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Original poster

Challenge from my Psychologist. Write down 3 positive things a day. Join me?

578 replies

fuzzpig · 05/09/2013 20:10

Background in brief - history of abuse and lengthy depression, self harm, lots of therapy in teens inc psych ward stay. Now suffering from CFS (also known as ME) and having CBT as part of the treatment.

So, we were talking about low self esteem, negative inner voice etc, and she suggested doing this to gradually build up evidence against these thoughts. I've done similar briefly in the past but having done a lot of psychological 'inner work' this year I feel ready to make it stick and I thought doing a thread on it would make me more likely to bother!

I'm off to watch telly with DH in a mo (Big Bang Theory 6 arrived yesterday :o) so won't be back til tomorrow but if anyone wants to do this with me then jump in! Could be stuff you've achieved, nice things that have happened etc.

Mine are:

  • Had my consultation over the phone for the first time - was worried it'd feel weird but I stuck with it and found it really helpful.
  • Contacted a friend to arrange a meet up while he's visiting home (I hardly ever initiate anything like that)
  • Wrote in my treatment journal the same day as my session, instead of leaving it for weeks!

:)

OP posts:
ColouringInQueen · 30/09/2013 20:15
  • met up with friend and had a good chat.
  • got the cleaning done
  • nice day weather-wise
FishfingersAreOK · 30/09/2013 20:26

Yesterday:
1)Another lovely day spent with DPs - both were really helpful with a couple of jobs am stuggling with due to broken foot.
2) Finally got round to contacting some cleaning companies to get some on-going help for the next few weeks
3) Lovely, wonderful, fabulous to see DH and DCs after their weekend away.

Today
No hot water this morning, so no shower....and I didn't freak out! Big improvement well done me
Got back from the school run and decided as I was tired I would lie down for a bit - and slept for 2 hours.
Enjoyed making plans for a trip out with DD at the weekend. She and I are struggling at the moment so need a love-bomb-esque trip together to reconnect.

Original poster
fuzzpig · 30/09/2013 21:13

Aaaargh feel like shit today as a cold/sore throat has thoroughly set in :( just waiting for the inevitable chest infection now and I'm grumpy because of it!

Yesterday is tricky as I just mooched at home feeling sorry for myself:

  • had a nice lie in after which I did feel a lot better
  • DSD loved the idea of coming to a work event with me so I'm really looking forward to some bonding time (hopefully her twin sister will want to come too but haven't asked yet)
  • DH washed and ironed all my work clothes as well as school uniform, and the laundry pile is significantly smaller :o
OP posts:
Original poster
fuzzpig · 30/09/2013 21:24

Today - actually much easier despite feeling so rough:

  • had a great chat with my boss and my line manager, including my 6 monthly review. Got great praise for my achievement diary too and generally feel much more positive considering I was quite nervous about it when I woke up!
  • got some internetty errands done with DH this morning.
  • managed to shower and prepare a meal for myself before work.
OP posts:
Feelingscrewedup · 30/09/2013 21:33
  1. The moor was so peaceful today and the spider webs were beautiful.
  2. I foraged a load of free food from hedgerows.
  3. I got three free clothes hangers.
Original poster
fuzzpig · 30/09/2013 22:02

What food did you get, feeling?

I just wanted to post about another bit of homework I've got from my psychologist. Might be relevant to some of you if you're interested.

I have a lot of anxiety - but have only recently come to understand that anxiety is actually the main problem rather than depression if that makes sense. It stops me doing a lot and basically rules my life so my homework is that for a few days I need to write down every worry I have. That in itself is a scary prospect as I have so many and they go so quickly that I sometimes can't even understand them.

Anyway, what I have to do afterwards is write down what actually happened. So if the worry is unfounded, I write down why it was wrong. Or if the thing I was worried about did happen, I write down what I did and how I coped.

For example today I arrived at work and found that on the timetable I was scheduled to meet my manager. I immediately decided I must have done something wrong, but actually it was just a catch up chat and was a really useful time, so my worry was unfounded.

Much like the positives diary this is meant to help me build up a bank of evidence against my anxiety so that gradually I become able to combat the worries as they occur.

OP posts:
Orangeclouds · 30/09/2013 22:43

That's a good idea about the worries.

I am sure my friend is disappointed in me because I said no to something we were going to do together - but I know because he has said that he's actually disappointed in himself for not doing something about it sooner.

BeaWheesht · 30/09/2013 23:03

I need to do that with my worries fuzzpig, I worry all the time and I hate it, it is destroying me :(

My 3 for yesterday....
Ds did his homework nicely
I ordered myself something from the Internet
It was a lovely sunny day

Today...
Errrrrr struggling.
Ds has been really lovely today instead of being stroppy and angry like he has been a lot lately (he's 6 acts 16)
Got contacted by a photographer to see if I'd like a bargain photo shoot with dc
Last week before holidays

BeaWheesht · 30/09/2013 23:06

Maybe tmi but does anyone find their anxiety is worse before their period? Mine goes through the roof. This last week I've really struggled and have cancelled seeing friends because I 'can't face it' and that isn't like me, usually I force myself and enjoy it once I'm there iyswim?

Argh this is all so frustrating I wish I could make Dh understand e just says 'relax' and my mum just tells me I need to grow up and show the dc a happy go lucky mummy. :( if only it were that easy, I swear the day I had dd, who is my gorgeous little light of my life, something switched in me and I'm just not the same person. I don't know how to pull myself together :(

Sorry to put a downer on things.

ZingWantsCake · 30/09/2013 23:18

bea

interesting thought, you might be onto something!
I get anxious/panicky quite infrequently and randomly (and I think it's mild compared to others) but lately I noticed that I get unreasonably on edge for a couple of days - then bamm, AF arrives.

ZingWantsCake · 30/09/2013 23:26

bea

something switched because you became a mother! worrying is part of what we do as parents - it is normal and narural.

I haven't read your other posts, just the most recent one - if you are struggling and haven't been to may I suggest counselling?

it was an enormous help for me. in fact I figured out that I had a big problem with poor time-management, which caused a lot of troubles.
I was amazed at that revelation, it was most unexpected.

I'd like to help you so if you want to talk pm me anytime

ZingWantsCake · 30/09/2013 23:27

natural even Wink

BeaWheesht · 01/10/2013 06:21

Thanks zing. I was already a mum before I had dd though, she isn't my oldest, I just had a crappy birth and post birth experience and it seems to have really done something to me. I've had counselling but had to stop because I've nobody to watch the kids. Thanks for advice, I appreciate it.

Original poster
fuzzpig · 01/10/2013 08:11

Hugs Bea, that sounds very stressful and I empathise.

Most people are aware of PND, but post natal anxiety as a separate issue is not nearly so well known, even though it can be so severe that postnatal OCD is diagnosed.

I have a preliminary diagnosis of OCD by the way - still waiting to see someone locally (the psychologist I currently work with is at St Bart's and I see her for the CFS/ME rather than MH issues)

OP posts:
ColouringInQueen · 01/10/2013 19:55

Hi all

  • met a friend for lunch and had a good chat
  • got some walking in
  • booked haircut
Feelingscrewedup · 01/10/2013 20:51

Fuzzpig - berries and wild apples, :)

Today:

  1. Been struggling with eating for a while but have managed to increase calories today and not feel too awful about it.
  2. Made some successful work related phone calls.
  3. Sorted my clothes into colour order - it was very therapeutic!
LollipopViolet · 01/10/2013 21:06

I got through today without crying
I changed my phone wallpaper to a pic of me and my granddad - this makes me happy, as I remember the good times I had with him
It's the first meeting/rehearsal for our ice rink's Christmas show tomorrow

Original poster
fuzzpig · 01/10/2013 21:45

Hugs lollipop - you are dealing with this very well, go easy on yourself.

Mine for today:

  • Heard DS, who has a speech disorder, 'reading' (ie reciting what he could remember) The Gruffalo to himself in bed. Absolutely, completely heart melting pride. DD chuffed too, and that makes me even more proud of my DCs that she loves her little brother so much.
  • MN tester product (Cadbury pebbles) arrived and DH picked up a cake for me so we could decorate it for the feedback thread. Quite pleased with my attempt at a fish.
  • inhaler seems to be having an effect as my chest hasn't felt so bad as it did when I woke up.
OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 01/10/2013 22:32

Mine for today.

A couple of appointments at work went well.
I was completely exhausted when I got in tonight but still managed to ask DH about his day and also walk the dog.
Have started mindfulness course and very hopeful for what this can do for me.

BeaWheesht · 01/10/2013 22:45

Mine today:

Ate healthier
House downstairs is presentable
Dd went really fast on her scooter for the first time today and afterwards said 'but my mummy it was going very fast for my little legs!' Smile

spanky2 · 02/10/2013 09:34

Was able to listen to dh talking about his stress.
Helped a boy understand what the numbers in times tables mean .
Both dcs did their homework without making a fuss.

Feelingscrewedup · 02/10/2013 19:54
  1. Again managed to eat a reasonable amount.
  2. Watched Notting Hill :)
  3. Did the washing up and hoovered which was an achievement for me!
ColouringInQueen · 02/10/2013 21:26

hello all

  • Had fun at a salvage yard with my dad and got a lovely butlers sink
  • Made a tasty autumnal dinner
  • DD happier going into school today
ZingWantsCake · 02/10/2013 21:50
  • did my excersice, and I did it better than yesterday
  • kids are asleep so it's quiet now
  • my DrMartens x2 arrived. not sure which pair I'll keep, red or black but I can keep both if I want as I've got more leftover money than I thought!
yay!Smile
MajesticWhine · 02/10/2013 22:35

Mine for today

I got some of my mountain of paperwork done
I had lots of exercise cycling to work
Ordered my baby niece's birthday present