't be the end of the world. Infact, it would be a sign of strength.